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Canadian Confidence Cannot Be Shaken

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Jerry, Dec 3, 2003.

  1. Jerry

    Jerry Staff Member Moderator Millennium Member

    4,116
    1
    Dec 21, 1998
    Louisiana
    Only Newfoundlanders !!



    Osama Bin Laden was sitting in his cave wondering which country to

    invade next, when his telephone rang. "Hallo, Mr. Laden" a heavily

    accented voice said. "This is Archie, down 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in

    Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada ey? I am callin' to tells ya dat we

    are officially declaring war on you ey!"



    "Well Archie," Osama replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is

    your army?"



    "Right now," said Archie, after a moment's calculation, "there is

    myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart

    team from the pub.That makes eight!"



    Osama paused. "I must tell you Archie, that I have one million men in my

    army waiting to move on my command."



    "Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!"



    Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Laden, the war is

    still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"



    "And what equipment would that be Archie?", Osama asked.



    "Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor."



    Osama sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and

    14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one

    and a half million since we last spoke."



    "Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to

    ya."



    Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. "Mr. Laden, the war is

    still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified

    Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four

    byes from the Legion have joined us as well!"



    Osama was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you

    Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military

    complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And

    since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"



    "Jeysus, Mary and Joseph," said Archie, "I'll have ta call youse back."



    Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "Mr. Laden! I am sorry to

    have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."



    "I'm sorry to hear that" said Osama. "Why the sudden change of heart?"



    "Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long

    chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can

    feed two million prisoners."



    CANADIAN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN!