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Old 08-25-2013, 06:55   #76
Ragnar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hussell_Crowe View Post
Long story short, I'm 25 my girlfriend is 24. We've been together 6 months, and she is the love of my life-I thought I had found the " One "

As it turns out-she has continued to talk to several men she met from an online dating site-when I saw the names in her phone and casually asked who they were, she said they were high school friends.

Not only that, she gave her phone number to a female work friend, and said to her " Give my number to someone you think would want to hang out with me " and the next day some guy named Jordan started talking to her. She admitted he had asked her out to the park, and she said it was a " Possibility "


She also contacted her ex boyfriend last week, to see if he still had a computer for sale. When I finally confronted her, for these numberous indiscretions, she said she just wanted " More friends " and they were a " Distraction " because me and her had been arguing lately.


I'm deeply hurt by all of this, but she says she loves me, and she only wanted friendship from these other men.


Sigh. Advice is highly needed.
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Old 08-25-2013, 06:59   #77
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Something tells me that in spite of all of the advice to " eject " you are going to try and work this out . She's going to break your heart , my friend . There are so many warning signs here . Move on and don't let her " play you " .
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Old 08-25-2013, 08:17   #78
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Like you said our 25. You have plenty of time. Go out and have fun while your still young. Get out while you can, it won't change.
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Old 08-25-2013, 08:22   #79
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hussell_Crowe View Post
Long story short, I'm 25 my girlfriend is 24. We've been together 6 months, and she is the love of my life-I thought I had found the " One "

As it turns out-she has continued to talk to several men she met from an online dating site-when I saw the names in her phone and casually asked who they were, she said they were high school friends.

Not only that, she gave her phone number to a female work friend, and said to her " Give my number to someone you think would want to hang out with me " and the next day some guy named Jordan started talking to her. She admitted he had asked her out to the park, and she said it was a " Possibility "


She also contacted her ex boyfriend last week, to see if he still had a computer for sale. When I finally confronted her, for these numberous indiscretions, she said she just wanted " More friends " and they were a " Distraction " because me and her had been arguing lately.


I'm deeply hurt by all of this, but she says she loves me, and she only wanted friendship from these other men.


Sigh. Advice is highly needed.
Do a little a little research on borderline personality disorder, and co-dependency, then make your best decision.
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Old 08-25-2013, 08:39   #80
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She will leave when ALL the cards are in her favor.

She is basically biding her time, she already knows where this will end. The one who cares the least controls a relationship.
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Old 08-25-2013, 08:45   #81
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Originally Posted by Hussell_Crowe View Post
If it matters, she's had a rough past-family issues-personal issues-abandonment issues. I truly believe she loves me, but I don't think she understand what acceptable boundaries are in a healthy relationship. I hope I can help her realize, you simply can NOT do these things, and not eventually expect everything to fall apart. Which unfortunately it has, ALL we do is argue lately...It's sad.
Ah, therein lies the problem my friend. You are her boyfriend, not her therapist. You can't be both and expect a normal relationship.
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Old 08-25-2013, 08:55   #82
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YOU GUYS ARE ALL HEARTLESS!

Having learned the hard way that people only listen to what they want to hear, I would hazard a guess that the best thing you could possibly do is PROVE to her how special she is to you. Don't worry, she'll come around and everything will be perfect FOREVER. This sort of behavior happens in every relationship and you just HAVE to make her understand! And be sure to give her a bunch of money and presents.

and while you're doing it listen to this song, on a loop, forever

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Old 08-25-2013, 09:09   #83
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If I were you I'd be worried about getting an STD. This chick is hot-to-trot as they say and you are being scammed.
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Old 08-25-2013, 09:18   #84
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I will give the best advice in this thread: dont ask for relationship advice on GT.
But you also need to tell him to check her teeth and...something about a Sony Bravia.
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Old 08-25-2013, 09:27   #85
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It will only get better......FOR HER. She is using you until she finds "that one" to hang out with then you will be history.Get out now. She has proved to you that she wants guy friends to "hang out" with and has given her number to friends to help her find that person. Is she asking you to go along with them? Why not spend time with you? Ask yourself "would she put up with me doing the same with other girls? If she says yes then you make a great couple.She has lied (high school friends) and hangs out on dating sites. RUN RUN RUN FAST and stay away from her.

I endured the same type of relationship.....even posting here on GT(never again). Got good advice but in the end I had to be the one to do what I knew all along was right. I had a cheater, liar and thief.I moved on and broke all contact with her. Not looking for a relationship, I just date and go out with friends and couldn't be happier.. I thought she was "the one" and she wasn't. From what you posted you have found "the one". "The One" thats going to lie and cheat. Dump the trash. Best of luck.
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Old 08-25-2013, 09:37   #86
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Quote:
Originally Posted by raxar View Post



YOU GUYS ARE ALL HEARTLESS!

Having learned the hard way that people only listen to what they want to hear, I would hazard a guess that the best thing you could possibly do is PROVE to her how special she is to you. Don't worry, she'll come around and everything will be perfect FOREVER. This sort of behavior happens in every relationship and you just HAVE to make her understand! And be sure to give her a bunch of money and presents.

and while you're doing it listen to this song, on a loop, forever

The Offspring - Self Esteem [HD] - YouTube
I love that song.
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Old 08-25-2013, 10:42   #87
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hussell_Crowe View Post
Long story short, I'm 25 my girlfriend is 24. We've been together 6 months, and she is the love of my life-I thought I had found the " One "

As it turns out-she has continued to talk to several men she met from an online dating site-when I saw the names in her phone and casually asked who they were, she said they were high school friends.

Not only that, she gave her phone number to a female work friend, and said to her " Give my number to someone you think would want to hang out with me " and the next day some guy named Jordan started talking to her. She admitted he had asked her out to the park, and she said it was a " Possibility "


She also contacted her ex boyfriend last week, to see if he still had a computer for sale. When I finally confronted her, for these numberous indiscretions, she said she just wanted " More friends " and they were a " Distraction " because me and her had been arguing lately.


I'm deeply hurt by all of this, but she says she loves me, and she only wanted friendship from these other men.


Sigh. Advice is highly needed.
Here are my thoughts, although you may not like them.

You are the GF's placeholder boyfriend until she thinks she's found someone better. And once she's found someone else she'll have your phone number in her cellphone to call you when her new relationship starts to cool.

If you don't feel that strongly about her then you can play second fiddle, but if you really have strong feelings for her the next time she lies cut the relationship off clean and neat, and don't look back.
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Old 08-25-2013, 10:52   #88
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You may look at her as your "girlfriend", but she acts more like a slut puppy IMO. Chicks with abandonment issues are always the first ones to abandon YOU! Dump her and move on. Just telling it like it is.

Last edited by ChallengerSRT; 08-25-2013 at 10:53..
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Old 08-25-2013, 10:56   #89
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Nothing will change. She is what she is. Good or bad.
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Old 08-25-2013, 11:23   #90
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Firstly, I want to thank everyone for replying. I'm struggling with this tremendously, so the advice of others is very helpful. I wish I could say I had an update, but I don't.

She didn't call/text me all day. I woke up this morning to a missed call at 5 AM, which is very unusual for her to be up that early, so it might have been an mistake, she didn't leave a voicemail.


At this point, I'm going to continue not talking to her, if she shows up at my house, then we can have a conversation. The last time we talked on the phone, this is what she told me

" I've had a long day at work, and I'm really stressed-I don't feel like talking, I'll talk to you later " and we hung up. I haven't heard from her since-and that was 2 days ago.
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Old 08-25-2013, 11:25   #91
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChallengerSRT View Post
You may look at her as your "girlfriend", but she acts more like a slut puppy IMO. Chicks with abandonment issues are always the first ones to abandon YOU! Dump her and move on. Just telling it like it is.
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Old 08-25-2013, 11:35   #92
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You know, I'm sitting here-thinking about all of the GOOD times me and her had together, and kicking myself. I wonder if there's anything I could have different. I'd like to think I'm a good person, do I have my flaws? for sure, but I've never been dishonest to her about anything let alone talking to other girls she doesn't know.

She has said time and time again she likes guy friends better than girl friends-maybe that's why? I don't know guys/gals. I'm desperately trying to play devils advocate, and think of non-shady reasons for all of this behavior.

If this is the end-hopefully one day, she'll look back and realize " Damn, I had a good thing going, and I ruined it "


I want someone who doesn't seek out other males attention-especially when you HAVE A BOYFRIEND WHO LIVES 15 MINUTES AWAY. I digress.
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Old 08-25-2013, 11:41   #93
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If everthing you say is true

You need to move on and I am not kidding, you sound like a clinger border line stalker.

- she sounds like w-ore I have been there done that, schedule an appointment with your primary care physician and get tested for everything. For your own good, then get a referred to some therapy or counseling you have attachment and co-dependent issues.
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Old 08-25-2013, 11:52   #94
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Is she the right girl for you?

The part about making sure you don't get her pregnant.You may be too late.As soon as you dump her she will come up pregnant,or tell you she is pregnant.Then comes the waiting game to find out if she's telling you the truth.In the mean time if she thinks her being pregnant will get you back,guess what?If she really isn't pregnant,she will be from one of her"male friends".You will have to wait until the baby is born and go on Maury Povich to see if you're the daddy.In the mean time she will have you convinced during the pregnancy that you're the daddy and there's no need for a test if you really love her.My advice is,don't have sex with her starting now and wait to dump her until after she has her "lady day"so you can be sure if she turns up pregnant after you dump her,you're not the daddy.
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Old 08-25-2013, 11:53   #95
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Seriously, friend. People don't treat other people they care about the way she has been/is treating you. Ergo, she doesn't care about you. At all.

"I'm stressed at work and don't feel like talking." To her boyfriend? For two days? Do you suppose she is just sitting at home, silent? Or might she be talking to someone else, making a new nest while keeping you on the hook, if I may mix metaphors.

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Old 08-25-2013, 12:02   #96
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How soon before the truth becomes the brick wall someone runs into? Do you see it then? Do you stop, or try to find a way around it?
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Old 08-25-2013, 12:30   #97
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She's looking for someone better than you. Let her go. If she doesn't find him, she'll come back. If she doesn't, it wasn't going to work anyways.
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Old 08-25-2013, 12:45   #98
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[/thread]

She has a choice between a 25 year-old Obommunist, and men.

Guess which choice she already made.
This.
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Old 08-25-2013, 12:46   #99
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If you have to snoop through her phone, you don't trust her enough to make decisions of your life and death should it come to that.
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Old 08-25-2013, 12:47   #100
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She's looking for someone better than you. Let her go. If she doesn't find him, she'll come back. If she doesn't, it wasn't going to work anyways.
Eff that. If she comes back it shows her indecisiveness and she wasn't worth your time to begin with. She'll run out on you when times get hard.
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