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Best Military Branch?

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by Clutch Cargo, Oct 21, 2012.

  1. Clutch Cargo

    Clutch Cargo Amsterdam Haze

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    A Soldier, a Sailor, an Airman and a Marine got into an argument about which branch of the service was "The Best." The arguing became so heated the four servicemen failed to see an oncoming truck as they crossed the street.
    They were hit by the truck and killed instantly.

    ...Soon, the four servicemen found themselves at the Pearly gates of Heaven. There, they met Saint Peter and decided that only he could be the ultimate source of truth and honesty. So, the four servicemen asked him, "Saint Peter, which branch of the United States Armed Forces is the best?"


    ...Saint Peter replied, "I can't answer that. However, I will ask God what He thinks the next time I see Him. Meanwhile, thank you for your service on Earth and welcome to Heaven."

    Sometime later the four servicemen see Saint Peter and remind him of the question they had asked when first entering Heaven and asked Saint Peter if he was able to ask God for the answer to their answer.

    Suddenly, a sparkling white dove lands on Saint Peter's shoulder. In the dove's beak is a note glistening with gold dust. Saint Peter opens the note, trumpets blare, gold dust drifts into the air, harps play crescendos and Saint Peter begins to read the note aloud to the four servicemen:

    MEMORANDUM FROM THE DESK OF THE ALMIGHTY ONE
    TO: All Former Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, and Marines
    SUBJECT: Which Military Service Is the Best

    1. All branches of the United States Armed Forces are honorable and noble.

    2. Each serves America well and with distinction.

    3. Serving in the United States military represents a great honor warranting special respect, tribute, and dedication from your fellow man.

    4. Always be proud of that.

    Warm regards,
    GOD
     
  2. Rabbi

    Rabbi The Bombdiggity Lifetime Member

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    ...Notice the Coast Guardsman was smart enought to avoid not only the argument...but giant loud trucks doing what giant loud trucks do...

    SEMPER PARATUS!
     
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2012

  3. Clutch Cargo

    Clutch Cargo Amsterdam Haze

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    True:supergrin:
    I didn't write it, but the writer DID leave out some very important folks. This is especially true in the age of terrorism.
     
  4. JBnTX

    JBnTX

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    ALL the branches of the military play on the same team.

    Some play offense and some play defense,
    but it takes the entire team to win.

    There is no "best" branch of service.

    :patriot:

    (But somebody should have seen that damn truck.)
     
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2012
  5. Clutch Cargo

    Clutch Cargo Amsterdam Haze

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    Amen. Greetings to the folks in Mansfield.
     
  6. GreenDrake

    GreenDrake Rip Lips

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    Don't forget who pulls guard duty at the gates. Semper Fi.
     
  7. el_jewapo

    el_jewapo

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    “I learned that Marines never leave their dead and wounded behind, officers always eat last, the U.S. Army is chicken**** in combat, the Navy is worse, and the Air Force is barely even on our side.” -Jim Lehrer

    Some dude around here has that as his sig line. I find it pretty offensive and I've never been in the service. Seems a bit beyond bar brawls and ribbing to me.

    Anyway, I thought this was as good a place as any to bring that up.
     
  8. Unk

    Unk

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    Uh, saw something similar but instead of

    "Warm regards,
    GOD"

    it was "Semper Fi

    GOD"`

    Just an old soldier here.
     
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2012
  9. dango

    dango

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    Easy , that would be the (GAY) branch of (Slap me once and I shall slap you Twice) unit , French cook and pink boxers optional.

    :supergrin:
     
  10. mjkeat

    mjkeat

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    Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk 2
     
  11. devildog2067

    devildog2067

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    I figured there was no puddle pirate in this joke because the Coast Guard doesn't really count as a branch of the military...


    :whistling:
     
  12. Rabbi

    Rabbi The Bombdiggity Lifetime Member

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    That might be true....but at least the Coast Guard doesnt *count* like the Marines do...Taking off their shoes to get to...oh, say, about 19!
     
  13. HollowHead

    HollowHead Firm member

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    4 pm in military time...

    Army: 1600
    Navy: 6 bells
    Air Force: Cocktail hour
    Marines: The big hand is on the twelve and the little hand is on the four.

    HH
     
  14. Clutch Cargo

    Clutch Cargo Amsterdam Haze

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    The happy branch?
     
  15. Javelin

    Javelin Got Glock? Silver Member

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    There is Infantry.





    Or your job is to support the Infantry.
     
  16. AK_Stick

    AK_Stick AAAMAD

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    Because they're not in the military.
     
  17. G29Reload

    G29Reload Tread Lightly

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    Didn't seem to matter in wartime.

    THere are cruisers with 5" guns.

    They have sunk submarines. One boat even rammed one to get the job done.

    Approach our Coast in war, and they will fight.

    They're also deployed overseas for port security, in the Gulf and Japan.

    I wouldnt f#$% with them. They're pretty damn good.

    It does remind me of a joke.

    Old episode of Cheers, I think.

    One of the player's father was coming to visit them at the bar and hadnt seem them in years. An old salt Chief with hash marks running up his arms.

    Might have been Cliff, has a seat at the bar next to him. "So you're in the Navy…I had a great time when I was in the Coast Guard".

    Old Salt: "You must be pretty proud, Miss."

    :rofl:
     
  18. Batesmotel

    Batesmotel

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    That assumes the Marine in question has shot off only one of his toes.

    BTW Never ask a Marine with a loaded weapon to do subtraction. :whistling:
     
  19. G29Reload

    G29Reload Tread Lightly

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    Never served, but I hear tales.

    Submariners have the best galley. They eat better than every other branch of the service and rest of the Navy.

    They may be the safest branch, though if something does go wrong at depth, well that's a pretty horrible death.

    They refer to all surface ships as "targets". :rofl:

    Air Force officers are supposed to have the nicest golf courses.

    All fliers seem to have pretty good short of being shot down.

    Any service that doesn't have to deal with mud is probably a good bet. Fliers, submariners, navy for the most part.

    Marines, have my best wishes and thanks for what they go thru on our behalf. But man, it sounds brutal and i have seen FMJ several times :supergrin: Grunts I've spoken with say its pretty accurate and we all know R Lee was the real deal.
     
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2012
  20. professorpinki

    professorpinki Bumbling idjit

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    Ears Open Eyeballs Click is better.

    Also, SERE is for fliers. Ergo, mud.