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Captured

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by SmilingOtter, Dec 4, 2006.

  1. Dan Rather, Cokie Roberts, and a tough old Marine were all captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader of the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last request before they were beheaded.

    Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowlful of hot spicy chili." The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."

    Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end."

    The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Roberts dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy."

    The leader turned and said, "And now, Marine, what is your final wish?"
    "Kick me in the ass," said the Marine.
    "What?" asked the leader? "Will you mock us in your last hour?"
    "No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass," insisted the Marine. So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the ass.

    The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from inside his cammies, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine and sprayed the Iraqis with gunfire. In a flash, all the Iraqis were either dead or fleeing for their lives.

    As the Marine was untying Rather and Roberts, they asked him, "Why didn't you just shoot them in the beginning? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass first?"

    "What," replied the Marine, "and have you idiots report that I was the aggressor?
     

  2. outlaws161

    outlaws161

    57
    0
    Dec 10, 2001
    Fl
    I Like that


    Dan Rather, Cokie Roberts, and a tough old Marine were all captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader of the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last request before they were beheaded.

    Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowlful of hot spicy chili." The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."

    Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end."

    The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Roberts dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy."

    The leader turned and said, "And now, Marine, what is your final wish?"
    "Kick me in the ass," said the Marine.
    "What?" asked the leader? "Will you mock us in your last hour?"
    "No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass," insisted the Marine. So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the ass.

    The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from inside his cammies, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine and sprayed the Iraqis with gunfire. In a flash, all the Iraqis were either dead or fleeing for their lives.

    As the Marine was untying Rather and Roberts, they asked him, "Why didn't you just shoot them in the beginning? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass first?"

    "What," replied the Marine, "and have you idiots report that I was the aggressor?
    [/QUOTE] :laughabove: :rofl: :rofl:
     
  3. 4095fanatic

    4095fanatic

    628
    0
    Oct 12, 2006
    I remember when Geraldo gave away some marine's positions on TV...

    fast forward two weeks or so

    ...Geraldo is shaking hands with a bunch of marines. Every marine had spent the previous hour with his hands down his pants getting their hands nice and sweaty for when Geraldo came apparently (heard it from a guy in the unit) lol.
     
  4. I would have been rubbing my hands in my sweaty butt crack!