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Old 01-29-2013, 00:38   #101
Detectorist
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *ASH* View Post
A redneck family are visiting a big city for the first time.

The father ans son are in the hotel lobby when the spot an elevator.

"What's that Paw?" The boy asked.

"I ain't never did see nothin' like that in my life" Replied the father.

Seconds later an old frail woman walks in the hotel door and hobbles to the elevator. She presses the button with her cain, waits for the doors to open and gets in.

The father and son, still amazed by this contraption, continue to watch.

They hear a ping noise and the doors open again. Out steps a beautiful 20 year old busty blonde.

The father looks at his son and says "Go get your Maw !"
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Old 01-29-2013, 10:50   #102
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You might be a redneck if you think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
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Old 01-29-2013, 11:32   #103
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Originally Posted by Peace Warrior View Post
If you keep a rooster in a bathtub, which is inside your home and working, you might be a redneck.
Hey, I turned him back outside yesterday! So I'm high class now!

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Old 01-29-2013, 12:36   #104
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Tew weaks ergo i koodnt spel readnekk, but i r 1...

Ok, I do find much (ok all) of the PC thing a PITA. A large part of my heritage is Scots, I graduated from a HS that had a kilt wearing piper as mascot... We were the "Highlanders..."
So I'm supposed to be offended?

Ahh, now to kick the poo poo pile. Unless you hate everyone there's a problem. There is only one race - Human... We may have different ethnicities, but that's a diferent thing entirely.

"My daddy divorced my momma and married my auntie... now my cousin is my sister..."
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Old 01-29-2013, 12:51   #105
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You must be a redneck, if you sleep, walk, exercise, and work on your project with a turkey for 24/7.

NOT kidding: I couldn't find a thread in past where a guy was trying to sell his 5.0 Mustang. He was riding with a turkey in it. He lives with a turkey as it was his wife. Jeeez!
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Old 01-29-2013, 18:56   #106
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On a recent sunny afternoon Mr. Odd Johnson was lying on his death bed. With his immediate family around him he asked that only his date of birth and his date on death be engraved on his headstone. He explained that he had been a very private man his whole life and didn't want any attention brought to his grave site. After some discussion, his family reluctantly agreed.

A couple of months later two cousins, who were unable to attend the funeral, stopped by the cemetary to pay their last respects. As they were walking through the cemetary looking for his grave, one of them noticed the headstone that had only the date of birth and the date of death listed on it. She turned to the other family member pointed and said, "Now isn't that odd."
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Old 01-30-2013, 01:51   #107
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Glock30Eric View Post
You must be a redneck, if you sleep, walk, exercise, and work on your project with a turkey for 24/7.

NOT kidding: I couldn't find a thread in past where a guy was trying to sell his 5.0 Mustang. He was riding with a turkey in it. He lives with a turkey as it was his wife. Jeeez!
That's just fowl.
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Old 01-30-2013, 01:54   #108
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Hey, I turned him back outside yesterday! So I'm high class now!

I have no room to talk.

In the past I would keep bitties
(i.e., peeps to you mid-State folks, and pullets to you folks North of the Mason-Dixon line) in my bedroom closet till they were old enough to stay warm by themselves.
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Last edited by Peace Warrior; 01-30-2013 at 01:55..
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Old 05-04-2013, 06:06   #109
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What up, my rednecks?
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Old 05-04-2013, 06:14   #110
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Originally Posted by PBCounty View Post

Let's see how long a "you might be from the ghetto..." thread would last.
about as long as a long distance swimmer in a volcano
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Old 05-04-2013, 06:15   #111
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and, i , according to my wife, am a redneck. i keep asking if she's upset cause i used a bowling trophy as a hood ornament.
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Old 05-04-2013, 06:27   #112
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jakebrake View Post
and, i , according to my wife, am a redneck. i keep asking if she's upset cause i used a bowling trophy as a hood ornament.
Did you explain to her that a redneck trophy wife comes with bowling shoes?
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Old 05-04-2013, 09:12   #113
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Redneck Fire Alarm:

The Okie Corral

Redneck Bass Boat:

The Okie Corral
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Old 05-04-2013, 09:31   #114
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to clear up a small point of confusion for some of the visitors down south....

when you hear a redneck say 'we're gonna be bbq'in this weekend" that means there will be meat cooked on a bbq pit, cold beer, and all that.

when you hear a redneck say "we're gonna be grillin this weekend" that means him and his buddies are takin their trucks out on the back roads to run down something to put on the aforementioned bbq pit.

we prefer hunting this way because ammo is expensive these days. besides that if you hit the critter just right you can knock the guts right out of em on the fly and save time on the skinning and butchering part, plus it tenderizes the meat.

so to recap, if you get invited to a bbq, bring cold beer and potato salad. if you get invited to go grillin, bring garbage bags and a flat shovel.
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Old 05-04-2013, 10:09   #115
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Quote:
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I much prefer, "Descendant of indigenous pre-Columbian aboriginal inhabitants"
That'll fit right on a census form or a 4473...



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Old 05-04-2013, 10:14   #116
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jtull7 View Post
Redneck Fire Alarm:

The Okie Corral

Redneck Bass Boat:

The Okie Corral
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Old 05-04-2013, 10:19   #117
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As a Scot/German/Indian/Redneck I had to give up drinking 'shine. I'd get drunk, put on a kilt and war paint, grab a Mauser rifle and start marching towards Paris.
Did you send word you were on the way so they would be ready to surrender when you got there?



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Old 05-04-2013, 10:23   #118
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Redneck Day in Phoenix...


http://m.usatoday.com/article/news/2128347


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Old 05-04-2013, 10:46   #119
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Funny stuff!

I was kind of hoping for an actual test, either of my knowledge of things redneck, or my own redneck-ness.
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Old 05-04-2013, 11:28   #120
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hurricanes View Post
I know redneck is not a race, but it's a term used as a racial slur against certain white people.

Eric, I'm not offended by the term. Though maybe there are other members, or even paying sponsors that do not appreciate the term being thrown around. That is just my opinion, I'll let you boys get back at it.
Let me get this straight....If I'm reading this right, You are offended on behalf of someone who MIGHT be offended?? Tell me you are kidding.
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Old 05-04-2013, 12:56   #121
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Let me get this straight....If I'm reading this right, You are offended on behalf of someone who MIGHT be offended?? Tell me you are kidding.
and now here you are getting ready to be offended that he's offended on behalf of someone who might be offended.

why do i suddenly feel like i'm in a mel brooks movie? lol
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Old 05-04-2013, 13:40   #122
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You know what the warning is if you marry a cousin... Y'all may divorce down the road, but remember your in-laws will still be your aunt and uncle.


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Old 05-04-2013, 13:45   #123
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Funny stuff!

I was kind of hoping for an actual test, either of my knowledge of things redneck, or my own redneck-ness.
Redneck-ness... A word fraught with meaning. When I started this response, though, I thought you had said "rednecked-ness" which would be even more fraught.


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Old 05-04-2013, 13:48   #124
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Originally Posted by railfancwb View Post
You know what the warning is if you marry a cousin... Y'all may divorce down the road, but remember your in-laws will still be your aunt and uncle.


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Old 05-04-2013, 19:02   #125
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I can't believe I am having this conversation.

It isn't a racial term unless it applies to a race. 'Redneck' ain't a race, it's a state of mind. It is not a slur. I don't fit neatly into any particular category, but I fit into redneck about as we'll as any. Redneck isn't an insult. It is a person who is self-sufficient. If something breaks, he fixes it. If he needs a part or a tool or something that isn't available, he makes it. If a problem comes up, he by-God deals with it. What is wrong with that? Eric
I'm offended. Eric, give yourself an infarction!
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