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bricklayer's accident-true story

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by barstoolguru, May 26, 2011.


  1. barstoolguru

    barstoolguru
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    texas proud

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    Possibly the funniest story in a while. This is a bricklayer's accident
    report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent
    of the Workers' Compensation board. This is a true story. Had this guy
    died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure....



    Dear Sir:

    I am writing in response to your request for additional
    information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning"
    as the cause of my accident.. You asked for a fuller explanation and I
    trust the following details will be sufficient.

    I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working
    alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work,
    found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later, were
    found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs.

    Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a
    barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building
    on the sixth floor.

    Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the
    barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the
    rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.

    You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 175 lbs.

    Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my
    presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say,
    I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

    In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now
    proceeding downward at an equal, impressive speed.

    This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar
    bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.

    Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the
    fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
    Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able
    to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a great
    deal of pain.

    At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the
    ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of
    the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs.

    I refer you again to my weight.

    As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the
    building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up.
    This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several
    lacerations of my legs and lower body.

    Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel
    seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile
    of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

    I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in
    pain unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and
    let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its
    journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

    I hope this answers your inquiry.



    Bill Fuller
     

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  2. ddbtoth

    ddbtoth
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    No way--he would have to be a Liberal to be that stupid.
     

  3. R.K. Watkins

    R.K. Watkins
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    This story has been going around since at least 1969 to my personal knowledge. I would be quite interested in seeing documentation that it is "true".
     
  4. bonetown

    bonetown
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    Ralph pls go

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  5. furioso2112

    furioso2112
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    gotta be false if the weights are correct - the pulley should effectively cut the weight of the bricks in half - presuming they were dragging along the side of the building, that would reduce it again. It just is too implausible - to be jerked up so quickly that he didn't have the presence of mind to let go, and never thought of the weight difference in the first place makes it a joke, not a true story.
     
  6. BMH

    BMH
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    There was a Mythbusters episode about this.