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Old 05-17-2012, 20:11   #201
tous
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Well played, sir.
You are, of course, aware of the pivotal role that crullers played in the Trojan War.
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Old 05-17-2012, 20:57   #202
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Do we need to discuss the elephant ears?

I am not sure what species the pastry cartels are going after next. To be honest the pastry cartels scare me. If they cut off their product there will be riots in the street.
The Funnel Cake Cartel seems poised to make its move into the big time. The elephant ears people wouldn't have a chance against such aggression.
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Old 05-18-2012, 05:43   #203
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The only reason the North won the civil war was because they had GPS
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Old 05-18-2012, 05:48   #204
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The only reason the North won the civil war was because they had GPS
They even had that GPS on their snorkeling, diesel/electric subs too, which the Union's submarines kept the Chinese' Navy from helping the Confederates take over Saudi Arabia when they needed more oil.
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Old 05-18-2012, 05:56   #205
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The singer Johnny Horton, the one who witnessed the Battle of New Orleans and had been decorated for heroism afterward, also co-wrote the poem titled, "These Eggs Ain't Poultry, Who the Hell Ate My Last Piece of Chicken?," with General Andrew Jackson after week long binge of celebrating the victory of the Battle at New Orleans.
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Old 05-18-2012, 06:00   #206
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Total canard, myth, falsehood. when ranchers began raising them for their wings evironmentalists got upset and worried that if the buffalo spread to the Rocky Mountains it would endanger the Rocky Mountain Oyster population.
The growing urbanization of America in the closing decades of the nineteenth century led to many fashion changes, as men eschewed wide brimmed hats and women were freed from their Mother Hubbard bonnets.
Parasols were replaced by handbags, sunroofs and convertibles replaced Conestogas.
No longer protected from the falling ordure of flying buffalos' fecal bombs, it became necessary to consume buffalo wings to keep them grounded. It's still important to watch your step, but today it's almost safe enough to look up at the sky.

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Old 05-18-2012, 06:08   #207
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Col. Sanders led the Chickenhawk Battalion at the Battle of Chickamauga and captured vital documents, including the ancient scroll listing eleven secret herbs and spices.
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Old 05-18-2012, 06:47   #208
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During the Battle of Chickamauga, Col. Sanders ordered the execution of Foghorn Leghorn after he was tried and found guilty of corporate spying and espionage. At the time of his arrest, he was found with documents linking him back to Popeye's Fired Chicken.
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Old 05-18-2012, 06:57   #209
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A day before offering IPO's to the public, Mark Zuckerberg, who is Facebook's founder and CEO, penned a letter to potential investors stating in part, "...[Facebook] is based on a solid foundation of angry birds and imaginary sheep."
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Old 05-18-2012, 08:14   #210
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Well played, sir.
You are, of course, aware of the pivotal role that crullers played in the Trojan War.
I guess I must ask......tell me about crullers.
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Old 05-18-2012, 08:22   #211
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Pontus Pilate was an avid yoga instructor and his name is still related to the stretching system.
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Old 05-18-2012, 08:31   #212
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The Okie Corral
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Old 05-18-2012, 10:10   #213
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The Okie Corral


Love it.
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Old 05-18-2012, 10:30   #214
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Few people today remember that the modern tradition of "Trick or Treat" at Halloween dates back to the ancient Celtic tradition of "Arkan Farl", a brutal custom under which children would be forced to wander by each house in a given village and either be gifted with warm pastries, or randomly attacked by a savage, knife-weilding Druidic priest against whom they would have to fight to the death before moving on to the next hut.

After running the gauntlet of each hut in the village, the few surviving children left would be permitted to eat the pastries they collected while the fallen children would simply be left as decorations in front of the huts where they were killed.

Nobody knows why the Celts engaged in this ritual, other than to speculate that the threat of an "Arkan Farl" festival was used by Celtic parents to ensure absolute obedience and good manners from their kids.
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Old 05-18-2012, 10:43   #215
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The only reason the North won the civil war was because they had GPS

Couldnt stop laughing...
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Old 05-18-2012, 12:20   #216
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During Apollo 13's mission to the moon, Astronauts smuggled Taco Bell onto the space capsule. The farts let out by the crew after consuming their meals resulted in an overpressurization of the capsule......
If your going to be technical at least write technically. It should be "intergluteal explosions"
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Old 05-18-2012, 12:41   #217
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Well played, sir.
You are, of course, aware of the pivotal role that crullers played in the Trojan War.

The Trojan war was, of course, named by the winners and allowed then to gain the lions share of shelf space for their product in pharmacies across the world.
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Old 05-18-2012, 17:27   #218
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The "Supergun" Iraq was building to shell Tel Aviv was actually chambered in 10mm.
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Old 05-18-2012, 18:50   #219
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GM makes the BEST CAR EVER! The VOLT changes the way Americans think about energy conservation leads to Obama's reelection. They cannot produce enough for American consumption so China opens factories to help ease American production.
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Old 05-18-2012, 21:11   #220
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The "Supergun" Iraq was building to shell Tel Aviv was actually chambered in 10mm.
... and the batch of NORMA 10mm ammo used for the first round of the Supergun acceptance testing was, most unfortunately, produced on a Friday. The pressure variance problems. for which NORMA 10mm loads were famous, were therefore accentuated by all the distraction of workers mentally preparing for weekend partying. One round created an overpressure condition that ruptured the first two sections of the Supergun barrel. The program never truly recovered from this mishap.
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Old 05-18-2012, 21:46   #221
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The fact that there were samurai rabbits has been proven a hoax.

Not only have there never been nor are there now rabbits, hares or bunnies in Japan with the possible exception of Bugs Bunny, but the strict social order of the culture made it improbable that a cute, fuzzy bunny could rise from woodland creature class into the warrior caste.

There were and are today ninja warrior turtles.
That's an indisputable fact.
I seen it on the TV.

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Old 05-18-2012, 22:32   #222
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The origin of the Tuxedo Cat

My tuxedo cat Gunny just wandered in, gave me a nudge and a wink to remind me to post about his origins.

Most, if not all, people know that cats were worshiped in Ancient Egypt. Archeologists have even found complete tombs with mummified cats in their own little coffins.

What is less well known is the early diplomatic links that Egyptian cats had with their various cousins around the world. Particularly in times of war the Egyptian cats kept in close touch with their counter-parts on the opposing side.

There was such a need for diplomacy, the Order Of The Tuxedo Cat was formed and small tuxes were knitted by the Pharaohs wives. Cats in these early tuxes could easily get through enemy lines posing as waiters and relay messages back and forth.

This is one of the reasons for the long reign of the Egyptian Empire and the Pharaohs. And as time went on the Pharaohs wives carried on the tradition of knitting these small tuxes for the Tuxedo Cat Corp.

The Egyptian Empire would probably still reign today except for an unfortunate accident. Rames III second wife simply could not keep knit-one pearl-two straight and thus the Empire started to disintegrate from lack of diplomatic connections and small tuxes.

The Tuxedo Cat Corp got exceedingly grumpy about the whole mess and took it upon themselves to create their own tuxes using their own hair...and thus the Tuxedo Cat was born.

Today you can still see remnants of the Tuxedo Cat Corp in the regal bearing of all Tuxedo Cats. However they refuse to admit they crossed enemy lines as waiters. Instead they insist they used false passports and posed as Ninja-cats.

This can't be true of course since everyone knows Ninja-cats evolved after Tuxedo cats.
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Old 05-19-2012, 00:15   #223
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People don't know that settlers seeking land and the United States Army didn't conquer the western frontier -- Chuck Norris did, after going through a time loop to Dodge City, Kansas, in 1867.
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Old 05-19-2012, 00:24   #224
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Adolph Hitler suffered from "Pseudoflatulaphobia" an inordinate fear of Whoopie Cushions.
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Old 05-19-2012, 01:11   #225
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The prototype unimog was first used in the Oklahoma land run of 1889. It was used by my Great great grandfather to secure the property that is now downtown Oklahoma City. Also, he cheated, jumped the gun as a "Sooner". You just can't stop a unimog on horseback.
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