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Old 01-10-2013, 21:26   #126
PrecisionRifleman
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Originally Posted by fnfalman View Post
Call HR and complain that you've been harassed. You're protected under the Veterans status, so get it on record now about your fellow employees discriminating against you. Two can play at that game.
^^This is spot on as much as I hate to say. I'm a Marine veteran and like the OP I have had a very similiar situation. I learned from my experience that you have to adapt to the culture and environment of corporate American which plays by different rules than the military. A wolf in sheeps clothing if you will.

Its a jungle, and a rat race for positions where there are some people who will try to sand bag you if they think you may get the promotion they are gunning for, or there are few people who if they simply don't like that you served because they don't agree with the military. I learned that I will never tell an employer what my billet was in the Corp or ever talk about the military at work when asked for this very reason. Don't be mistaken by the scenary and dress attire because you are in a war zone. Its just a different kind. Learning to politic is also essential if you aspire to really move up to an executive grade, and it will help you create alliances you can pull on when you need support and buy in for your ideas. Calling HR is the right choice, but do so when you have had time to calm and put together a plan consistent with your desired outcome. Good luck.

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Old 01-10-2013, 21:37   #127
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Originally Posted by The Fist Of Goodness View Post
I am a federal LEO, and work with very few women in the office. I have been told by two female co- workers that, prior to getting to know me, they were afraid of me because I looked mean.

I have also had several female witnesses tell me the same thing, and a female suspect pooped her pants during an interview. :eek:

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That's okay, I had a guy piss his pants, and had to smell that stuff for 8 hours. Talk about a sinus headache. I had a guy throw up once, but fortunately, it was in is own vehicle. Another guy pretended to pass out. That was just comical.
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Old 01-10-2013, 21:55   #128
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Originally Posted by jay-bird View Post
And Mexicans and Canadians? Part of North America. Call em Americans.
Actually, I knew a few people from this hemisphere who thought it odd how we claimed the title of Americans as they were residents from North and South America. And yes I am an American.
Just saying......


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Old 01-10-2013, 22:03   #129
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Originally Posted by Glock20 10mm View Post
So Monday I had a meeting with my boss (we have one every week or two to touch base and see where projects are going and what's coming up and so forth) and I get the normal "you're doing a great job!", "I am pleased with the data accuracy..." and so forth. Great! I am doing above and beyond and holding high standards for my job.

Then I get this bomb dropped on me... "There have been some complaints that you are intimidating people by your presence."

What did you just say boss? It appears that I am too masculine for where I work and that because I carry myself with confidence (I am not a small man, nor excessively large, 6'3" @ 215lbs) people are intimidated by me. I am polite and cordial when speaking to people. But apparently because I walk with my head up high, I look people in the eye when I speak to them and I speak with confidence and a deep solid resonating voice (what my woman tells me) I am intimidating and I have to "tone it down".

I had a very difficult time keeping my cool at this point of the conversation. But I made my point clear, I was raised in a Marine family with Marine discipline and pride. I was raised to be proud of who and what I am and to be confident in my abilities in life. I was raised to speak with pride and to be heard clearly and to not be ashamed of my ability to speak clearly. I then served 14 years before being medically separated, in the Navy and further solidified my confidence and pride.

I will not change who I am just because someone wets their pants at my presence. I was clear that this was out of line and that if this came up again I would pursue legal action. My boss pretty much agrees with me, but he has to tell me what's going on. Anyhow the conversation continued and apparently they have wimpification classes... and I have been signed up for a couple. I am not happy about it at all.

Yes, I still have my job. My superiors all know who I am and know I am a good man with solid conviction and I get the job done, on time and correct. But with this new bit of info I will be stepping up my search for a new job. But I ask myself... will it be any better anywhere else I go?
If there were broads in the office that complained about you, they want to sleep with you, bad. Just saying. Ask the boss for a list of complainants.
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Old 01-11-2013, 05:11   #130
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Originally Posted by Glock20 10mm View Post
I am working at a college (sadly one of the more liberal ones at that.)
Maybe you could try wearing pink shirts. Sounds like nonsense to me. It is your height and they are fraid of you.
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Old 01-11-2013, 05:52   #131
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Brad Pasiley's "I'm stii a guy" comes to mind.
Gay it up a little.... But not to much you don't want to have a too strong a "Presence"?
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Old 01-11-2013, 06:28   #132
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Originally Posted by Glock20 10mm View Post
I am working at a college (sadly one of the more liberal ones at that.)
So what we can infer is that your college is tolerant of men and women of all beliefs, race, sexual orientation, etc - EXCEPT men who actually act like men?

Liberal tolerance indeed.

Wonder what they would say if a gorgeous, well-put-together blonde lady were to apply for a job?

You could threaten to sue them for discrimination against you because you are vertically-enhanced, non-masculinity-deficient(by their standards at least) and because of your physical appearance and veteran status.

They might just have to rename the school Glock20 10mm University!
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Old 01-11-2013, 07:17   #133
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I faced a similar issue in the past; I was working as a security manager for major medical manufacturer and during a performance evaluation, I was told that I didn't smile enough.
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Old 01-11-2013, 07:36   #134
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Well just remember to turn your Aura down before you go into work. :ROLF:
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Old 01-11-2013, 08:18   #135
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PrecisionRifleman View Post
^^This is spot on as much as I hate to say. I'm a Marine veteran and like the OP I have had a very similiar situation. I learned from my experience that you have to adapt to the culture and environment of corporate American which plays by different rules than the military. A wolf in sheeps clothing if you will.

Its a jungle, and a rat race for positions where there are some people who will try to sand bag you if they think you may get the promotion they are gunning for, or there are few people who if they simply don't like that you served because they don't agree with the military. I learned that I will never tell an employer what my billet was in the Corp or ever talk about the military at work when asked for this very reason. Don't be mistaken by the scenary and dress attire because you are in a war zone. Its just a different kind. Learning to politic is also essential if you aspire to really move up to an executive grade, and it will help you create alliances you can pull on when you need support and buy in for your ideas. Calling HR is the right choice, but do so when you have had time to calm and put together a plan consistent with your desired outcome. Good luck.

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Think big, think positive, never show any sign of weakness. Always go for the throat. Buy low, sell high. Fear? That's the other guy's problem. Nothing you have ever experienced will prepare you for the absolute carnage you are about to witness. Super Bowl, World Series - they don't know what pressure is. In this building, it's either kill or be killed. You make no friends in the pits and you take no prisoners. One minute you're up half a million in soybeans and the next, boom, your kids don't go to college and they've repossessed your Bentley. Are you with me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by jay-bird View Post
And Mexicans and Canadians? Part of North America. Call em Americans.

No-Mericans!

"That dude is Mexican - he's a No-Merican!"
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Old 01-11-2013, 10:07   #136
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Originally Posted by Glock20 10mm View Post
...................I had a very difficult time keeping my cool at this point of the conversation.
I think with these words you just hit on what the primary problem is. Being proud of yourself and speaking with confidence is one thing, but being a person who has trouble keeping his cool over such a simple thing, is something else.

Learning to be more polite and friendly, even to those who's screw-ups are a real trial for you, is not something that will in any way interfere with projecting the confident attitude you prefer to display. That level of politeness and consideration to timid little weaklings does not subtract anything from ones manliness - it only adds another additional layer of manly qualities that too many people never learn to understand.

I hope you don't take this the wrong way, since I'm trying to help, but once you acquire this level of non-threatening posture toward timid people, you'll look back in hindsight and realize it's kind of like the way Hugh Hefner isn't afraid to wear a pink shirt. It won't make you any less of a confident Marine/man. It will make you more of a man. (not the pink shirt, but the attitude)

Sheep tend to develop great love and respect for those large men who could easily kick almost anyone's ass, yet display a personality that would never want to frighten anyone who isn't asking/needing to be frightened. You can easily do this while at the same time making it obvious to everyone that if push came to shove, you would not hesitate to be as aggressive as the situation required if confronted by someone who really needs to be intimidated for defensive reasons.

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Old 01-11-2013, 10:25   #137
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Originally Posted by gjk5 View Post
this thread made me LOL.


so much raw masculinity in GNG.......
After reading other peoples comments, I agree. It's why I don't expect my previous post to be properly understood by very many of the younger guys on GT.

Fact is, over-doing the whole "manly projection" thing is really just a mask people wear to hide inner doubts about themselves, and how they feel they compare to other people.

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Old 01-11-2013, 11:55   #138
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Pics of your girlfriend, or it didn't happen. :D

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theres always one
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Old 01-11-2013, 14:59   #139
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Originally Posted by John Rambo View Post
Common tactic used by police and other professional interrogators, denying use of restroom facilities. Sometimes it results in the subject messing themselves.
Part of the "Good Cop, Bad Cop" strategy. I wonder if they switch roles?
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Old 01-11-2013, 15:07   #140
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Dab on some Aqua Giorgio. You'll metro down instantly. HH
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Old 01-11-2013, 15:14   #141
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Originally Posted by Brucev View Post
Welcome to reality. You have to work with/get along with folks at work... co-workers and of course supervisors, etc. And... if you can't, then you are likely to be history. Adapt or find another job.
Actually one of the reasons I like my job is I rarely have to interface with live humans. I would say that 97% of my job is spent isolated from the liberal masses and the 3% of the time I have to face to face with people I am respectful but still carry myself erect and proud.
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Old 01-11-2013, 15:24   #142
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Originally Posted by Glock20 10mm View Post
Excellent! I didn't even think of that. But I suppose that's because I don't go running to "mommy" every time I think someone is doing me "wrong". I'll take you suggestion and run with it.
Or suggest that you will use your bosses skull as a bowl for your frosted flakes in the morning if he brings this up to you again....no don't say that might not work...
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Old 01-11-2013, 16:21   #143
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Welcome to the feminzation of America. It has been a war on masculinity since the mid 1960's.
Think I'm crazy? Lets take a look.
Less and less male teachers/roll models
Hand bags for men
Devaluing of the Warrior Class
Ritilin / other drugs for young boys who just can't sit still
The great society paying women to have babies - Where is the dad?
The list goes on and on.
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Old 01-11-2013, 16:36   #144
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Always the same six or seven people post that it is your fault. Then they degrade you for your attitude and behavior.

Find out who complained. Find out what their boggle is.
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Old 01-11-2013, 16:41   #145
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Originally Posted by GRIMLET View Post
Actually, I knew a few people from this hemisphere who thought it odd how we claimed the title of Americans as they were residents from North and South America. And yes I am an American.
Just saying......


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Americans are depicted as White guys in movies. In reality because we are nothing more than a Soros "Economic zone" it is hard to find the White guys anymore.

I have caught idiots stealing from cars in my area and they claim to be residents of the community..five miles away. That is the new culture...lie and deny who or what you are.
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Old 01-11-2013, 16:45   #146
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Originally Posted by Brian Lee View Post
I think with these words you just hit on what the primary problem is. Being proud of yourself and speaking with confidence is one thing, but being a person who has trouble keeping his cool over such a simple thing, is something else.

Learning to be more polite and friendly, even to those who's screw-ups are a real trial for you, is not something that will in any way interfere with projecting the confident attitude you prefer to display. That level of politeness and consideration to timid little weaklings does not subtract anything from ones manliness - it only adds another additional layer of manly qualities that too many people never learn to understand.

I hope you don't take this the wrong way, since I'm trying to help, but once you acquire this level of non-threatening posture toward timid people, you'll look back in hindsight and realize it's kind of like the way Hugh Hefner isn't afraid to wear a pink shirt. It won't make you any less of a confident Marine/man. It will make you more of a man. (not the pink shirt, but the attitude)

Sheep tend to develop great love and respect for those large men who could easily kick almost anyone's ass, yet display a personality that would never want to frighten anyone who isn't asking/needing to be frightened. You can easily do this while at the same time making it obvious to everyone that if push came to shove, you would not hesitate to be as aggressive as the situation required if confronted by someone who really needs to be intimidated for defensive reasons.
I think the op has a deep voice and is tall. That changes things. Facial hair also makes people look more manly and is intimidating. But in today's multicultural society you can't ever let your guard down. People are all out to steal your job, take your money and put you on the street. So be friendly but carry that big stick.
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Old 01-11-2013, 16:57   #147
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Originally Posted by repooc View Post
Welcome to the feminzation of America. It has been a war on masculinity since the mid 1960's.
Think I'm crazy? Lets take a look.
Less and less male teachers/roll models
Hand bags for men
Devaluing of the Warrior Class
Ritilin / other drugs for young boys who just can't sit still
The great society paying women to have babies - Where is the dad?
The list goes on and on.
Women must love you on a date. Lol
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Old 01-11-2013, 17:10   #148
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Are you also too sexy for your clothes?
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Old 01-11-2013, 17:54   #149
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So Monday I had a meeting with my boss (we have one every week or two to touch base and see where projects are going and what's coming up and so forth) and I get the normal "you're doing a great job!", "I am pleased with the data accuracy..." and so forth. Great! I am doing above and beyond and holding high standards for my job.

Then I get this bomb dropped on me... "There have been some complaints that you are intimidating people by your presence."

What did you just say boss? It appears that I am too masculine for where I work and that because I carry myself with confidence (I am not a small man, nor excessively large, 6'3" @ 215lbs) people are intimidated by me. I am polite and cordial when speaking to people. But apparently because I walk with my head up high, I look people in the eye when I speak to them and I speak with confidence and a deep solid resonating voice (what my woman tells me) I am intimidating and I have to "tone it down".

I had a very difficult time keeping my cool at this point of the conversation. But I made my point clear, I was raised in a Marine family with Marine discipline and pride. I was raised to be proud of who and what I am and to be confident in my abilities in life. I was raised to speak with pride and to be heard clearly and to not be ashamed of my ability to speak clearly. I then served 14 years before being medically separated, in the Navy and further solidified my confidence and pride.

I will not change who I am just because someone wets their pants at my presence. I was clear that this was out of line and that if this came up again I would pursue legal action. My boss pretty much agrees with me, but he has to tell me what's going on. Anyhow the conversation continued and apparently they have wimpification classes... and I have been signed up for a couple. I am not happy about it at all.

Yes, I still have my job. My superiors all know who I am and know I am a good man with solid conviction and I get the job done, on time and correct. But with this new bit of info I will be stepping up my search for a new job. But I ask myself... will it be any better anywhere else I go?

If you decide not to get to HR at least send you boss an email recapping his comments. You have to protect yourself before you get canned.
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Old 01-11-2013, 18:12   #150
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