close

Privacy guaranteed - Your email is not shared with anyone.

Anyone else think maybe they won't ever have kids?

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by IndianaMatt, Feb 22, 2012.

  1. IndianaMatt

    IndianaMatt

    3,622
    41
    Jul 8, 2008
    Wife and I were talking the other day about future plans, trying to figure out when a baby could fit into it all. We're 30 and 31; career-driven, and looking to travel and perhaps move around the country a bit. Those plans seem complicated with a screaming child in the background.

    All of a sudden, we're like, "What's the point of having a kid anyway? So she can drain you emotionally and financially and grow up to hate you? Aren't there enough humans on this earth?"
     
  2. Viper16

    Viper16

    1,401
    18
    Apr 2, 2007
    Oklahoma
    Those are interesting assumptions of the result of having a child. emotionally, financially, and hated in the end. It looks as though you both have made up your mind and chosen not have children. While your post came off kind of self-centered and selfish, I understand you are just conveying your thoughts. Some families have children and some do not. I respect that.

    I am still young (26yo) and feel that you will never financially be ready for a kid, unless your a millionaire, and that emotions will definitely change once you have a kid. Emotions will change for the better. One day my wife and I will feel the want to have a baby, to nurture it, to teach it, to care for it, and when that time comes we will both know. I think it will be very exciting to teach a new human being all that I know and how to care for others in the world we live.

    Kudos for seeing that you do not want a child in your life before and not finding out after you have already had a kid.
     

  3. G20Mark

    G20Mark

    274
    0
    Nov 11, 2008
    Oregon
    Good for you two that you have met and married. Now go get a snip job.


    Mark
     
  4. KiloBravo

    KiloBravo NRA Life Member

    As of right now, children are not in the immediate future for me, (I hope.) *Knocking on wood*

    I will admit the reason for not wanting kids right now is because I am selfish. I am 24 years old, and I will hopefully be starting the training for my dream career this June, if all goes as planned. That career may require my fiance and I to move to another part of the state. I also plan to pick up as many OT hours as possible once I get on the job. I also don't want to spend on any disposable income on anybody other than myself, my fiance, and my dog.

    For the reasons above, I can say that I am not interested in children for now.
     
  5. SiberianErik

    SiberianErik

    1,269
    8
    Feb 9, 2009
     
  6. edcrosbys

    edcrosbys

    977
    2
    Aug 22, 2007
    VA
    Kids aren't for everyone!

    However, if you believe they "drain you emotionally and financially" while "growing up to hate you", you might need some professional assistance to show you what a healthy family looks like.
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2012
  7. F350

    F350

    2,771
    801
    Feb 3, 2005
    The Wyoming Plains
    Well; I'm almost 60, never had any kids and doesn't seem likely at this point.
     
  8. SiberianErik

    SiberianErik

    1,269
    8
    Feb 9, 2009
    lol ya think..
     
  9. Bren

    Bren NRA Life Member

    44,030
    11,959
    Jan 16, 2005
    Kentucky
    That's my thought - whay would a person be trying to figure out how to fit in a kid to begin with? My wife and I have no doubt that we'd as soon have cancer - it's less expensive and won't last as long.

    I have asked several people to explain the benefit of having children, but nobody has ever given me a rational answer. Even the tax break doesn't hold up. They usually start with "I love my children" and seem to be trying to convince themselvbes, while ignoring the fact that they decided to have the children before they knew or loved them (either that, or they only love them because they are their children, which doesn't make it worth much).
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2012
  10. My wife and I waited until I was out of law school, in an established career, and mature enough to handle the responsibility. I was 35 and she 31. Even then, we only planned on having one, but as things turned out, ended up with three (we got a two for one deal with twin boys). We are done now and have had a little procedure to make sure we get no more surprises.
    Let me tell you, the effort that goes into raising children correctly is mind blowing. It is not something to be taken lightly. But the first time my little girl looked up at me and said "daddy, you're the best dad in the world," it was all worth it. They are truly a blessing.
    On the other hand, my wife and I joke daily about how great it would be without the family obligations and responsibilities, i.e. more travel, free time, and money.
     
  11. M2 Carbine

    M2 Carbine

    22,832
    7,677
    Dec 21, 2002
    Texas
    When I was younger and said I (and my Wife) don't want kids, people would say, You will regret not having kids.


    Never had kids and I don't regret it one little bit.
    Having kids because you are "supposed to" is one of the dumbest things people can do in their life.
     
  12. RMTactical

    RMTactical www.AR15pro.net CLM

    12,603
    16
    Oct 7, 2000
    Behind an AR-15
    My wife and I are debating whether or not to have a 4th...
     
  13. I kind of feel like I will....but after watching the many of my friends who have recently had children I am really not feeling it right now. I know the parents will chime in with "you'll feel different when you have one" but I've recently watched a whole lot of young, career climbing people with very active personal lives become hermits with no interests other than posting pictures of their babies on facebook.
     
  14. byf43

    byf43 NRA Life Member

    11,861
    471
    Apr 13, 2006
    Southern Maryland
    At my age . . . I don't want any MORE kids!

    We've got four.

    Boy - age 31
    Girl - age 30
    Girl - age 20
    Boy - age 16


    We lost two kids. These boys would be 23 and 21 if they had lived.


    No man should have to bury his children.


    If you keep putting off having kids, until you can 'afford them', you'll never have kids.
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2012
  15. I doubt that my fiancee and I will ever have any kids. Not neccessarly because of lack of desire, but because of age and her time related crazyness.

    My parents have had a nasty divorce and althoug her parents are still happily married they both had a bad marriage and nasty divorce before meeting.

    She was greatly concerened that we don't end up like that and wanted to make sure we don't go to fast. We dated 5 years before being engaged, and have been engaged for a year. We are gonna tie the knot latter in the year. Then she wants to wait 2-3 years for a kid.

    I can underatand her logic for it. My parents, and both her parents original marriages within 2 years of meeting, and divorced within 3 of the wedding. Statistically speaking couples that date for 5 years before being married are for less likely to divorce.

    She also happens to be a statistician so these kinds of thongs are really important to her. I don't mind waiting to get hitched, she's worth it :)

    All that said though, following out that timeline that would put her having a kid in her late 30s. While we should (hopefully) have many years left after that, its pretty old for a woman to have a child.

    It happens though, her mother was about that age when she was born and my grandmother had my uncle when she was 35, and that was in the 70s.

    Sent from my PC36100 using Tapatalk
     
  16. Hines57

    Hines57 Simple Member

    5,796
    1,101
    Jan 17, 2001
    On the road
    Sounds like he has a very mature mindset, and unlike you, he doesn't come across like a D-Bag when he states it.
     
  17. stolenphot0

    stolenphot0 RTF2 Addict

    5,432
    31
    Jan 26, 2012
    Kettering, OH
    Exactly.

    I won't bash you for not wanting kids, I will thank you. Kids aren't for everyone.

    I know plenty of active 30-somethings with kids that take them hiking and travel everywhere with them. I take my kids everywhere with me. I enjoy them and they love me and I love them. I love their friends and treat them as my own when they come to play. When my first daughter was 6 weeks old I took her on road trips with me on weekends.

    Sure there will probably come a time where they think they hate me, but all kids go through that as they emotionally mature. If they hate you for life, then you failed as a parent, they didn't fail as a child.
     
  18. JASV.17

    JASV.17 Prime Example

    4,913
    0
    Jul 10, 2007
    I sat for awhile thinking of where to start, but I'm at a loss for words. I can't possibly think of a way to start and explain the 'benefits' of my children.

    It's just that amazing and awesome.
     
  19. Viper16

    Viper16

    1,401
    18
    Apr 2, 2007
    Oklahoma
    I have seen that with my close family. My sisters got married had kids and they became hermits. Never leave the house unless its a kid thing. Great!...I have a new fear of having a kid! :faint:
     
  20. You have plenty of time. Didn't Anthony Quinn have a child at 78 with his secretary?