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A good pun is it's own reward

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by vafish, Sep 18, 2004.

  1. A good pun is its own reword!

    Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.

    A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.

    Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

    A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

    Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

    I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

    If electricity comes from electrons ... does that mean that morality comes from morons?

    Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.

    A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

    Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

    Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?

    Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

    Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

    A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

    Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

    A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumour.

    Without geometry, life is pointless.

    When you dream in colour, it's a pigment of your imagination.

    Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

    Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.

    When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

    A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

    What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).

    A backwards poet writes inverse.

    In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

    She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.

    A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

    If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

    With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

    Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

    When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

    The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

    A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in linoleum blown apart.

    You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

    Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

    He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.