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Old 06-25-2012, 17:55   #1
GioaJack
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A flatlander invaded Colorado!

As usual, I spent this past Saturday night entertaining the ladies with my Tom Selleck looks and Fred Astaire like dance moves. Not one to waste precious hours of life I returned to my abode in the wee, wee hours of the morning and looked forward to several hours of much needed slumber prior to the NASCAR race.

I had no sooner closed my eyes when I was roused totally and unmercifully awake by pounding on the back door. Fearing that it might be a member of our volunteer fire department attempting to warn me of a quickly spreading forrest fire I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter, (oops, wrong time of year, sorry).

I flung open the door expecting to see a helmeted, bunker coat adorned firefighter armed with either ax or hose. To my horror it was worse than I ever could have imagined... a flatlander was standing on my back deck! To make matters worse it wasn't just any run of the mill flatlander but aCalifornian Flatlander... it was GTR's very own FRED!

Instantly recognizing him, (he had his pet Cape Buffalo tied up to the deck railing), I slammed the door shut and headed back to bed. Unfortunately I neglected to lock the door and he burst in like he was serving a no knock warrant. Had it been Little Stevie or Zombie Stevie I simply would have let the world famous "Dawg" tear them limb from limb but since Fred was an out of state visitor I felt such action would reflect poorly on all Coloradans so I decided to allow him to remain in his relatively, albeit old state of health.

I'm not really sure why he showed up unannounced and so far from his communist run state and even though he tried to explain his presence all I really got out of it was something about his wife, a restraining order, an unfortunate incident with a sheep... or several sheep, I not sure on that point, and interstate flight to avoid prosecution. (I was very tired so I may not be relating his explanation verbatim but I'm sure you get the gist of it.)

I certainly don't want to cast aspersions on Fred's integrity when he regales us with his shooting acumen but I certainly hope he shoots better than he navigates... it turns out he ended up at my house by accident... he was aiming for Salt Lake City.

Seeing as how I was stuck with him I decided to make the best of it and agreed to let him stay for a few hours, although I'm still not sure why he dragged in 3 suitcases and a large steamer trunk. (I weighed them all when he brought them in and again before he took them back out. Wheel weights show up easily on a bathroom scale.)

Actually we had a very, very nice visit. Since I only keep corn flakes and milk in the house we availed ourselves of the local Mexican restaurant then spent some time on the lower deck with my daughter and son-in-law.

Just in case you don't know what Fred looks like when he's not posing next to a dead animal here are a couple photos.

Fred is the old one in the red shirt, the other two are my daughter and son-in-law. (I forget which one is which.)
Reloading

As you can tell, Fred doesn't move around a lot. He kept saying something about not being able to breath. (The sign hanging on the deck is my daughter's married name. As you can guess... she didn't marry an Italian. Rotten kid.)
Reloading

This photo was taken just moments before the horse sized dog lying next to my daughter attacked Fred. The dog doesn't put up with flatlanders either.
Reloading

It is my sincerest hope that Fred heals up enough to make another, yet longer visit... it was very enjoyable.


Jack
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Old 06-25-2012, 18:17   #2
DoctaGlockta
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Fred looks a lot younger in person. He'd look even younger without the Pornstache I imagine.

Hope you fellas had a nice visit.
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Old 06-25-2012, 18:35   #3
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We used to get a lot of that. They reach an age where they wander off. That's why the assisted living communities have keypad locks on the doors. He must have gone through Utah where some nice missionaries changed him out of his bathrobe.
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Old 06-25-2012, 18:38   #4
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Did he ride that large animal to your house?
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Old 06-26-2012, 08:56   #5
ron59
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Not at all what I imagined Fred to look like.
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Old 06-26-2012, 14:20   #6
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Did you see the nice pool Jack has in the 2nd picture.
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Old 06-26-2012, 14:24   #7
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Not at all what I imagined Fred to look like.
Looks can be deceiving. He looks intelligent.
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Old 06-26-2012, 14:36   #8
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Welcome to Colorado. Sorry I missed you.
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Old 06-26-2012, 15:12   #9
ron59
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Did you see the nice pool Jack has in the 2nd picture.
Careful. I think that's Dawgs drinking bowl.
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Old 06-26-2012, 16:37   #10
lethal tupperwa
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what is that pup going to be when it grows up?
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Old 06-26-2012, 19:43   #11
VN350X10
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More likely Fred Flintstone dance moves there Jack.....but that's for a future post.

Look at the bright side, your daughter (beautiful girl, must be adopted) did marry a gent whose last name ends with a vowel. So what if it isn't an "E".....


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Old 06-26-2012, 20:46   #12
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I find it ENDLESSLY amusing that Jack would refer to anyone ELSE as being elderly since he was consulted repeatedly as a reference for the first Lyman reloading manual
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Old 06-27-2012, 13:33   #13
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Yes, I did brave the fires & high temps to make a visit to Jack. Despite all his blustering, he's really quite the ole softy. FWIW, he's not old just well traveled, very well traveled. We spent a few hours chatting guns & politics & had a great lunch, thanks again Jack. I was only hoping he would fall asleep after lunch & could load up 300-400# of wheel weights, but he managed to stay awake thru all my rambling. BTW, I am not sure he didn't adopt his daughter, way too good looking & far too sweet to be his.
Jack is definitely a one of a kind diamond in the rough, I am glad I made the trip down the mountain from Montrose, where I was getting my *** handed to me @ the CO state IDPA match, to meet him. I hope ZOmbie's house is still there when he gets back & sorry I missed both he & little Stevie, maybe next trip. I got an invite to hunt elk this year or next, we'll see if the asylum keepers let me out again so soon. Take care Jack.
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Old 06-27-2012, 14:29   #14
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I have it on good authority that Jack actually helped Sam Ting invent gunpowder...


(at least I'm not alone on the adoption theory !)


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Old 06-27-2012, 16:26   #15
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Originally Posted by labdwakin View Post
I find it ENDLESSLY amusing that Jack would refer to anyone ELSE as being elderly since he was consulted repeatedly as a reference for the first Lyman reloading manual
Just like him calling everyone else a flatlander. Being he is from Florida were a 10 foot high pile of dirt is considered a mountain.
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Old 06-27-2012, 17:25   #16
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Just like him calling everyone else a flatlander. Being he is from Florida were a 10 foot high pile of dirt is considered a mountain.
A very good point, but I like to let him have his illusions. I at least grew up in the mountains of Kalifornia.
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Old 06-27-2012, 19:16   #17
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This is starting to sound like a "Jack Attack" !


Jack is SO old that he ____________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________ !


Fill in as you will.


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Old 06-27-2012, 21:49   #18
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Fred I have to ask, Did he only serve you Miracle grow all day?
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Old 06-27-2012, 22:39   #19
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Fred I have to ask, Did he only serve you Miracle grow all day?
Yeah, lunch & Miracle Grow chaser.
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Old 06-27-2012, 23:18   #20
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Yeah, lunch & Miracle Grow chaser.
Chris called me the other day about heading up there and hanging out with you at the IDPA. Just waiting for him to give me a set date and Ill be there. I still need that tape for my mold. Been so busy lately Ive been MIA.
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se carga el diablo de la pistola...
25acp,.223,25-20win,.308, 8mm M, 7mm Rem Mag, 9mm,.40,10mm .45acp, .475 Wildey Mag
On 2 Hornady LNL's And a Super 1050

As Reloaders we should adapt the load to the gun, not the gun to the load.
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