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Alternate word meanings.......

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by WINGS, Jan 12, 2007.

  1. WINGS


    May 20, 2006
    New Hampshire

    Once again, the Washington Post has published the winning submissions to
    its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate
    meanings for common words. The winners are:

    1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

    2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

    3 . Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

    4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

    5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

    6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
    answer the door in your nightgown.

    7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

    8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

    9. Flatulence (n.), emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run
    over by a steamroller.

    10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

    11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

    12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by

    13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

    14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with

    15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), the belief that, when you die, your soul flies
    up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

    16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by
    Jewish men.
  2. silky


    Feb 1, 2005
    Plano, TX
    Does George Carlin know that the Wa Post is stealing his jokes? From 30 years ago!