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20 things to do in the mall

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Blitzer, Mar 8, 2007.

  1. Blitzer

    Blitzer Cool Cat

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    Location:
    The communist's play ground of OHIO
    1. In the shoe store, glue shoes to the inside of their shoe boxes.

    2. Steal a key for the escalator control box and make both escalators go up.

    3. Ask the cashier in the clothing store if they have shirts that are size 5,000. When he says that they don't have shirts of that size, ignore him and repeat the question.

    4. Ride the 25 cent rides. When asked why, reply, "Because it's fun."

    5. If there is a fast food restaurant in the mall, buy a hamburger and squish it your face. Then run around the mall screaming "ATTACK OF THE MUTANT HAMBURGERS!" Be sure to scream loudly. After you are done, throw the hamburger at someone and run away.

    6. After #4, beg people for quarters so you can ride the 25 cent rides. Repeat several times.

    7. Buy an extremely large amount of balloons and see how many it takes to make you float to the ceiling.

    8. Chew gum while waiting in line and make lots of gross saliva noises.

    9. Spin around rapidly while singing the ABC's song.

    10. If there is a large trash can, climb in and wait for people to pass by, then jump out, yell "BOO!" and scare the heck out of them.

    11. Before paying the cashier, lick all of the dollar bills, coins or check.

    12. If it is summertime, walk around the store wearing a parka/heavy coat, warm pants and mittens. If it is wintertime, walk around the store with nothing but a swimsuit and socks.

    13. Every so often, kiss random items at the mall including people.

    14. Pretend to be a mannequin at the clothes store.

    15. Burp a lot.

    16. Have a conversation with a computer/TV at the electronics department. End by stalking off with an angry look on your face.

    17. Carry a boom box around and play annoying songs at full volume.

    18. Put a pair of underpants on your head and stare at people.

    19. Glue a working alarm clock to your shirt and ask people what time it is.

    20. With a friend, dress up as the Mario Brothers and jump around the store humming the Super Mario theme song.
     
  2. Aquanewt

    Aquanewt

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    21. Argue with the mall Ninjas until the real police get there and wear their shiny braclets while you go for a ride in the back of their car.
     

  3. The Pontificator

    The Pontificator Angry Samoan

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    and pretend it's the 80's. :upeyes:

    Shades of reality.