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A man brought a very limp dog...........

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by deputydawg558, Jun 5, 2002.

  1. deputydawg558

    deputydawg558

    282
    0
    Jun 1, 2002
    Texas
    A man brought a very limp dog into the veterinary clinic.

    As he laid the dog on the table, Doc Buck pulled out his stethoscope, placing the receptor on the dog's chest.

    After a moment or two, the Doc shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, but your dog has passed away."

    "What?" screamed the man. "How can you tell? You haven't done any testing on him or anything. I want another opinion!"

    With that, Doc turned and left the room. In a few moments, he returned with a Labrador retriever. The Retriever went right to work, sniffing the poor dog on the table and checking him out thoroughly. After a considerable amount of sniffing, the Retriever sadly shook his head and said "Bark."

    The vet then took the Labrador out and returned in a few moments with a cat, which walked around the poor dog several times and then sadly shook his head and said, "Meow." He then jumped off the table and ran out of the room. The vet said, "There's nothing more I can do" and handed the man a bill for $600.

    The dog's owner went postal. "$600! Just to tell me my dog is dead? This is outrageous!"

    Doc shook his head sadly and explained. "If you had taken my word for it, it would have been $50, but with the Lab work and the cat scan............................



    Man I loved that dog!! ;f ;a ;i

    Ooops...should have put this in the Lighter Side......My BAD
     
  2. sooner pete

    sooner pete STOOPS FOR PRES

    926
    0
    Mar 5, 2002
    moore,okla.

  3. deputydawg558

    deputydawg558

    282
    0
    Jun 1, 2002
    Texas
    Thanks, I have always enjoyed "CLEAN" humor over raunchy!!
     
  4. Santa CruZin

    Santa CruZin RIP Mr. Mayor

    9,178
    266
    Jun 19, 2000
    at your moms
    Good one, deputy! Here's my cuss-free joke of the month:

    This guy realized his father was too old to take care of himself anymore, so he found a high-class retirement home for him. After a couple weeks of adjustment, he went to see his dad to see how he's getting along. Dad says "this place is great! They take me anywhere I want to go during the day, the food is excellent and at night they give me a tall glass of fresh orange juice and a Viagra!" The son is bewildered, and goes to see the head nurse. "I can understand the glass of O.J., but my dad says you're giving him Viagra! What's up with that?" The nurse replied, "It's to keep him from rolling out of bed in his sleep."
     
  5. sooner pete

    sooner pete STOOPS FOR PRES

    926
    0
    Mar 5, 2002
    moore,okla.
    CruZin that was a rib tickler too,but what do you do when grandma keeps rollin out a bed. ;d
     
  6. CarlosDJackal

    CarlosDJackal

    1,386
    0
    Dec 10, 2000
    Ok, here is one I heard very recently. I hope nobody takes offense to it. But if does offend anyone, dial 1-800-WAA-AAAH.

    Q: How many French soldiers does it take to defend Paris?

    A: They don't know, because it's never been done!! ;f
     
  7. deputydawg558

    deputydawg558

    282
    0
    Jun 1, 2002
    Texas

    I will have to ponder that one for a while.....anyone got any answers???;a
     
  8. dave1

    dave1 deep cover

    979
    0
    Mar 8, 2002
    reality, more or less


    Carlos,

    Man, that's sooooo......that's sooooo......man, that's sooooo right!
     
  9. saspic

    saspic Howdy Y'all! CLM

    497
    0
    Jan 20, 2002
    San Antonio
    Give another Viagra to grandpa.