Glock Talk banner

A note to all you phonies

19K views 100 replies 77 participants last post by  Turn4811 
#1 ·
There were many, many times more cooks in Vietnam than special forces types; just when I think I've met every special forces member to serve in Vietnam I manage to meet another but I've yet to meet a single cook. Just a little note to let all you phonies in on a little secret: You can't talk for more than 2 minutes (no exaggeration) without giving yourself away no matter how many Tom Clancy novels you've read. I have a little more trouble spotting the phonies from the Vietnam era as that's not my generation but if you're talking 1980 to present day I've no trouble at all spotting you. Most veterans are too polite to say anything as were hesitant to question another man's military service but I'm getting a little tired of it. Military speech is so different from civilian speech it ought to be considered a foreign language but if you're not a native speaker there's no way to learn. There's nothing dishonorable about having not served (well, usually) so I really don't understand why someone would lie, yet I catch people quite often; I seldom say anything. I'd much rather hear someone tell me honest stories about the harrowing moments of his finance unit than a ridiculous, error laden story about what a hardcore killer he is. The older I get the less patience I seem to have w/ B.S. so if you're a phony who lives near K.C. and you're going to insist on living a fantasy I hope you either don't meet me or are prepared to answer some embarrassing questions. By the way, I'm not, nor have I ever been a special forces member.
 
See less See more
#90 ·
There was a while that I didn't know what an MOS was. I had an AFSC (1115N)

:wavey:
 
#3 ·
Well if they were Air Force, it'd be a legitimate question, since they don't have MOS's.....they have AFSC's. (Air Force Specialty Code).

Most of us would know what you mean though, and a guy telling me he is an 0311 or 18D I can translate, where as me telling them i'm a 3PO51 generally makes them go "WTF?"
 
#7 ·
I have never been in the military My son and son in law in the army. They have both done tours in afghanistan and iraq. And is true military talk is way different than english. When we get together and talk about the army I have no idea what they're talking about.

Outdoor Hub mobile, the outdoor information engine
 
#84 · (Edited)
I recently read a series of military-themed zombie books, written by a Soldier. One of the reviews on Amazon was complaining that non-military readers couldn't understand what the guys in the story were talking about - there was even a glossary of military terms in each book.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Fred Hansen
#8 ·
is true military talk is way different than english.
Many occupations/sub cultures have their own terminology. Military terms, short hand, lingo, phrases, etc can be really hard to pick up for a civilian (not impossible) because we lived it every day for years upon years. Just like with foreign languages it takes time to learn and understand.

If I walked into a wall street brokerage firm, Id have no idea the kinda of shorthand they use and Id be spotted as a newbie, outsider or never was in a heart beat. Just like you can tell if someones from a certain are and then after talking with them you realize they were never born, grew up or spent any significant time in that place.








:50cal:
 
#9 ·
I guess this thread is not the place to tell you about my secret missions into Laos and Cambodia during the Vietnam War.

Or how I'm the only person to have ever been a member of Army Special Forces, Marine Recon, USAF ParaRescue and Navy Seals.

Not at the same time, but I was in a special super secret program that allowed me to be a member of all these units one after the other.

After my time with the US military, I joined the British military where I was a member of the SAS and the Royal Marines.
Additionally I served a short tour with the intelligence unit called MI-6.

Today I work as a super secret, double undercover hitman for the CIA and the KGB both.

But since none of you will believe me...:tongueout:
 
#11 ·
I guess I talk to honorable veterans.

One notable exception was recently a guy in his early 40s telling me he was in combat in Viet Nam. I called BS and I hope I wasn't wrong. I just wasn't aware of many 8 year old American combat troops. If he ever was in the military, I'll bet it wasn't a job that involved math.

The guy that was the best man at my wedding was on a carrier fueling aircraft. Not a glamorous job, but a necessary one. He could claim to be a SEAL. It seems that there are thousands of ex SEALS out there since team 6 killed OBL.

Other honorable vets I know -

Cousin1 - tried to get out of VietNam by joining the CG. He ended up on a patrol boat in Viet Nam. Okay, he tried to get out of it but when he was sent, he did what was required.
Cousin2 - US Army COOK and not ashamed of it.
Cousin3 - Served on a carrier. He told me he was a carpenter. I didn't know that a carrier needed a full time carpenter. Maybe he was a SEAL? No... anyone I could best in a wrestling match was not SEAL material.
Neighbor - Army motor pool officer. In fact, he is quite a good mechanic. In the army, he was good at shuffling paper work and signing things.
Coworker1- Marine electronics specialist
Coworker2- Army staff assistant. Spent most of his time driving an officer around and doing his gopher work.
Coworker3- Marine infantry. He's disappointed that he was not deployed to a combat zone, but he tells the truth.
Nephew - Air Force - served two tours in Iraq and is still active duty. He builds shipping crates around large pieces of hardware so it can be transported.

I'm sure I could come up with more examples of honorable vets who weren't in combat.

These men served in the way that the brass thought they would be most valuable to the military. For every man that is out there being shot at, there are a bunch more that provide support behind the lines. These are important and necessary jobs. Without the people behind the lines, the guys in combat won't last long. Sometimes the guys that are supposed to be behind the lines get shot at too.

I have the deepest respect for anyone that puts their life on the line for their country. When you join the military you don't know what you are going to be doing or where they are going to send you.

I have no less respect for those that served behind the lines, as long as they don't lie about it.
 
#12 ·
I didn't do anything especially noteworthy either and have never claimed to. I don't see anything dishonorable about having served in any capacity or having not served (most the time) for that matter. The cooks kinda get a bad rap. Nobody in the army works harder than the cooks and most the time the food's pretty good. Still, nothing bores me more than listening to a 20 minute story I knew was a total lie 4-6 words after it started; my patience is wearing a little thin. Like I said, I have a little tougher time spotting the one's from the Vietnam era because (since I wasn't there) I'm not familiar w/ the places and some of the language is different. Still, a mil is the same now as it was in 1940.
 
#13 ·
I guess this thread is not the place to tell you about my secret missions into Laos and Cambodia during the Vietnam War.

Or how I'm the only person to have ever been a member of Army Special Forces, Marine Recon, USAF ParaRescue and Navy Seals.

Not at the same time, but I was in a special super secret program that allowed me to be a member of all these units one after the other.

After my time with the US military, I joined the British military where I was a member of the SAS and the Royal Marines.
Additionally I served a short tour with the intelligence unit called MI-6.

Today I work as a super secret, double undercover hitman for the CIA and the KGB both.

But since none of you will believe me...:tongueout:
Wow, you too!
 
#14 ·
I talked to people who said they were Vets and I would ask them "What was your MOS'. Be surprised how many asked What is that. :faint: Also like to ask when did they got their DD214 medal.
I like to ask, "Ever fire a belt fed DD214?"

Too many times to count, I get Yes as a answer.

:faint:
 
#79 ·
Me, too. I was British Army from 1960 to 1971. serving with Royal Signals. You would forget your name before your Army number but I'm constantly coming across people who "can't remember theirs". I, too, remember everything that happened to me then. Mind you, I do have trouble remembering last week, but that's age for you.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Fred Hansen
#22 ·
I earned my distinguished flying cross bailing out of my stealth fighter over the town they named for me, Long Wang, back in 1967.:rofl::rofl:

To all the true veterens, including my brothers and daughter, my most heartfelt thanks for serving.
 
#25 ·
:rofl: x 3
I can say stuff like that; I was 3rd Lt. for my squad of Samurai Benjo Ditch Death Commandos at M.O.M.A.G Det. 10, Kadena AFB

Every time the rainy season/typhoon(s) flooded the ditches, we bravely used them as our waterslides. We also selflessly kept all the Zoomie/Navy/Marine Air Wing females thoroughly entertained.

Without violating OPSEC, I can show you a sattelite photo of our AO. :supergrin:
(The ditch is visible near the road, between the outer and inner grass strips.)



Somewhere I'm sure I have pics of my 3rd Lt. helmet (a Japanese construction helmet) and our most secret weapon, the Death Tube. The SeaBees and the dudes from PatWing One can attest to the Death Tube's awesome power. Unfortunately, the Zoomie police absconded with it. :rofl:

No hard feelings Zoomies! :wavey:

Thanks to all who served our country honorably. :patriot:
 
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top