A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day. He sat down next to a priest. The drunk's shirt was stained, his face was full of bright red lipstick, and he had a half empty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket. He opened his newspaper and started reading. A couple of minutes later, he asked the priest, "Father, what causes arthritis"? "Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and contempt for your fellow man. "Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered and returned to reading his paper. The priest, thinking about what he said, turned to the man and apologized. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" "I don't have arthritis, Father, but I just read in the paper that the Pope has it."