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Bar Monkey

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by xcrewman, Jun 21, 2002.

  1. xcrewman

    xcrewman Desk Jockey

    Jul 18, 2001
    Death Valley, CA
    A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it the monkey is running wild. The monkey jumps up on the pool table and grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.

    The bartender is livid and says to the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"

    "No. What did that stupid shEtZ do this time?" says the patron.

    "Well, he just swallowed the cue ball off the pool table, whole" says the bartender.

    "Yeah, well I hope it kills the FUDGER because he's been driving me nuts" says the patron.

    The guy finishes his drink and leaves.

    Two weeks later he comes back with the monkey. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running wild around the bar again. While the man is drinking his drink, the monkey finds some peanuts on the bar. He grabs one, sticks it up his RECTUM, then pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted.

    "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.

    "What now?" responds the patron. "Well, he stuck a peanut up his RECTUM, then pulled it out and ate it" says the bartender.

    "Well, what do you expect?" replied the patron. "Ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!!!"

  2. AC37

    AC37 SystemicAnomaly

    Dec 12, 2000
    Provo, UT
    LMAO!!! ;f ;a ;i
  3. 380Shooter

    380Shooter Marksman

    Jul 10, 2001
    That is funny and... true!

    In Brazil there is one species of monkey (I can't remember the name of the species, but we have one of those in the local zoo) that does exactly that.
  4. DWavs

    DWavs Moderator Moderator

    Feb 10, 2000