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CCW etiquette

Discussion in 'General Firearms Forum' started by gocubs6, Jul 2, 2013.

  1. void *

    void * Dereference Me!

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    I have a buddy who I've known since we were both in junior high school who occasionally comes and visits.

    We live far apart enough that when I and my wife visit him or he and his wife visit us, someone's spending the night (there's no way I'd make him get a hotel, and vice versa).

    The last time they came to visit was right after he got his carry permit. The first thing he did when he got here was ask me where he wanted me to put his carry gun when it wasn't on him.

    And that, really, is all I personally care about. If you're legal, you're legal, and I'm personally not going to mind as long as it's in your direct possession and you're not an idiot handling it. If you're going to be staying long enough that you're going to want to have it not in your direct possession while in my home - have the courtesy to ask.

    We put a small safe in the spare room while they were here, he set the combo, I cleared it after he left. My kids know what to do if they find a firearm, but they never have, because I keep them in a safe if they're not in my direct possession. I would expect anyone who was visiting here and given the spare room to abide by that. Anybody else - not an idiot? Legal? I'm not worried.
     
  2. Jay26

    Jay26

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    Gotta side with asking the homeowners permission. I don't think discretely asking a homeowner is the same as walking into a party and pulling up your shirt(exposing your weapon) and announcing to everyone within earshot that you're armed and ready to party! Also find it interesting how many folks are willing to cut bait on family and friends over a single issue (guns). Perhaps more exposure to responsible law abiding gun owners would change their opinion. We have to battle constantly the image in the left wing media of being obsessed "gun nuts". Just sayin......
     

  3. ferretray

    ferretray

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    I'm not a socialite. There are very few people I'd want to spend my time with, and those would be folks who approve of a free man going about armed.
     
  4. ferretray

    ferretray

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    The "Blood relative" thing means nothing to me. I won't voluntarily associate with fools of any stripe.
     
  5. RonS

    RonS Millennium Member

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    If I am not close enough to someone to have discussed it I'm unlikely to be visiting their home. If we have discussed it and I found that their reaction was not what I expected, I'm also unlikely to be visiting their home. So for me I really don't see a problem. I have progressive family members but I have only one progressive friend and I respect her very personal, very tragic reasons for how she views the world.
     
  6. racer88

    racer88 NRA & SAF mbr

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    I have cut ties with friends and family over political issues... but, ONLY when they resort to personal attacks (when they realize they have no logic or facts behind their points). I'll debate or discuss any number of issues. And, I'm quite good at it. That doesn't mean I don't tolerate opposing views. Bring it on! But, I WON'T tolerate PERSONAL attacks. Once they go after ME, we're done. It speaks loudly of how they REALLY feel (about me).

    Fortunately, those instances have been few and far between. But, they have happened.
     
  7. Jgriggs

    Jgriggs

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    But nobody said anything about asking each and everytime.
    Nobody said anything about being the big man on campus. And nobody said you are announcing that you are armed.

    Isn't it possible to ask, whether directly or indirectly how a person feels about firearms at their kid's birthday party? That is the premise of the OP after all. What I'm saying here is that it is possible to ask in a non-public way, for example in a private phone call, and in generic terms. There never needs to be another conversation on the topic. An intelligent person can infer from that conversation whether permission would logically be granted or not. Most people who have answered this thread for example, I would assume that I could CCW while at their houses.

    Not flaming you here, just trying to point out that there are discreet ways to broach a subject, and ways that are inherently confrontational. I know that there are those that would be as confrontational as possible, but I think that most people would opt for discretion even in the conversation. I.E. not trying to be that big man on campus.
     
  8. racer88

    racer88 NRA & SAF mbr

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    Not taking it as "flaming" at all. No worries there. I stand by my analysis of those who feel COMPELLED to discuss it with every and all private property owners they may happen to visit. The justification of "politeness" is emotionally based, IMO. I won't and don't ask. Haven't asked in 20 years of CCW. And, it's never been an issue. I don't have any feelings of guilt to assuage. And, that is simply that.

    If it makes YOU feel better to ask permission, good on ya. I just don't have that need to feel better. I'm feeling pretty good, quite safe, and very confident about "concealed means concealed."
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2013
  9. Jgriggs

    Jgriggs

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    Don't misunderstand me here, I'm not necessarily talking about asking permission. I now know that if I visited your home that I would not have to worry about offending you if I was carrying. The flipside is that if you visited my home, the fact that I also carry on occasion, not always, but frequently, means that I would not feel offended if you carried in my home. I think you and I have that pretty well cleared up, there would not need to be "permission" granted and certainly would not need to have that conversation on every visit.

    But heres the real point, If I knew a person was opposed to it what would I do? In some cases I might carry anyway, in others I might not. The same idea as seeing the "weapon free zone" in front of a store. My state expressly outlines places that are illegal to carry in, Wal-mart is not one of them. So a store policy is something I might honor, or might (probably) not. Friends are the same way for me, knowing where they stand is just something nice to know.
     
  10. plp

    plp

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    Not once has it ever come up with either new friends or old. I have a wide variety of people I interact with, including artists and musicians. They tend to be unaware for the most part of the effort that goes into providing security for them, to live their lives free from undue invasion. To them, personal defense is an abstract philosophical ideal, not a fact of life. I may debate these issues on a social level for exchange of ideas, not once have I felt the need to reveal that I am armed for not only my but their protection as well.
     
  11. racer88

    racer88 NRA & SAF mbr

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    Mmm-kay. I simply don't care where they stand on this issue or any number of other issues. Where do they stand on abortion? Religion? Breastfeeding vs bottle? Doesn't matter. Don't care. It's simply irrelevant to my interaction with them.
     
  12. Jake Starr

    Jake Starr

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    Do they have a sign on their door prohibiting CC?

    Otherwise, "Don't ask, don't tell."

    Besides, you have friends that would not want you to carry when you visit them?

    You need new friends. I have no such friends.
     
  13. Simpleman71

    Simpleman71

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    I carry everywhere my state/the law allows me to carry.
     
  14. The Wolverine

    The Wolverine

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    Please tell me you are kidding.

    Are you going to pull it out and let their kids play with it? If the answer is "NO" and you are a responsible CCW'er, carry on and keep your pie hole closed.


    Carry everywhere it is legal, and keep your mouth shut about it. Period
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2013
  15. Green Mountain Boy

    Green Mountain Boy

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    If I am going to a place where I know the homeowner is against ccw to the point of not wanting it on their property I will leave it in my vehicle. Lets all be honest and admit that for the most part you can guess what someones view points are going to be if you know them well enough.

    When we go to the family camp I bring a case and lock as well as a trigger lock. Some of my fiance's family knows I carry some do not. Her brothers friends and significant other do not know and I don't advertise. Two of those locks are combo and the trigger lock is on my key chain. When it is time to swimm or jetski I lock the gun with mag out, chamber empty, trigger guard locked, and duffle bag locked. I don't expect anyone to be rooting through my duffle bag so it is a non issue.

    The only time I learned of someones CCW status when it was too late was my future FIL. He keeps a .22 in the jeep locked and loaded apparently. We borrowed the jeep one day to go off roading and were stopped on the way back. He had a break light out. Officer asked for lic, reg, and insurance. Opened the glove box to find a handgun I had not told the officer about (I just learned of it for the first time as well). That stop ended well but could have gone worse.

    Regards, GMB
     
  16. Jay26

    Jay26

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    I know as a homeowner I want to know who is armed around my family in my house. We've all seen knuckleheads with CCWs at the range, shows, LGS, etc.. I don't want them in my house around my family armed. What if you are throwing a party where booze are being served. Do you want armed partiers around your kids? What about a female that CCW's in a purse that could be accidentally left unattended or end up in the "coat room" where kids could potentially get access to it. Just saying that not everyone with a CCW is as responsible and has the weapon awareness of my fellow GTers...
     
  17. willieH

    willieH

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    Do the homeowners, for whom you disarm to accommodate their anti-gun stance, have the moral obligation to ensure your safety while on their property? If so, do you have an equal right to ask what security precautions and self defense measures they use for your protection?
     
  18. bill4282

    bill4282

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    First, some cities prohibit the carrying of any badge other than a LEO badge (my son's town in particular) and if caught considered officer impersonation and a felony. Secondly, Tennessee law concerning the HCP (handgun carry permit) requires that you notify any person whose home you are entering that you are carrying and get permission to carry. violation can result in loss of the permit.
     
  19. Jay26

    Jay26

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    Not much diffrent than going to some major sporting events where they have security wanding people at the gate. Do you really feel safe with such a small police presence vs thousands of fans?
     
  20. willieH

    willieH

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    Would you be so kind to provide the legal reference for your statement.

    The only prohibition I'm aware is within Tenn Codes 39-17-1315, where an individual is authorized to prohibit possession of weapons by any person otherwise authorized by this subsection (b), at meetings conducted by, or on premises owned, operated, managed or under control of the individual, corporation, business entity or governmental entity. Notice of the prohibition shall be posted or announced.