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Old 04-19-2013, 17:20   #76
Lone_Wolfe
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Originally Posted by Mrs. VR View Post
First and foremost-I am so grateful for every single kind word and thought from each of you. Every time I check in here, I can't make it through dry eyed, but it makes me feel lifted up.

I lost it multiple times today for no good reason. I'd just be talking to someone and whamm! .............
I got to call BS here, you got VERY good reason to break down crying. Don't be afraid to come in here babbling, too, we're here to listen. If we can offer nothing more, you have prayers and understanding shoulders to cry on.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
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Old 04-19-2013, 22:38   #77
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I struck up an instant repor with one of the admin people at interventional radiology ( her name was Sharon -as well). After a long long wait in a prep room, Sharon walked back to find us, pulled the curtains and laid what I can only describe as a faith healing prayer on mom.

Now, you mostly know we are Jewish, and this was a very serious appeal to Jesus, but we were both so moved and touched that she took that time out of her day, to deliver us comfort that she truly believes she is called to. And it WAS great comfort.

I envy her her security in her faith. She was really an amazing lady.
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Old 04-20-2013, 06:05   #78
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Try to let the guilt go. A husband and wife are meant to support each other, no matter what. As a husband, I would have no problem picking up some extra responsibilities around the house if my wife had to devote more time to her parents. I have done so when she had her wisdom teeth removed and when she was having preterm contractions and the Dr. advised her that she should be on bed rest.

My Dad did that for years for my Mom. My maternal Grandfather was in a state of declining health and energy for about 4-5 years before he passed away, and my Mom went to his house every afternoon to make sure he had taken his meds and to clean up whatever mess may have been made.

We all did it happily, knowing that we were helping a loved one in their time of need.
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Old 04-20-2013, 06:13   #79
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Time heals all wounds-- thats about the only thing that makes it any easier. In my experience, it takes at the minimum of one full 12 month cycle from the time of the event. Then things start to improve, but of course you never forget. My prayers go out to you.
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Old 04-20-2013, 06:22   #80
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I got to call BS here, you got VERY good reason to break down crying. Don't be afraid to come in here babbling, too, we're here to listen. If we can offer nothing more, you have prayers and understanding shoulders to cry on.
Girl, I'll add one caution to what you said, with which I agree, do NOT let tears get into the keyboard if not on phone or iPad. That salt water is brutal!!!!!!!!! Do not ask how I know.

Love y'all!!
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Old 04-20-2013, 07:01   #81
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Get down on your knees in a quiet room,& thank Jesus for the time he gave you with your loved one.Then ask Him to help you as you go through this time of sorrow & trial. He will give you comfort & peace if you sincerely trust Him . I had this trial also,Talking to Jesus was the only comfort I had,so I found myself talking to Him a lot.
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Old 04-20-2013, 20:31   #82
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I'm sleeping over tonight. Other than the face mask and the fact that the bathroom we can use is quite literally a half a city block away, it's almost cosy. Mom had first round of chemo today and is feeling fine. She'll be five days on, so hopefully that'll continue. The staff in this area is WONDERFUL. they are so kind and helpful and obviously want to be here.

I am having a lot of issues staying connected to GT but ill be home tomorrow night and part of Monday, so ill catch up more then. Thanks for the continued good thought!

It is so weird to see the difference in mom before and after blood transfusions. Cancer is just a big fat a-hole.
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Old 04-20-2013, 21:12   #83
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I'm glad she is in such a nice place, with such caring people. I hope she continues to do well, and that she will be completely healed.

And yes, cancer is a real jerk.
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Old 04-21-2013, 02:23   #84
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I think you just described me and my dad. We seem to be taking things in turns. See, though, that's another thing, I've always been a "daddy's" girl, and it absolutely destroys me to see him sad/hurt/upset, etc. my parents have been married for 55 years. That is just mind boggling these days. How do you go on without your partner after more than half a century? I'm note seeing any end to this tunnel of hell we seem to in. Maybe it's like some warped NASCAR track and we are just going to spin in circles indefinitely.

The rational part of my brain knows time heals all wounds. The rest of my brain is, apparently, having my aforementioned breakdown tonight. That's not necessarily a bad thing, I know.
That living after being together so long is the hard part for people. My grandmothers both outlived their mates that they had been with for more than 40 years. But they did survive. The hardest part for the rest of us is how different it becomes when that integral part of the lives is gone.

When my mom died in 2010 it was totally unexpected and it was devastating to me because I never got to say goodbye. But she died without the running to the hospital numerous times like her mother and that was horrible because each time we went we expected it to be the time and she actually lasted ten years longer where my mom just dropped went to sleep and never woke up.

Which is worse I don't know but in some ways arguments can be made in each side of the coin but they both hurt and will really depress you for a long time. Good luck and prayers to you.
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Old 04-21-2013, 03:18   #85
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I suspect people would heal better if they were allowed to sleep for more than a few hours at a time.
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Old 04-21-2013, 07:36   #86
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Pushed the elevator button and waited ans waited and realized I had pushed the purell button.
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Old 04-21-2013, 07:43   #87
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Thoughts and prayers, continually being sent.
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Old 04-21-2013, 07:46   #88
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Pushed the elevator button and waited ans waited and realized I had pushed the purell button.
wonder why your feet were wet?

nature's way of telling you to get some shuteye.
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Old 04-21-2013, 07:51   #89
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Thoughts and prayers to you and the family.



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Old 04-21-2013, 07:54   #90
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Quote:
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I'm sleeping over tonight. Other than the face mask and the fact that the bathroom we can use is quite literally a half a city block away, it's almost cosy. Mom had first round of chemo today and is feeling fine. She'll be five days on, so hopefully that'll continue. The staff in this area is WONDERFUL. they are so kind and helpful and obviously want to be here.

I am having a lot of issues staying connected to GT but ill be home tomorrow night and part of Monday, so ill catch up more then. Thanks for the continued good thought!

It is so weird to see the difference in mom before and after blood transfusions. Cancer is just a big fat a-hole.
Yes, cancer is a big a-hole. It not only robs you of your life, but it also robs you of your dignity along the way.

I watched a niece die of cancer - she left two little girls (2 and 4) behind. I used to take her to chemo and then radiation. I was with her when she got the 'terminal' news. We both knew it already, but the stark fact was difficult. We just held each other and cried. I still cry when I think of her and that day.

The 'Circle of life'... Sometimes it's magical, usually it's mundane. Sometimes it's very difficult. The lesson I've taken, from all the deaths I've experienced, is to get busy living, my time is coming too.

Good luck MVR and to your mom.
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Old 04-21-2013, 09:05   #91
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Mom and I talked a bit about how you font have to look very far to ever find anyone who has it worse than you do. I'm glad I can take shifts w/dad. He needs the rest and I can help her do lady stuff. So can dad, but woman to woman is a little dignity preserving I think.

Almost forgot, I stumbled to bathroom in the middle of night ( it is literally a brisk 2 min walk) and a guy was sitting in the darkened family area with a black hoodie on, torslly motionless. Scared the heck out of me, but no scythe.
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Old 04-21-2013, 09:11   #92
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Old 04-22-2013, 15:03   #93
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Today is less easy.
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Old 04-22-2013, 15:09   #94
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Today is less easy.
We're here for you Sharon. tom.
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Old 04-22-2013, 15:10   #95
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Prayers sent.
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Old 04-22-2013, 15:30   #96
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More prayers & good thoughts sent.

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Old 04-22-2013, 20:46   #97
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Thank you. I hate absolutely everything about this.
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Old 04-22-2013, 21:49   #98
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Topping off this wonderful day, I walk the solid 2 mins to use the potty ( seriously not exaggerating, I've timed it) got ready for bed, sat down to read for a few and now I am trying to convince myself I don't have to pee again. Mom is dozing and I don't want to wake her, but I don't want her to wake up and not see me either. If I wasn't so damn tired this would probably be a much easier decision!!
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Old 04-22-2013, 22:01   #99
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The Lord looks after the tiny bladdered. Soon as I wrote that, nurse came for vitals and I made a break for it!
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Old 04-23-2013, 01:45   #100
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Quote:
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Today is less easy.


From having been there myself, I understand some of what she's going through. I wish there was a way to make this easier for her or you.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
FREEDOM IS NOT FREE
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