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Home defense ideas without a gun

2K views 42 replies 35 participants last post by  SCmasterblaster 
#1 ·
My wife and I are friends with a young lady who has a bad family situation. She can't have a gun because she is less than 21. Even if she was over 21 her father is a felon (mom lied and got him convicted for domestic abuse) and can't have access to a gun. The mom is threatening both of them. She has put a gun to the dad's head in the past so we take the threat seriously.

So, anybody have any good ideas for home defense that don't involve guns? We gave her a can of pepper spray but I am open to other ideas.
 
#5 ·
Under the circumstances, it would seem that the only method to ensure her personal safety, is to run. Just as fast and as far as she can, to get away from her biggest threats.

The people that are a threat to your life are not family, and never were. They are just a reproduction system without compassion. She owes them nothing, if they have no empathy for her.
 
#7 ·
...So, anybody have any good ideas for home defense that don't involve guns? We gave her a can of pepper spray but I am open to other ideas.
Might want to consider Taser's civilian model. If properly deployed, gives the offender a 30 second ride and the potential victim a decent head start to get out of the area.
 
#10 ·
Distance is best. Then get serious training with a contact weapon. Tactics will be essential with such a weapon.

That said, it appears that the potential attacker may show up with a gun. If they do, the contact weapon will be ineffective and your friend will die. Same with any spray or taser. Guns work against guns.
 
#17 ·
You might talk to an attorney. A restraining order can disarm an aggressive person pretty quickly...
I would respectfully suggest not putting too much trust in the effectiveness of such an order.

As an active duty LEO, I've responded to my share of violations of restraining/protective orders. Some of those violations resulted in property damage, injuries, and worse.

Now it is a step that should be considered and maybe even taken. But one needs to understand the limitations of such orders.
 
#12 ·
As soon as she can moving a decent distance would be a great option.
 
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#15 ·
My wife and I are friends with a young lady who has a bad family situation. She can't have a gun because she is less than 21. Even if she was over 21 her father is a felon (mom lied and got him convicted for domestic abuse) and can't have access to a gun. The mom is threatening both of them. She has put a gun to the dad's head in the past so we take the threat seriously.

So, anybody have any good ideas for home defense that don't involve guns? We gave her a can of pepper spray but I am open to other ideas.
carefully review the gun laws in the state...MOST states, you can possess a handgun and even carry (if OC allowed) if you're under 21...you just can't buy one from an FFL. In VA and VT thats how it is. So an 18yo can private sale one, etc
 
#16 ·
As mentioned already, distance, restraining order, a bat, a dog, an alarm system. If she doesn’t wish to leave her dad, then they’ll need to find a way to start again elsewhere. Considering what is at stake, the sacrifice is warranted.

The name of a good attorney in case all else fails and it gets physical.
 
#20 ·
What are you willing to do to help this young woman and her father?

Take them in until they can decide what to do and where to go?
Get them a hotel room?
Get them a weapon?
Help out with court proceedings and LE responses?


One blaring thing that is sticking out at me is that the wife pointed a gun at the father and there was no police response. If someone pointed a gun at me in a threatening manner... the police would be called and I would be gone faster than a blink.
 
#21 ·
If the wife pointed a gun at the father, there could easily be 2 sides to the story. And it wouldn't be unusual for the daughter to not be aware of the other side.
That said, I recently installed a security system by "SimpliSafe". It installs in minutes, and comes with panic buttons that will summon police. It is also extremely inexpensive for a basic system.
A well trained dog is another option, but there is lots of maintenance and liability that goes with that.
 
#23 ·
My wife and I are friends with a young lady who has a bad family situation. She can't have a gun because she is less than 21. Even if she was over 21 her father is a felon (mom lied and got him convicted for domestic abuse) and can't have access to a gun. The mom is threatening both of them. She has put a gun to the dad's head in the past so we take the threat seriously.

So, anybody have any good ideas for home defense that don't involve guns? We gave her a can of pepper spray but I am open to other ideas.
Emergency protective order. In some states after that the sheriff's office can issue an emergency permit. If she is legally in possession I don't see how that can put him in violation of the law. Check first though.
 
#24 ·
she can buy a shotgun at 18. i would suggest it. as far as the DV boyfriend its simple get a locked box and he cannot have the combo to it.

my friend had this issue until his record was cleared. all that had to happen was the weapons had to be locked up and he c ould not know the combo or have the key.
 
#25 ·
You might talk to an attorney. A restraining order can disarm an aggressive person pretty quickly.

PS - That shouldn't be the only measure.
I agree with all of the suggestions to get out of town ASAP.
A restraining order would be a good thing too, but I can tell you for a fact, that It does not always make a situation better at first.

A life long friend of my wife is experiencing that right now. Her Ex had started stalking her, and the lawyers did get a restraining order, It just made matters worse, but he did end up in jail.
Made bail and was right back at it. Back in jail again. Now she is moving two or three hours away and hopefully he won't be able to find here when he manages to get out again.
 
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#27 ·
Totally agree, and like the basic gun laws, when someone is forbibben to have "possession" of a gun, doesn't mean they won't get one and use it.

All it does is maybe put them away a little longer if the lucky thing happens and they get nailed on weapons possession.

In the end, getting as far away as possible has to be a good idea.
 
#26 ·
My wife and I are friends with a young lady who has a bad family situation. She can't have a gun because she is less than 21. Even if she was over 21 her father is a felon (mom lied and got him convicted for domestic abuse) and can't have access to a gun. The mom is threatening both of them. She has put a gun to the dad's head in the past so we take the threat seriously.

So, anybody have any good ideas for home defense that don't involve guns? We gave her a can of pepper spray but I am open to other ideas.
Not sure I am fully understanding this. The father is a felon, so the daughter can't have a gun? That makes zero sense. The father is a felon. The father can't have a gun. The daughter is over the age of 18, she can own a long gun. A shotgun or AR-15 is legal for her to have. The right kind of lock, safe would suffice.

Ok so I am reading that the mom is a danger to the father and the daughter... the father is technically victim to the mother's insanity. Correct?

Conclusion: Father and daughter either kick mom out, or they move and find another place to live. Even better would be to actually catch the mother in a violent act or making threats of violence either on audio or video or both. Do it right, mother will be arrested and charged, and father may even be in a position to file for post conviction relief if they can prove the mother lied about it all.

May be a long road for that, but would be worth it, and their safety would be assured.
 
#28 ·
I am going to guess if we could look at a hundred thousand incidents of domestic violence we would find of the ones that are solved moving far away with no contact has provided a solution far more often than has a firearm been the solution.
 
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#29 ·
This has always bothered me. When I was in the Air Force and finally got enough seniority to do something besides stand at a gate and check vehicle stickers and issue visitors passes the very first domestic violence call that I got turned out to be a German dependent wife and her teen age sons planning to murder her husband for his insurance and retirement. Yet, if you Google domestic violence and shelter most of the shelters have "women's" in the very name.

The fact that he has a felony conviction is going to make it harder for him to go anywhere or get help. I can't see a DV shelter taking in a convicted felon.

The daughter on the other hand needs to get help, get out and get away. And Google says she can possess a handgun at 18 in VA, federal law says she must be 21 to purchase one. Open carry is legal at 18, CC permits at 21.

All the above was found by Google, including the VSP website and FAQ and I believe it to be accurate but can't promise anything.

The best defense is being somewhere else.
 
#30 · (Edited)
The whole situation as described in the OP seems so toxic that no idea other than getting out of the situation makes any sense. When one has to worry about defensive measures against the people who live in the house (I am assuming that everyone lives together; the OP is not clear), it's time to leave. I would be more worried about being able to barricade the bedroom door and to open windows and get out than shooting or baseball-batting my way out through the interior. Badly damaging people who live with you winds up with a lot of complications, especially with the confusing family history in the OP. Maybe some martial arts training or something.

Now, depending on the order and the law of the locale, a protection order granted in a situation where everyone lives together could mean that the respondent in the protection order has to move out and stay away. In that case, defensive measures to resist unlawful entry by the respondent may be more legally defensible in the jurisdiction.
 
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