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Classified And Sales Ads

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Glockrunner, Sep 13, 2002.

  1. Glockrunner

    Glockrunner HOOYA DEEPSEA

    4,251
    3
    Sep 10, 2001
    SC
    The following were taken from recent ads in newspapers:


    AMANA WASHER $100.
    OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED.

    FREE PUPPIES...PART GERMAN SHEPHERD - PART DOG

    COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED...
    ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.

    83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK -- $2000

    FREE PUPPIES:
    1/2 COCKER SPANIEL -
    1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG

    SOFT & GENITAL BATH TISSUES OR FACIAL TISSUE
    89 cents

    GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.

    SHAKESPEARE'S PIZZA - FREE CHOPSTICKS

    FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG.
    LOOKS LIKE A RAT...
    BEEN OUT AWHILE..
    BETTER BE REWARD.

    HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER
    "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"

    GET A LITTLE JOHN:
    THE TRAVELING URINAL HOLDS 2 1/2 BOTTLES OF BEER.

    FREE: FARM KITTENS. READY TO EAT.

    AMERICAN FLAG
    60 STARS - POLE INCLUDED
    $100

    NOTICE:
    TO THE PERSON OR PERSONS WHO TOOK THE LARGE PUMPKIN ON HIGHWAY 87
    NEAR SOUTHRIDGE STORAGE: PLEASE RETURN THE PUMPKIN AND BE CHECKED. PUMPKIN MAY BE RADIOACTIVE. ALL OTHER PLANTS IN VICINITY ARE DEAD.

    EXERCISE EQUIPMENT:
    QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS - $175.

    KELLOGG'S POT TARTS - $1.99 box

    FULLY COOKED BONELESS SMOKED
    MAN - $2.09 lb.