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a story passed along to me

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by wanderlust, Sep 17, 2002.

  1. wanderlust

    wanderlust

    52
    0
    Sep 15, 2002
    Indiana
    I Love Mustard
    (This is a true story.)

    If you have children you will probably relate to this

    As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick slab
    of ham, a fresh bun, crisp lettuce and plenty of
    expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard.

    The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I
    carried it to the picnic table in our backyard, picked
    it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife
    suddenly at my side. "Hold Johnny (our six-week-old
    son) while I get my sandwich," she said.

    I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder
    and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I
    noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.

    I love mustard.

    I had no napkin.

    I licked it off.

    It was not mustard.

    No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first
    and only time I have sprinted with my tongue
    protruding. With a washcloth in each hand I did the
    sort of routine shoeshine boys do, only I did it on my
    tongue.

    Later (after she stopped crying from laughing so hard)
    my wife said, "Now you know why they call that
    mustard 'Poupon.'"
     
  2. Jazz5

    Jazz5

    219
    0
    Mar 25, 2002
    South Alabama
    Man, that is bad!! I've got two little ones myself and have had some nasty things happen. But to expect mustard and get THAT! ;0