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Birth of a Candy Bar

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Sep 13, 2004.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    Oct 28, 2001
    Muskogee Ok.
    Birth of a Candy Bar

    It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss
    Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and
    Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "hey
    Sweetheart, how'd you like to Krunch on my big hunk for a Million
    Dollar Bar?" Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll,
    and it was like Pure Almond Joy! I couldn't help but grab her
    delicious Mounds because it was easy to see that this little
    Twix had the Red Hots. It was all I could do to hold the Snicker
    and Crackle as my Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat
    and she started to scream "Oh Henry, Oh Henry!" Soon she was
    fondling my Peter Pan and ZagNut and I knew it wouldn't be long
    before I blew my Milk Duds clear to Mars that gave her a taste of
    the old Milky Way. She asked me if I was into M&M, but I said,
    "Hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff." I said "Look you little Reese's
    Pieces, don't be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. Why don't you take my
    Whatchamacallit and slip it up your Bit 'O' Honey?" (What a piece
    of Juicy Fruit she was, too!) She screamed, "Oh Crackerjack,
    you're better than the Three Musketeers!" as I rammed my Ding Dong
    up her Rocky Road and into her Peanut Butter Cup. Well, I was
    giving it to her Good 'N' Plenty, when all the
    Starburst! Yeah, as luck would have it, she started to grow
    Chunky and complained of a Wrigley in her stomach. Sure enough,
    nine months later, out popped...........Baby Ruth!