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A Few Zen Thoughts

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by MooseJaw, Feb 13, 2003.


  1. MooseJaw

    MooseJaw
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    NRA Lifer
    Silver Member CLM

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2002
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    ..For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously
    >
    > Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
    >
    > A day without sunshine is like, night.
    >
    > On the other hand, you have different fingers.
    >
    > 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
    >
    > 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
    >
    > I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
    >
    > Honk if you love peace and quiet.
    >
    > Remember, half the people you know are below average.
    >
    > He who laughs last thinks slowest.
    >
    > Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
    >
    > The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the
    > cheese.
    >
    > I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
    >
    > Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
    >
    > Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
    >
    > A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
    >
    > Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
    >
    > Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!
    >
    > Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
    >
    > Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
    >
    > If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
    >
    > How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
    >
    > OK, so what's the speed of dark?
    >
    > How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
    >
    > If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
    > something.
    >
    > When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
    >
    > Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
    >
    > Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
    >
    > If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
    >
    > Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
    >
    > What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
    >
    > I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
    >
    > I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
    >
    > Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
    >
    > Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the
    > hell happened.
    >
    > : )