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Brand new 2004 edition of "You know you're a redneck when..."

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by JTB, Aug 16, 2004.

  1. JTB

    JTB always learning

    280
    0
    Aug 8, 2003
    Santa Clara CA
    1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
    2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
    3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
    4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
    5. You think the "Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
    6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
    7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
    8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
    9. You come back from the dump with more than you took there.
    10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
    11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
    12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
    13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
    14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
    15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
    16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
    17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
    18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
    19. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
    20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
    21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
    22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
    23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.
    24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
    25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
    26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
    27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000.00 worth of improvements.
    28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
    29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
    30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
    And last, but not least...

    31. Someone tells you that you've got something in your teeth, so you take them out to see what it is!
     
  2. Busted on counts 6 (just this Saturday), 9 (more than once), 12, 13, 17, and 18 (house had vertical blinds).
     


  3. Mr. Slithers

    Mr. Slithers M.F.I.C.

    50
    0
    Nov 22, 2001
    Sterling, VA
  4. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    64,670
    1,525
    Oct 28, 2001
    Muskogee Ok.
  5. joker1

    joker1

    180
    0
    Jul 5, 2004
    verona, ky
    1,3,6,13,16,20;P I didn't even realize...