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Old 01-27-2013, 14:18   #51
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Quote:
Originally Posted by countrygun View Post
As long as you know the difference between a slurpee Indian and a casino Indian, I'm cool with it.
Countrygun I really don't know the difference between a slurppee Indian and a casino Indian. Technically I am a Native American since I was born in the USA so can you tell me?
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Old 01-27-2013, 14:23   #52
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Originally Posted by Hurricanes View Post
Not that I care, but does this mean we can start threads on jokes about other races? I always enjoy a good joke, but I can't understand how this thread was made. If I used a derogatory term about any other race/color I would be given an infraction, banned, or both.
Go complain to Jeff Foxworthy. :rolleyes:
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Old 01-27-2013, 14:30   #53
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Originally Posted by Wyoming View Post
Countrygun I really don't know the difference between a slurppee Indian and a casino Indian. Technically I am a Native American since I was born in the USA so can you tell me?
It's like the difference between a dot on the forehead and full warpaint, between owning a 7-11 and a casino.

I never liked being called a "Native American", because one of the biggest qualifications is "being born here' well.....

I much prefer, "Descendant of indigenous pre-Columbian aboriginal inhabitants"
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Old 01-27-2013, 14:46   #54
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Originally Posted by countrygun View Post
It's like the difference between a dot on the forehead and full warpaint, between owning a 7-11 and a casino.

I never liked being called a "Native American", because one of the biggest qualifications is "being born here' well.....

I much prefer, "Descendant of indigenous pre-Columbian aboriginal inhabitants"
Thanks! Don't drink many slurpees but here in Wyoming 7-11 have more Spanish speaking employees working there. If you said hotel Indian compared to casino Indian I might have gotten it because most of our hotels have been bought out by people from India.

"I much prefer, Descendant of indigenous pre-Columbian aboriginal inhabitants" That is too wordy can we just use Indian?
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Old 01-27-2013, 14:57   #55
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Originally Posted by Wyoming View Post
Thanks! Don't drink many slurpees but here in Wyoming 7-11 have more Spanish speaking employees working there. If you said hotel Indian compared to casino Indian I might have gotten it because most of our hotels have been bought out by people from India.

"I much prefer, Descendant of indigenous pre-Columbian aboriginal inhabitants" That is too wordy can we just use Indian?
I just say "im choctaw"
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Old 01-27-2013, 16:59   #56
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And what about us poor white-lookin' Mexkins down here in the Republic of Texas? I'm 7/8 Hispanic, 1/8 Cherokee on my Mama's side but look 100% anglo!

I learned long ago to use my nickname instead of my full name when meeting new folks or going to parties. So I became inured to Mex jokes. Ironically, being US born and bred, I've never thought much about it since my surname sounds Anglo. The only time is when I fill out some guvmint form and it asks racial questions.

The point of all this is that I hear and tell all kinds of racial jokes, including Redneck variety, with all my friends, who are of all colors and mixtures. No Problemo!

Everyone these days acts like they have an official Obama-issued cob up their rear end. No wonder nobody jokes or laughs anymore...

OK Eric, I'll take my spanking now....

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Old 01-27-2013, 17:20   #57
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Let's try this again.....

An Irishman in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Irishman looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?" The waitress nodded "yes," so the Irishman told her to give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.

The next patron to come in was an Englishman with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus over there?" The waitress nodded, so the Englishman said to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "my treat."

The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Redneck on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there sweet thang. How's about gettin' me a cold glass of Coke!" He too looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that God's boy over there?" The waitress once again nodded that it was, so the Redneck said to give Jesus a cold glass of Coke, "on my bill."

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Irishman, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Irishman felt the strength come back to his legs, got up and danced a jig right out the door.

Jesus also passed by the Englishman, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Englishman felt his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips out the door.

Then Jesus walked up to the Redneck.

The Redneck jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me... I'm drawin' disability!"
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Old 01-27-2013, 17:24   #58
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Should have known that some folks on here would get their panties in a wad.
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Old 01-27-2013, 19:04   #59
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WarCry View Post
An Irishman in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Irishman looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?" The waitress nodded "yes," so the Irishman told her to give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.

The next patron to come in was an Englishman with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus over there?" The waitress nodded, so the Englishman said to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "my treat."

The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Redneck on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there sweet thang. How's about gettin' me a cold glass of Coke!" He too looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that God's boy over there?" The waitress once again nodded that it was, so the Redneck said to give Jesus a cold glass of Coke, "on my bill."

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Irishman, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Irishman felt the strength come back to his legs, got up and danced a jig right out the door.

Jesus also passed by the Englishman, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Englishman felt his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips out the door.

Then Jesus walked up to the Redneck.

The Redneck jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me... I'm drawin' disability!"
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Old 01-27-2013, 21:33   #60
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WarCry,

As a bonafide West Virginia Mountain William, I know folks who would fit that description to a 'T'. Once when I was a food sales rep, I called on one of my stores in Parsons WV., a lovely mountain village in Tucker Co. There was a sign near the door that advertised (no fool'n) "The Hick Festival" I chuckled a little at that and said, "There's a festival for just about everone now!", or some such. I got some long faces and some stern looks from some of the store employees. I told them straight up I WAS a West Virginian and could laugh about it if I wanted to. Didn't change anything.
I think everyone needs to loosen up a little (no matter who you are) and not take yourselves so seriously.
It always amazed my co-workers in Pittsburgh that I laughed at West Virginia jokes whenever one was told. Funny is funny as long as it isn't vulgar. Various counties and towns in WV have jokes told about them by adjoining communities. No one gets their tighties in a wad, so many have relatives or friends that are the carbon copy of the joke in real life...

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Old 01-27-2013, 22:20   #61
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Old 01-27-2013, 22:48   #62
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BillyBob ran into a couple of his friends. They tole him his dad was walking around town telling evaryone his son BillyBob was dumb as a donkey...that his boy Billy was as stubborn as a donkey, that Billybob was stupider than a donkey.

His friends asked him WHY did his paw keep saying such awful stuff?

Billybob said: He, he, he -haw, he - hawl ways say stuff like dat 'bout me.
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Old 01-27-2013, 23:11   #63
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hurricanes View Post
I know redneck is not a race, but it's a term used as a racial slur against certain white people.

Eric, I'm not offended by the term. Though maybe there are other members, or even paying sponsors that do not appreciate the term being thrown around. That is just my opinion, I'll let you boys get back at it.
It's like African Americans using "The N" word among themselves, if you fit the word you can use it in jokes. If you want to make Hispanic jokes on a primarily Hispanic Forum where they know your race you shouldn't offend anyone with a sense of humor.

Go buy a Jeff Foxworthy CD!
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Old 01-27-2013, 23:20   #64
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I think this country is far too hung up on who's a redneck, who's black, who's gay, who's a woman, ect. I personally would like to go back to the days when America was a "melting pot". That concept as all but died in our hyper partisan, P.C., world.

By the way, I haven't really heard any good jokes lately so I enjoyed reading what's been posted. Thanks.
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BTW when did this fantasy world exist? Was it on this planet?

Well I'm 100% American, I'm an English-Irish-Scottish-German-Swedish-Finnish-Mongol-Native American. So "The Melting Pot" fantasy world existed in The U.S.A.!
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Old 01-27-2013, 23:49   #65
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If you ever, EVER want to see something fun. Bring someone from California or New York down to my part of Kentucky. Get em in a conversation with some local people and sit back, grab the popcorn and watch them lose their minds. "What the hell did you just say?" "Dude this is giving me a headache". LMAO

However, I got to admit I've been to parts of Mississippi, Alabama and especially Louisiana that I couldn't decode what they were saying.

Ain't nuttin wrong being a redneck. I actually do write and type like I talk. I'm waiting for a break in the weather and the water temp to go up so I can go bluegill fishing.
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Old 01-27-2013, 23:59   #66
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Goofball is right. Open season on jokes and what not (everywhere, not just here) as long as it's towards whatever group is able to "handle" it. Step across the invisible PC line however and dare step on a toe of the more sensitive ones and you get into some kind of trouble. The funny part is, the "protectors" are actually the ones tipping their hand because they are the first to address a certain group's inability to just have a laugh like everyone else.

Let's see how long a "you might be from the ghetto..." thread would last.

That said, I like my redneck jokes.
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Old 01-28-2013, 00:37   #67
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I know it's not exactly 'news' but...

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Originally Posted by PBCounty View Post

...Let's see how long a "you might be from the ghetto..." thread would last...

Some groups are fair game here, others aren't.


(Hell, some are even 'fairer' than that...)


You've just picked one that isn't, is all...

HTH
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Old 01-28-2013, 07:05   #68
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If you are offended you might not be a redneck.

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Old 01-28-2013, 07:08   #69
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If you know how to carry a beaver so that it won't be able to bite off your nipple, you might be a redneck.
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Old 01-28-2013, 07:13   #70
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One day, Jim Bob was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup.

Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin.

"Bubba, where'd you git that truck?!?"

"Tammie Joe' gived it to me," Bubba replied.

"She gived it to ya?

I know'd she wuz kinda sweet on ya'll but a new truck?"

"Well, Jim Bob' let me tell you wut' happened. We wuz drivin' out in the woods, and it started to get dark see. Well, Tammie Joe' pulled off to the side of the road ask me if I wanted to walk with her in the moonlight.

So we starts to walking for a bit, and then all the sudden, she stops, turns towards me and says to look at that big moon. The moon was sure full and bright. I looked back at her, and she had hands held together in front of her, her head pushed forward, and her lips puckered up like she had just ate a lemon peel.

I said Tammie Joe, what are you doing? She said to me that could take whatever I want. So I did!
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Old 01-28-2013, 07:27   #71
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DNA checks are useless for identification in some parts of the country. Jus sayin...


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Old 01-28-2013, 08:05   #72
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DNA checks are useless for identification in some parts of the country. Jus sayin...


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Around here we call that "family trees that ain't got no branches..."
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Old 01-28-2013, 09:05   #73
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Around here we call that "family trees that ain't got no branches..."
Around here, we call them Family Wreathes. Eric
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Old 01-28-2013, 09:23   #74
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You might be a redneck if...........

You think Old Yeller is a movie about your brother's tooth.

You watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.

Your secret family recipe is illegal.

Your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.

Your baby's favorite teething ring is the garden hose in the yard.

Your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.

You think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.

Your best ashtray is a turtle shell.

Your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A.

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Old 01-28-2013, 09:44   #75
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You must be a redneck, if you construct a couch with a several of used tires. You'll eat anything that is found on a road.
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