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A fsh.

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by ChuteTheMall, Sep 28, 2003.

  1. 1. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you,
    but don't start anything."

    2. A sandwich walks into a bar.
    The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."

    3. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

    4. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says,
    "A beer please...and one for the road."

    5. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love, and get married.
    The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was brilliant.

    6. Two cannibals are eating a clown.
    One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"

    7. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.
    Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
    "I don't believe you," said Dolly.
    "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.

    8. An invisible man marries an invisible woman.
    The kids were nothing to look at either.

    9. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
    One says, "I've lost my electron."
    The other says, "Are you sure?"
    The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

    10. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese.
    And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them.
    It's either my mom or my dad...or, maybe my older brother Colin or my
    younger brother Ho-Cha Chu.
    But I'm pretty sure it's Colin.

    11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't
    find any.

    12. A man regained consciousness in the hospital after a serious
    He shouted, "Doctor, doctor! I can't feel my legs!"
    The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off".

    13. I went to a seafood disco rave last week and pulled a mussel.

    14. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly.
    But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank....
    proving once and! for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it

    15. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
    A fsh.

    16. Two termites walk into a bar.
    One asked, "Is the bar tender here?
  2. Blast

    Blast 'nuff said

    Aug 2, 2002
    NKY/Cincinnati area
    Quotable qoutes and proverbial wisdom
    1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
    2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
    3. I just got a thought. It was unfamilier territory. (Alex;g)
    4. Seen it all, done it all. Can't rememeber most of it. (Alex again;g)
    5. Those who live by the sword, get shot by those who don't.
    6. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. (Definately Chute ;f)
    7. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
    8. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
    9. Pardon my driving, I'm reloading.
    10. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
    11. Just remember... if the world didn't suck we'd all fall off.
    12. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
    13. The things that come to those who wait may be the things left behind by those who got there first.
    14. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
    15. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
    16. I started out with nothing, and still have most of it.
    17. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
    18. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in the dark.

  3. Give a man a fire and he has warmth for a day.
    Set that man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
  4. JHS

    JHS Millennium Member

    Jan 8, 1999
    Goodwell, Okla.
    I don't take nothin' for granite, because that's what they make tomestones out of: Hank the Cowdog, head of ranch security

    If you can't run with the big dogs stay on the porch. Also by Hank
  5. Blast

    Blast 'nuff said

    Aug 2, 2002
    NKY/Cincinnati area
    Acng Lkdf Eihgf Xzsfr Kkuf Njhy Ibjzd Guyx Hkud Tiyr insane jhxzr hvs zsdjhg mjg nbfys nuts kjg hggus logv crazy jhsri disturbed akih nhr xdod.;f
  6. proguncali

    proguncali 1911-2004 CLM

    Mar 14, 2002
    At your Mom's
    If you wanna pee on the Redwoods, you gotta run with the Big Dogs.~ME