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A fence

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by bachchoy, Mar 26, 2005.

  1. bachchoy

    bachchoy Bond

    275
    0
    Dec 28, 2003
    My Old Kentucky Home.
    >> What do you call
    >> two Mexicans playing basketball?
    >>
    >> Juan on Juan
    >>
    >> Why is divorce so expensive?
    >>
    >> Because it's worth it.
    >>
    >> Why is air a lot like sex?
    >>
    >> Because it's no big deal
    >> unless you're not getting any.
    >>
    >> What's the difference
    >> between a girlfriend and wife?
    >>
    >> 45 lbs.
    >>
    >> What's the difference
    >> between a boyfriend and husband?
    >>
    >> 45 minutes.
    >>
    >> What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
    >>
    >> Through his chest with a sharp knife.
    >>
    >> Why do men want to marry virgins?
    >>
    >> They can't stand criticism.
    >>
    >> Why is it so hard for women to find men
    >> that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
    >>
    >> Because those men already have boyfriends.
    >>
    >> What's the difference between
    >> a new husband and a new dog?
    >>
    >> After a year,
    >> the dog is still excited to see you.
    >>
    >> What makes men chase women
    >> they have no intention of marrying?
    >>
    >> The same urge that makes dogs chase cars
    >> they have no intention of driving.
    >>
    >> A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead
    >> are all in third grade.
    >> Who has the biggest boobs?
    >>
    >> The blonde, because she's 18.
    >>
    >> Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
    >>
    >> Mace will do that to you.
    >>
    >> Why do men find it difficult
    >> to make eye contact when first
    >> meeting a beautiful woman?
    >>
    >> Breasts don't have eyes.
    >>
    >> Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi
    >>
    >> He walks around saying "Yo."
    >>
    >> Why do drivers' education classes
    >> in Redneck schools use the car only on
    >> Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
    >>
    >> Because on Tuesday and Thursday,
    >> the Sex Ed class uses it.
    >>
    >> Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
    >>
    >> A different bar.
    >>
    >> What would you call it when an Italian
    >> has one arm distinctly shorter than the other?
    >>
    >> A speech impediment.
    >>
    >> What does it mean when the flag
    >> at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
    >>
    >> They're hiring.
    >>
    >> What's the difference between
    >> a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
    >>
    >> A southern zoo has a description
    >> of the animal on the front of the cage
    >> along with... "a recipe".
    >>
    >> How do you get a sweet little
    >> 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
    >>
    >> Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady
    >> to yell *BINGO*!
    >>
    >> What's the difference between
    >> a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
    >>
    >> A northern fairytale begins
    >> "Once upon a time..."
    >> A southern fairytale begins
    >> "Y'all ain't gonna believe this ****..."
    >>
    >> Why is there no Disneyland in China?
    >>
    >> No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
    >>
    >> My, my, how times have changed. Years ago...
    >> When 100 white men chased two black men,
    >> we called it the Ku Klux Klan.
    >>
    >> Today they call it the PGA TOUR.