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Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by ERASER, Sep 19, 2003.


  1. ERASER

    ERASER
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    Nyuk,Nyuk,Nyuk!

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2000
    4,787
    220
    1. Constipated People Don't Give A sh*t.

    2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.

    3. If You Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.

    4. Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?

    5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth
    Shut.

    6. Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.

    7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could
    Drive A Little Better.

    8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.

    9. Thank You For Pot Smoking.

    10. To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.

    11. If At First You Don't Succeed... Blame Someone
    Else And Seek Counseling.

    12. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".

    13. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.

    14. Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.

    15. It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You
    Put The Booger.

    16. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.

    17. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are
    Talking To Me.

    18. The Earth Is Full - Go Home.

    19. I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha.

    20. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening
    To Me.

    21. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.

    22. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.

    23. If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?

    24. The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember
    My Name.

    25. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.

    26. Illiterate? Write For Help.

    27. Honk If Anything Falls Off.

    28. Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.

    29. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From
    The Next Exit .

    30. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An
    Unarmed Person.

    31. You! Out Of The Gene Pool!

    32. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.

    33. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This
    Handbasket?

    37. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It
    Wrong...

    38. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!

    39. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...
    [Seen Upside Down On A Jeep]

    40. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph
    Are Also Timed For 70mph.

    41. Guys: No Shirt, No Service.
    Gals: No Shirt, No Charge

    42. If Walking Is So Good For You, then Why Does My
    Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?

    43. Necrophilia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack
    Open A Cold One.

    44. Ax Me About Ebonics.

    45. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel.

    46. Boldly Going Nowhere.

    47. Cat: The Other White Meat.

    48. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde.

    49. Don't Be Sexist - *****es Hate That.

    50. Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His
    Animal Friends.

    51. Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From
    A Car Window.

    52. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before
    He Admits He is lost?

    53. If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle
    Them With Bullets.

    54. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids
    In Touch.

    55. Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!

    56. My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.

    57. GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A MAN.

    58. All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.

    59. Some people are only alive because it is illegal
    to shoot them.

    60. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

    61. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

    62. BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

    63. So you're a feminist...Isn't that precious.

    64. I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?

    65. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
     

    Wanna kill these ads? We can help!
  2. Steve Koski

    Steve Koski
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    Got Insurance?
    Millennium Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 1999
    7,058
    0
    Location:
    Montanuh
    51. Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From
    A Car Window.


    Too funny!
     

  3. ERASER

    ERASER
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    Nyuk,Nyuk,Nyuk!

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2000
    4,787
    220
    I kinda like this one................




    53. If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle
    Them With Bullets.
     
  4. Guzzler69

    Guzzler69
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    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2001
    8
    0
    Location:
    Arizona
    One I saw the other day...

    Loud pipes = Small Pen!s
     
  5. Pack26

    Pack26
    Expand Collapse

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2001
    82
    0
    Location:
    Indianapolis, IN USA
    On the back of semi going up a steep hill; I may be slow, but I'm ahead of you.
     
  6. David_G17

    David_G17
    Expand Collapse
    /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2002
    2,046
    0
    when they ban assault rifles,
    what will we shoot liberals with?
     
  7. 218

    218
    Expand Collapse
    Glock 'n Roll

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2003
    428
    0
    Location:
    Metro-Boston, Massachusetts
    "If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you"
     
  8. Bannack

    Bannack
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    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2002
    775
    0
    Location:
    NW Montana
    I'm Going Nucking Futs
     
  9. BadLight

    BadLight
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    Was that a tree

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2001
    164
    0
    Location:
    The Ethernet, of course
    And my favorite....


    It takes a village.... to elect an idiot
     
  10. thisaway

    thisaway
    Expand Collapse
    Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2000
    1,580
    2
    Location:
    Soddy Daisy, Tenn.
    If ignorance is bliss...then you must be orgasmic!
     
  11. ghostwn

    ghostwn
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    Ghost Member

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2002
    278
    0
    Location:
    SoCal
    "Dare To Keep Cops Off Donuts"
     
  12. sigsrbest

    sigsrbest
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    "Clique"member

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2003
    80
    0
    Location:
    the 9th circle of hell
    "lock up liberals , not guns " ...:)
     
  13. SIGlock

    SIGlock
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    Millennium Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 1999
    611
    0
    Location:
    Rocket City, USA
    If guns kill then matches start arson.
     
  14. David_G17

    David_G17
    Expand Collapse
    /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2002
    2,046
    0
    "honk if you're carrying warrants!"
     
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