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And you think you had problems with computers!

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by lethal tupperwa, Feb 12, 2003.

  1. lethal tupperwa

    lethal tupperwa

    8,673
    602
    Aug 20, 2002
    Virginia
    I pass this along with reservations. After spending a number of years
    associated with computers I came to the conclusion that a "computer" is NEXT
    TO the DUMBEST THING IN THE WORLD. A computer has no mind of it's own.
    SOMEONE has to tell it EVERYTHING to do. I repeat "A COMPUTER IS NEXT TO -
    THE DUMBEST THING IN THE WORLD!" Take an "out of body" trek and look upon
    the scene wherein YOU are sitting next to your computer. I repeat "A
    COMPUTER IS NEXT TO - THE DUMBEST THING IN THE WORLD!" Expand this scene to
    include EVERY COMPUTER IN USE IN THE WORLD.
    The phrase below Garbage in...... garbage out....... explains a great deal
    more than is apparent. A computer can process ONLY what is put into it and
    can process THAT only as well as the programmer has informed it to do. The
    term "A COMPUTER IS NEXT TO - THE DUMBEST THING IN THE WORLD!" again comes
    into view. A computer must be "INSTRUCTED" to do EVERY SINGLE THING it does.
    That is the ONLY THING a computer can do. True it can do what it is told
    much faster than any human can do it but still, it is doing ONLY WHAT it is
    told to do. It can add, subtract, multiply and divide many times faster
    than it takes to write these phrases down.
    Each time it is required to add, subtract, multiply or divide, it MUST BE
    INSTRUCTED to do so. It can - - if instructed to do so - - check the
    operations to determine if there was a possibility - - due to a circuit
    malfunction - - an error incurred during that add, subtract, multiply or
    divide. Often it can make a correction EVEN IF A CIRCUIT ERROR DID OCCUR,
    but it must be told to do so.
    With that in mind, I reluctantly forward that which I received concerning
    "COMPUTER ERROR" and let you determine wherein the fault lies.

    Subject: To Err Is Human, But....

    Garbage in...... garbage out.......

    TO ERR IS HUMAN, BUT...(COMPUTER ERROR)
    Sometimes all you can do is laugh.

    I a man living in Newton, Massachusetts received a bill on his as yet unused
    credit card stating that he owed $0.00. He threw it away. In April he
    received another and tossed that one, too. The following month the credit
    card company sent him a nasty note stating they were going to cancel his
    card if he didn't send them $0.00.

    In retrospect, he probably should have let them do that. Instead he called
    the company and was informed that (are you ready for this?) the problem was
    the result of a computer error. They told him they'd take care of it.

    The following month he reasoned that, if other charges appeared on the card,
    then it would put an end to his ridiculous predicament. Besides, they
    assured him the problem would