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Classic Retorts

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by pupcuss27, Mar 5, 2008.

  1. pupcuss27

    pupcuss27 CLM

    May 13, 2007
    Classic Retorts

    When in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of 'Empire building' by George Bush.
    He answered by saying, "Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return." It became very quiet in the room.

    Then there was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break one of the French engineers came back into the room saying "Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?"
    A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: "Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are
    nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000
    people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen
    helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?" Once again, dead silence.

    A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies.
    At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone
    was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, 'whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.' He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?'

    (This is pretty good!)

    Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied 'Maybe it’s because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have
    to speak German.'
    You could have heard a pin drop!

    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. :supergrin: