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Are we raising a culture of losers? (no pictures)

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by ysr_racer, Jan 24, 2013.

  1. Fishawk

    Fishawk Fishawk

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    SW Washinton
    If someonne showed up with there mom in tow its hard too fathom the interview would even think about giving him a job.
     
  2. Javelin377

    Javelin377

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    I work with one that is 25 and he literally couldn't go get his own birdseed for the feeder in his front yard. Well not really his yard. His parents own the house.
     

  3. Mrs.Cicero

    Mrs.Cicero Wayward Member

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    far from home
    I don't get it either. I was raised on the "You turn 18, you are out of here and on your own," parental theory. It worked great. I might let my kids stay longer than that, but only if they are going to school and helping on the farm-ette, and I need the help, and they don't irritate me too much. No one will ever mistake me for a helicopter. Consider me eagle-mom instead. "You're hungry? well, I guess you'd better figure out how to fly out of this nest then, 'cause I'm done bringing you dinner..."
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2013
  4. Cain8768

    Cain8768

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    I know exactly what everyone is saying here. I am 25 years old, bought my first "starter home" at 21 right our of college, have been married for 2 years, saved to build our new home and moved in this past June, and we are now expecting our first son.

    I have friends who still rely on their parents for everything. Most have just moved out of their parents in the last couple of years. Most of them have nicer cars and clothes and can take vacations more often because they have no responsibility. However, I do not get jealous because I know that I paid for everything and made my own way without any money from my parents. It feels good to be independent when I see everyone else running to mommy when they need something.
     
  5. Of Course, I left home at 18, never to return except for a visit and I cannot EVER remember asking her for anything after I left home.

    My daughter, I don't know but I think she spoils my 2 grandsons (ages 21 and 22) so much that they just let her and take advantage of everyhing offered including housing, food, clothes, laundry, car, etc. She just does not want to let go and is happy to have them around and dependent on her. Someday, that plan will come back to haunt her, I am sure.

    I would be ashamed to be dependent on my parents and living with them at that age but, my daughter and son-in-law make a lot of money and those boys would not come close to the lifestyle they have living at home having mommy care for them so .... why leave? Kids today feel no shame staying home and living off their parents, especially if the parents standard of living is relatively high.

    I am glad they live about 250 miles from me now as I think I would have to say something if they were around me all the time.
     
  6. janice6

    janice6 Silver Member

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    minnesota
    Modern society has made dependency on others more acceptable to our peers, and turning individual self confidence into an arrogant and threatening trait. It is now socially acceptable to survey your friends and family to critique each and every decision. No matter how trivial. It isn't with a concern to make the right decision, it is more-so to ensure that these people, your friends and family, see you as wanting/ needing them and necessary to you, so you will have a good socially acceptable image and a feeling of "security by belonging".

    The desire for approval from others is so important now, that it is swamping out the old need to be self reliant and confident in you own abilities. That you feel you really do not need others to contribute to your personal life determining decisions, as they pertain to your future. The change to dependency leaves no room for Independence.

    Society in this modern age places more emphasis on being "liked" and having the approval of your peers, than being capable of independent thought and decisions. If you advocate self reliance and determination, you are viewed as a loner and non-conformer, and pushed away from the "group" because they no longer feel you need them. It used to be called growing up, and maturity.

    Part of this problem is that the "other people" in your social circle want/need to "help" you make your personal decisions. This make them feel needed, wanted, gives them value and makes them feel more secure in "their" relationship with others. these are the same forces in play as when you were children, and needed the approval of your "group". Immaturity.

    These same people may themselves, be incapable of making decisive changes to their own lives, but in telling their peers how to live their lives, they feel some degree of confidence and authority ,by making decisions for others that they are almost incapable of making for themselves.

    Remember, it is always easier to tell someone else how to solve their problems, than to solve your own. If you are wrong about your advice to other people, it has no adverse impact on your life. If, however, you are wrong about the decision to solve problems in your life, you have to live with the consequences. This may bring about another episode of whining and wringing of hands when you could be blameless, by saying others made the decision for you and it was their fault, not yours. No personal responsibility.

    If you are self confident and decisive, you may make a bad decision about your own life yet be able to say you did the best you could at the time with the information available, and go on to rectify the result.

    This trait to accept responsibility for making the wrong decision, or a decision with an unintended adverse result, and then simply set about to correct it, based on new information, is self confidence. The ability to improve personal judgment calls and learn from mistakes is what used to be admired, rather than wallow in self pity and plead for other to solve your problems for you, as is the norm now.

    We are going the way of the old Asian culture of not being different from your peers and not being unique in society, don't stand out. Being acceptable is more important than being you. Less problems for you if you are no different than everyone else.

    Being different and making our own decisions, even though they may sometimes be wrong, is what makes us the unique individuals we are. This is how we survived and built this one-of-a-kind Nation.

    Now we may be seeing our uniqueness going away in favor of togetherness. Let someone else solve our problems for us.

    Yeah, I may be full of it, but that's me.
     
  7. elsolo

    elsolo

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    socal
    Everybody is a winner, all kids get a trophy, we don't keep score in youth athletics, everybody is special just for being themselves, everybody is unique, blah blah crap.

    You see, they are winners just for waking up in the morning and breathing. No need to achieve, you don't need to do anything better than the next guy, the world owes you a lifetime of favors for being so special.

    I would get a job and move out of mom's basement, but they are so unfair at "jobs". They base your value on how good you do your work, how skilled you are, and they don't even take into account how special I am and how blessed they are just to have me show up. It hurts my feelings to be treated like that, like some second class regular person.
     
  8. Grabbrass

    Grabbrass

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    Almost Heaven
    My 20 year old came home from his fourth semester of terrible grades in college. I sat him down, reminded him of the ultimatum I laid on him before his fourth semester had started, and told him he was done unless he could find a way to pay for all of it himself. He leaves March 19 for Air Force basic training.

    One less loser. At least I hope.
     
  9. Yes we are, the great society helped proliferate the rate that losers breed...
     
  10. Bren

    Bren NRA Life Member

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    Jan 16, 2005
    Kentucky
    Yep, that's about it.
     
  11. Tackle

    Tackle

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    I'm 22. Been on my own since 20.

    I have friends that are 24-27 that live at home. Parents pay car insurance, medical insurance, phone, do their laundry and make them supper.

    Makes me sad.
     
  12. HollowHead

    HollowHead Firm member

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    Where the buffalo roam
    You see it here on this site all the time with the endless, "What car should I buy my kid?" threads. HH
     
  13. Hines57

    Hines57 Simple Member

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    On the road
    Crap. I forgot to check with GT about how often I could call and talk to my mom.


    What was I thinking?

    .
     
  14. concretefuzzynuts

    concretefuzzynuts Brew Crew

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    PNW
    It has always been that way but it has really gotten worse recently.

    We live in interesting times.
     
  15. Dennis in MA

    Dennis in MA Get off my lawn

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    Taunton, MA
    WWII didn't make them that generation, the Depression did. They weren't great, they were molded that way by a society that didn't hand them squat.

    You get what you "pay" for. Most of these 20-somethings spent the majority of their years with a Republican controlled White House and a ton of developmental years with a Republican majority in Congress. They ALSO were born into the greatest economic boon (the 90's) we had ever seen and assume it's a birthright thing.
     
  16. dpadams6

    dpadams6

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    Absolutely true. We, as parents, are supposed to teach our children until adulthood, and then send them off into the world. Parents do not do any good for their children TO ALLOW THEM to be dependant on mommy and daddy. And this is the future leaders of this country? God help us.
     
  17. devildog2067

    devildog2067

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    Chicago
    This.

    Yes, some things are different now than they were, but lots of things are the same.

    Yes, we're raising a lot of losers, but we're raising a lot of good folks too. Honestly that's always been true.
     
  18. devildog2067

    devildog2067

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    Chicago
    Like General McArthur's mom, who moved into a hotel near West Point to be near her boy when he went to Hudson High?

    "Helicopter parents" aren't new. What's new is cell phones and Facebook.
     
  19. devildog2067

    devildog2067

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    Chicago
    I'm not that much older, and if I asked my parents to do something like this for me they would probably die laughing.

    Idiots aren't new. They've always been around. 50 years ago, the mom and daughter would both still have been worthless, there just wouldn't have been FedEx.
     
  20. GRIMLET

    GRIMLET Deceased

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    Dec 29, 2011
    I get so tired of the whole greatest generation stuff.

    There is no way to compare a person born then and now.

    Just think how the internet, television and freedom of expression would have changed those back then.

    Greatest generation?
    No.

    Actually, I could say more but I am being civil.






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