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A Rude Guy's Comments

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Mrs Glockrunner, Jun 1, 2011.

  1. *My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 am this morning, can you believe that..... 2:30 am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.*

    *Man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead" The operator says how do you know? He says "The $ex is the same but the ironing is building up!*

    *My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.*

    *Went for my routine check up today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my rear! Do you think I should change dentists?*

    *A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheel chair.*

    *I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening. "

    *My wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the thrift shop to get all her clothes back.*