Probably going to regret this thread in the morning... FYI I am currently more intoxicated than I've been in a while. Started with something a female friend told me today... and then I had some flashbacks (my PTSS pops up about once every month or two), and now I'm under the influence... anyway: I joined my current job thinking I'd be serving my country and getting things done for America (I'm on a disaster response team). Sad to say I've spent more time doing things to get funding for the program than I have helping people. I spent 5 years riding the ding-ding and the gut bucket prior to getting this job, and I'll tell you I feel like I'm cheating all my dead brothers and sisters by essentially doing an "easy" job while all my fellow firefighters back home are putting their lives on the line every day. My proudest moment in the 6 months I've had this job happened while I was off duty; I walked out of a chinese restaurant and saw a cop car sitting in the middle of the highway with one vehicle in front of it. I walked over to investigate, and upon getting closer saw a kid lying on the ground completely unresponsive. I flashed my badge, took control of the scene, and kept him breathing until FD/EMS showed up and took control from me. Having the kid's mother look me in the eyes and say "thank you" was probably the proudest I felt in a long time, and certainly the best thing I've done since I took this new job. Long story short, even though I signed a 1 year contract, I'm tempted to quit my job and go back to riding the truck. I miss helping people. I can't even join a volley department and ride calls on my days off (all 6 i have a month) due to various rules and restrictions, in addition to personal complications and scheduling issues. Pretty much I feel useless. Anyone else here gotten a non fire/ems job and felt the same way? Feedback appreciated.