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Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Jun 11, 2007.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    Oct 28, 2001
    Muskogee Ok.
    Did you bear about the two blondes that were found frozen to death in their
    car at the drive-in movie theatre?
    They went to see 'Closed for Winter'.
  2. Careful you will get Eric started again!

  3. Ian

    Ian Millennium Member

    Dec 16, 1998
    Now that is funny!:rofl:
    Is it true?
  4. pupcuss27

    pupcuss27 CLM

    May 13, 2007
    I married a Blonde.......

    :hugs: :rofl:

    Just told her the joke, had to explain it to her of course.

    Eric doesn't like Blonde Jokes ??? :sad:
  5. pulaskipusher

    pulaskipusher Topodaworldma!

    May 1, 2007
    North Idaho
    my wifes reply quote "What-What? Oh" :animlol:
  6. Ian

    Ian Millennium Member

    Dec 16, 1998
    I dunno, the true natural blondes that I have met, have always been intelligent, wonderful people. It's the fake blondes that you have to worry about
  7. Eric can tell some very mean, spiteful, horrid and totally...

    ...hilarious blond jokes! :shocked: :supergrin:

    A blonde woman is driving along a country road out in rolling hills of the midwest when she sees some movement off in the distance. As she gets closer, she realizes that it is another blonde woman in a rowboat in the middle of a field rowing the boat like crazy.

    She stops her car at the side of the road and gets out. She yells out to the blonde in the rowboat, "What the hell are you doing?"

    The blonde in the boat, obviously flustered, yells back, "I have got to hurry up and get home in time for dinner or I will be in real trouble!"

    The blonde at the side of the road is aggravated. "I can't believe this! You are out in the middle of a field in a row boat! It is blondes like you that give blondes like me a bad name! In fact, if I could swim, I would swim out there and kick your butt!"

    :rofl: :animlol: :thumbsup:
  8. Why did the blonde snort NutraSweet? She thought it was diet coke.

    What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

    What does a smart blonde and a UFO have in common? You are always hearing about them, but you never actually see one.

    Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks? Takes too long to retrain them.

    What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios? "Oh look! Doughnut seeds!"

    What do you call a blonde dyed brunette? Artificial intelligence.

    What do you call three blondes in a freezer? Frosted Flakes.
  9. q) what's a blonde's mating call?
    a) ohmigod, i'm so druuuunk!

    q) what's an ugly blonde's mating call?
    a) [stomping foot] i saaaaaaid - i'm so DRUNK!

    q) what's a brunette's mating call?
    a) that blonde gone yet?
  10. There were 11 people holding onto a rope that came down from a plane. Ten were blonde, and one was a brunette. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't then the rope would break and everyone would die.

    No one could decide who should go, so finally the brunette said, "I'll get off." After a really touching speech from the brunette saying she would get off...

    ...all of the blondes started clapping. :rofl:
  11. she sent me a fax with a stamp on it

    she thought a quarterback was a refund

    she tried to drown a fish

    she tripped over a cordless phone

    she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate"

    she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind

    she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK"

    if you gave her a penny for intelligence, you'd get change back

    they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade

    she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept

    at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here"..she put "Sagittarius"

    she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store

    if she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless

    she studied for a blood test - and failed

    she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train

    she sold the car for gas money

    when she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16 friends

    when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved

    she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill

    when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home
  12. pupcuss27

    pupcuss27 CLM

    May 13, 2007
    A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new
    dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by
    saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said,
    "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
    "Hell-OOOOOO," answered the blond.
    "They're watch dogs!"
  13. pupcuss27

    pupcuss27 CLM

    May 13, 2007
    The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of inspiration, takes out her purse, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin, marking the answers after each toss. Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still sweating it out. During the last few minutes she is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. I finished the exam in half an hour, but now I'm rechecking my answers."
  14. pupcuss27

    pupcuss27 CLM

    May 13, 2007
    A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
  15. pupcuss27

    pupcuss27 CLM

    May 13, 2007
    A married couple was asleep, when the phone rang at 2
    in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked
    up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should
    I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.
    The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I
    don't know, some woman wanting to know "if the coast
    is clear."