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Old 04-21-2013, 22:31   #1
BEER
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that man has never been drunk before.

had a friend over tonight who wanted to drink with the rest of us. being a man we thought he'd been drunk before. we were wrong.

how a man reaches the age of 40 and has never been drunk we don't understand. it happened tonight though and it was comical to say the least.

his keys are currently on my roof and he's sleeping it off in my spare bedroom. he's in for 1 hell of a painful surprise tomorrow morning.

we should have known after his 2nd drink but we were so focused on our own state or inebriation that we missed it. lol

tomorrow morning he will be greeted with slimy eggs, grease covered bacon, and an ashtray full of ashes and cigarette butts. lol

i should probably feel bad, but i don't. lmao
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Old 04-21-2013, 22:34   #2
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Can't wait to hear the follow up story tomorrow!!
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Old 04-21-2013, 22:35   #3
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Old 04-21-2013, 22:49   #4
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40 and never been drunk? Damn!

I worked with a guy a few years ago, he was 27 and had never done the horizontal bump and grind before. I think that's worse than never getting a buzz on.
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Old 04-21-2013, 22:56   #5
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had a friend over tonight who wanted to drink with the rest of us. being a man we thought he'd been drunk before. we were wrong.

how a man reaches the age of 40 and has never been drunk we don't understand. it happened tonight though and it was comical to say the least.

his keys are currently on my roof and he's sleeping it off in my spare bedroom. he's in for 1 hell of a painful surprise tomorrow morning.

we should have known after his 2nd drink but we were so focused on our own state or inebriation that we missed it. lol

tomorrow morning he will be greeted with slimy eggs, grease covered bacon, and an ashtray full of ashes and cigarette butts. lol

i should probably feel bad, but i don't. lmao
I'm closing in on that age and I've never been drunk, buzzed, or anything remotely close. But that's by choice.

I have, however, been around enough of those mornings to know that your "breakfast special"? That's just cold, man!
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Old 04-21-2013, 23:01   #6
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Give him the full experience and break out the Sharpie for old times sake.
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Old 04-21-2013, 23:03   #7
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If you can still hold on to the carpet, y'ain't drunk.


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Old 04-21-2013, 23:09   #8
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Quote:
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I'm closing in on that age and I've never been drunk, buzzed, or anything remotely close. But that's by choice.
My mother-in-law is 62 and has never had a drop of alcohol, other than what is in medications.

Her abstinence is due to religious beliefs... Quite amazing to a former sailor like me.
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Old 04-21-2013, 23:11   #9
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It's probably best not to lose any kind of virginity after the age of 40.
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Old 04-21-2013, 23:11   #10
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Give him the full experience and break out the Sharpie for old times sake.
no sir! i will screw with you bad if you get drunk at my place and make an ass of yourself, but one thing i will not allow is permanent markings. been there, done that, and i will not put anybody else through that long term hell.

i'm not going to call my place a safe haven by any means, but i'm also not gonna have anybody leave here with anything that will be awkward to explain to kids or grandparents the next day.
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Old 04-22-2013, 01:40   #11
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Back in the day I could handle alcohol fine, but the second time "they" tricked me a mickey I wasn't ready for it. They took photos...

Statute of limitations is a non-issue as I haven't been able to get my hands on the photos yet, but if/when I do, I'm gonna sue 'em all.
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Old 04-22-2013, 02:03   #12
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Put shaving cream in his hands and then tickle his face with something for a wakeup call in the morning
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Old 04-22-2013, 06:41   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BEER View Post
how a man reaches the age of 40 and has never been drunk we don't understand.
It's actually quite easy: Don't every take a sip of alcohol. I'm the same age and haven't ever had it. Never will.

jas
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Old 04-22-2013, 06:52   #14
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Irish breakfast?

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Old 04-22-2013, 06:55   #15
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Old 04-22-2013, 06:56   #16
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I'm 22 and I've been drunk 3 times. I really hate it and plan to never be drunk again. I set my absolute limit to two normal sized drinks, whether it's beer or anything else. That said, there is always that one drink that is stronger than you expected and hits you like a ton of bricks.

I don't drink anything, but iced tea if I have to drive 99% of the time, but for that 1% I have a great support system that I never have to worry about a ride if I need it. Worst comes to worst, I sleep it off in my car. I will never drive drunk or impaired and I am extremely vigilant about that.


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Old 04-22-2013, 07:36   #17
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Can't wait to hear what happens
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Old 04-22-2013, 07:57   #18
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40 and never been drunk? Damn!

I worked with a guy a few years ago, he was 27 and had never done the horizontal bump and grind before. I think that's worse than never getting a buzz on.
27 is a very late bloomer by today's standards, but I've heard of worse.

The guy you know could be a real life 40 year old virgin in the making!
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Old 04-22-2013, 08:24   #19
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Treat him like a teenager.

Make him mow the lawn.
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Old 04-22-2013, 08:30   #20
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Poop in his hands and then tickle his face with something for a wakeup call in the morning
Fixed it.
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Old 04-22-2013, 09:31   #21
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i hate this guy. last night he was trashed, i mean absolutely polluted, and this morning he wakes up bright eyed and ready to take on the world. no hangover what so ever, he didn't even grimace when i offered him a shot of the hair of the dog. he even managed to scarf down 2 plates of my horrible cooking. i swear he has some sort over mutant healing ability, or he's got one hell of a poker face. lol

my other 2 friends sam and his wife on the other hand, they're still doing the zombie shuffle and turning plaid everytime they move too fast. lol

then there's me. i too have a weapons grade hangover, but i'm about to go start yard work and sweat it out while chugging a few hundred gallons of water.
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Old 04-22-2013, 09:34   #22
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Still drunk perhaps? Maybe it will catch up with him later.
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Old 04-22-2013, 09:53   #23
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Still drunk perhaps? Maybe it will catch up with him later.
This.
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Old 04-22-2013, 10:06   #24
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nope, he was flat out sober. his speech and motor skills were in perfect working order, his eyes were clear and focused, he even zipped up and down the ladder to get his keys without any balance issues. if i thought he was still drunk i wouldn't have told him were his keys were and i'd have pumped him full of gatorade.

i think the sob got lucky and dodged the bullet on his first drinking adventure.
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Old 04-22-2013, 10:20   #25
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<<<--- Just turned 40 this year, and never been drunk.


Known enough drunks to know that I'm not missing much.
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