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Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by lethal tupperwa, Dec 6, 2003.

  1. lethal tupperwa

    lethal tupperwa

    Aug 20, 2002
    A Catholic priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a rabbi all served as
    chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They
    would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
    One day,
    someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really that hard. A
    challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they
    decided to
    do a seven-day experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a
    bear and preach to it. Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the

    Father O'Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has
    various bandages, goes first. "Welllll," he says, in a fine Irish brogue,
    "Ey wint oot into th' wooods to fynd me a bearr. Oond when Ey fund him, Ey
    began to rread to him from the Baltimore Catechism. Welll, thet bearr
    wanted naught to do wi' me und begun to slap me aboot. So I quick grrabbed
    me holy water and, THE SAINTS BE PRAISED, he became as gentle as a lamb. The
    bishop is cooming oot next wik to give him fierst communion und

    Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both
    legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he
    proclaimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle... WE DUNK!
    I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to him from God's
    space the HOOOOULY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. I SAY
    NO! He wanted NOTHING to do with me. So I took HOOOULD of him and we began
    to wrassle. We wrassled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we
    come to a crick. So I quick DUNK him and BAPTIZE his hairy soul. An' jus
    like you sez, he wuz gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the week in
    fellowship, feasting on God's HOOOOULY word."

    They both look down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was
    in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of
    The rabbi looks up and says, "Oy! The preaching was easy, but the bear did
    get a bit touchy about the circumcision