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The great whacker thread...

107K views 503 replies 138 participants last post by  Mayhem like Me 
#1 ·
I am not quite sure why but I find these people so very amusing.

Tell your stories about wannabes/whackers/holster sniffers/mall ninjas...please.
 
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#461 ·
This is going to piss some off, but in Wilmington NC, volunteers were called "ticks" a pejorative term, for EMS and firefighters who volunteer. Full time paid considered us the "whackers" of their profession.
 
#465 ·
I forgot how epic this thread is. Thanks for bumping it.

I also forgot how I at one time wasn't even a whacker... I was a wannabee whacker too poor to afford the whacker gear. Sure am glad I snapped out of it and got me a real job!
 
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#467 ·
I'm liking the trailer trash Neo look on the left. I'm scared the one next to him might mistake the pistols for liquorice and eat them.
 
#471 ·
Two thoughts crossed my mind...

"I'll just point this here long shooter at my partner's face"

And

"I'm the only one muffin-top enough to not need a vest"
 
#479 ·
Looks like they are unpaid volunteer civilians who receive some sort of law enforcement training and can be called upon to supplement the LE mission, probably with things like traffic control for parades or extra manpower during searches for missing hikers.

Never mentioned that the modern day group is sworn so that is what they sound like they do, which is the same as any other auxiliary group here comprised of civilians.
 
#484 ·
Wacker buys an ex police car.....



...gets mad when everyone in front of him won't go over the speed limit.


.

Friend of mine did that. Found a great buy on a used State Police car in great shape. Thought it would be fun to drive around. Found out quickly about the speed limit thing... he no longer has the car.
 
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#483 ·
Just once I'd love to get someone impersonating where I could charge them. Others in my agency have gotten lucky but not me so far. I get quite a few blue light charges but not enough to ever do impersonating.
 
#482 ·
No way any of my stories can top any in here. The closest I've gotten is a local guy that works as a security guard. Black Crown Vic (former police car) with lots of antennae and a cage even! Of course I run the registration after seeing him out late one too many times and it is registered to him personally. He's even gone as far as having his driver's license photo done with his blue button up security uniform on. From that view I could see someone mistaking him for local police since the shirt is the same color as ours. One night I caught him parked in the fire lane of a local grocery store. Normally if I'm not busy I'd leave a parking violation on it and move on but because it was him I waited. When he came out we had a long talk about the elements of impersonating law enforcement. Funny thing is I just don't see him out late like before. :D
 
#487 ·
Saturday night just before it got dark. I was showing my partner a few out of the way places that are usually good for an easy drug arrest or similar.

As we pull into a carpark we see an unmarked car already there. Easy to spot as they are all the same make and model with big aerials, steel wheels and the lights on the rear parcel tray.

I was about to pull up next to it to say hello when I thought "They don't look like cops!"

We ran the plate and it came back to a guy flagged on the computer as a police recruit applicant. Hmmm.

Two prostitutes were in the car smoking meth. We found a little bit of meth and a pipe.

They had been given the keys by the brother of the owner (police applicant) .

The brother of the police applicant had borrowed the car to go to a work Christmas function. He got the girls he 'had known for a little while' to drop him off at the function and gave them the keys to use the car until he meet them back at the hotel later that evening.

What could possibly go wrong?

The two girls denied any knowledge of the meth or the pipe (Not our car, we don't even know who owns it).

I ring the owner to ask him who has his car tonight and he just about **** himself.

I ask him a few questions about the dash camera in the front which is still on.

Then I call the two girls over and point it out to them, telling them that everything that happened inside and outside the car for the last 24 hours has been recorded!

The look of shock and horror on their faces was outstanding! Wide eyes, dropped jaws, the lot.

"You two have been smoking meth right in front of a camera".

We locked up one of the girls who had the pipe and meth, but there wasn't (yet) enough to lock the other one up, at least until we watched the dash cam video).

A search of the car showed the police applicant owner was a whacker of the first order.

Not only had be bought himself an ex cop car, he had kept it looking like it was still a cop car. There was a police badge on the ignition keys as well.

He had a volunteer firefighter ID card in a badge wallet with a big metal Fire Service badge inside the centre consul, along with blank business cards from police stations.

The fire service badges are purchased, (usually only by try hards), not issued and the ID cards are only for discounts organized through the fire brigades association.

There was a black body armour vest in the boot of the car as well.

When he came to the station to pick up his car keys, he asked "Is any of this going to affect my application to join the police?"

Yep.



Sniff
 
#489 ·
We had two of our detectives a couple years ago get pulled on the be parkway by a weaker. The officers were in Howard county. So they got a couple of marked. Howard county cars to stop the schmuck. Boy was hecsurprised. And arrested. Our detectives are still laughing over that
 
#490 ·
 
#491 ·
 
#492 ·
^ Hahaha ... never seen that movie, but I'm gonna have to now!

Trucker: "I never seen a handgun that big before!"
Special Officer (John Candy): "It's only legal in two states... and this isn't one of 'em"

Sounds like the line that a hospital security guards told me one night, talking about the state where he used to work and how all the local cops were jealous of his sidearm 'cause it was so awesome. :chatter:
 
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#493 ·
I almost forgot to post this one... saw this vehicle parked outside my doctor's office a few months back.



Notable features:
- Unmarked CVPI with spotlight, and adorned with non-OEM antennas on the trunk lid and rear window.
- Thin blue line stickers
- Pseudo-official looking bumper sticker, "Volunteer Storm Spotter"
- License plate frame, with slogan declaring "My Other Car is a Fire Truck"
- To top it all off, parked in a handicapped spot

That one had a little bit of everything going on. I don't have any info on the driver, but I think we can make some pretty accurate speculations.
 
#495 ·
^ Hahaha ... never seen that movie, but I'm gonna have to now!

Trucker: "I never seen a handgun that big before!"
Special Officer (John Candy): "It's only legal in two states... and this isn't one of 'em"

Sounds like the line that a hospital security guards told me one night, talking about the state where he used to work and how all the local cops were jealous of his sidearm 'cause it was so awesome. :chatter:
Maybe it was a 10mm :D
 
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