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Old 05-14-2012, 19:34   #141
itisbruno
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In 1976, an Tennessee family visiting New York City stood at a broken DON'T WALK sign for three days.
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Old 05-14-2012, 19:35   #142
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Originally Posted by MARKDANIEL View Post
Back in wwII we were running short of rifles so we issued our troops sticks. The troops were told to point the stick and say bang. One troop reported it worked great. He shot and killed several germans by pointing his stick and saying bang.
I would only believe this if we were fighting the French in WWII!

Wren
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Old 05-14-2012, 19:44   #143
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Thomas Edison was the first person in history to say "is that how my voice really sounds?"
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Old 05-14-2012, 20:57   #144
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The slide rule was invented by Abbott and Costello. When they were told the Abacus was first their reply was no he's on second...and the rest is history
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Old 05-14-2012, 21:21   #145
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The statue of Liberty was built in France before being shipped over to the US. In order to make it seem more realistic, it was based on a real live female model. She was encased in a claylike medium with more material added on and nose holes to breath thru. After the medium was built up and hardened past a certain point, she was to be gently cut out of it and the base structure continued with more material added till the statue was full size.

Thing is, her mouth hole was blocked, and the time to cut her out came right around the time to go home. Someone forgot and then the sculpture crew went to a cafe to drink some wine.

They completely forgot by the time they came in the next morning all hung over, and the work continued with the woman trapped inside. She eventually got all sealed up and it wasn't till the full sized finished statue was on a boat for the new world that someone finally remembered, but by then it was too late and they decided to keep their mouths shut since she had to be long dead by then.

Give us your huddled masses, yearning to breathe free takes on a whole new meaning. Remember that the next time you go past on the Staten Island ferry. She's still in there.
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Old 05-14-2012, 21:30   #146
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After the first time his wife called him, Alexander Graham Bell invented the "Mute" button.
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Old 05-14-2012, 21:47   #147
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In 480 BC, King Leonidas stood in a hopeless position, facing Hitler's vaulted Eighteenth Mountain Corps as they prepared to strike through Thermopylae and into the heart of Greece. As the Nazis prepared to advance, even Spartan dedication and ferocity appeared useless in the face of Germany's elite mountain forces, tanks and overwhelming air support.

Fortunately for Leonidas and his 300 completely overmatched troops, the Germans realized after speaking with a local sheepherder that they were roughly 2400 years too early and decided to go home.

The Spartan's relief was shortlived, however, as Xerxes, who had been delayed for a few days seeking road directions at a local Buc-ee's, arrived less than an hour later with 400,000 Persian soldiers and a more accurate calendar.
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Old 05-14-2012, 22:02   #148
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Nobody has been more misunderstood in history more than the Goths. They are blamed for much trouble and evil that was not really their fault. There was a genetic problem in their people that affected their eyesight. After bifocals were invented by Benjamin Franklin, they became really nice people and were afterword referred to as the "Visigoths".
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Old 05-14-2012, 22:52   #149
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I went to Walmart over the weekend. I bought some nachos and munched on those as I made my way over to the sporting goods department to buy some super cheap 10mm ammo.

On my way there, I took a detour through electronics. It looked like they were playing a documentary about man made global warming. With how guilty I felt about my own contribution toward global warming with my steady diet of Taco Bell, I was compelled to watch it, if only to find out what I could do to personally prevent the ice caps from melting. I had plenty of time to kill, since I wasn't even close to half way through my nachos.

Walking towards the back wall, I saw this blonde standing by the tvs. She had a decent body for sure. As I got closer, I think she smelled my nachos because she turned around. She smiled at me..... kinda. What caught my attention were her eyes. There was something about them that wasn't quite right. But then my gaze lowered. They didn't look real, but hey, I'm not picky. Then she spoke, and after a few more seconds I went back to making eye contact. She asked for some of my nachos, to which I obliged her request. The look in her eyes made me think that if I didn't, the S might HTF.

She started blabbering on about this tv she was looking at. She said she used to have one just like it, but some guy took it from her place while she was at Bible study. I don't know what it was about this tv, but she wouldn't shut up about it. Just on and on and on. I think it was a Sony.

All of a sudden I got this feeling of dread. I started sweating profusely, my heart rate increased, I started shaking, and I had goosebumps. I thought to myself "Noooooo, it CAN'T be!"

Just to be sure, I motioned to offer her some more nachos, but reached in and tickled her. At that moment, I saw her teeth. They were jacked..... It was discusting.

I turned as fast as I could and made for the door like Rosie O'donnel going after a cupcake. I ran past the registers, took out the greeter with a ninja style jump kick (taught to me by Chuck Norris himself), and ran through the parking lot to my truck. I floored the gas, and in a flash I was out of there. Thank God she didn't follow me.


Contrary to what I had been told, open carry of my G20 did not prevent this.
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Old 05-14-2012, 23:07   #150
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The 10mm cartridge was developed by Hitler's engineers during World War II, to be used as an anti-tank round. It later found favor by the self defense crowd, and was adapted for hand gun use. It is a little known fact that U.S. Special forces use it as a very effective "bunker buster" round.
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Old 05-15-2012, 02:12   #151
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Believing in total equality, Soviet Russia adopted he AK-47 as a replacement for the Mosin Nagant in order to give other nations a fair chance.

The big bang was caused when a punch from Mr. T and a kick from Chuck Norris collided.

Obama paid your rent, your power bill, and put gas in your tank.
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Old 05-15-2012, 02:30   #152
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After the first time his wife called him, Alexander Graham Bell invented the "Mute" button.
, how can you not love this thread











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Old 05-15-2012, 04:24   #153
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Last time I was at Arches National Park, I struck up a conversation with a group of German tourists. I went on an on about how amazing it was that the American Indians had carved all of these wonderful arch shapes using nothing but primitive hand tools.


The ranger that was within earshot was not amused.
Sounds like something I'd do. Love it
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Old 05-15-2012, 07:29   #154
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Helen of Troy was indeed "The face that launched 1000 ships." What is not as well known is that the ships launched to PREVENT her from coming home when she got homesick. Apparently she was a bit of a nagger.
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Old 05-15-2012, 07:30   #155
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Hurricane Katrina did not destroy New Orleans. A local day care's 2-year-old class went on a field trip and the teacher went to the restroom, leaving the kids unsupervised. In fact, had Katrina not come in the damage would have been much worse, as the class cut short the field trip before they got to the French quarter.

Anyone who has had kids - especially boys - will appreciate this.
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Old 05-15-2012, 08:24   #156
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Hurricane Katrina did not destroy New Orleans. A local day care's 2-year-old class went on a field trip and the teacher went to the restroom, leaving the kids unsupervised. In fact, had Katrina not come in the damage would have been much worse, as the class cut short the field trip before they got to the French quarter.

Anyone who has had kids - especially boys - will appreciate this.

I have a daughter that's about to turn 4. This isn't far off...



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Old 05-15-2012, 17:25   #157
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The U.S. Senate passed a budget.
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Old 05-15-2012, 17:45   #158
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Since 1972, US Customs Agents have trained their dogs to distinguish the difference between Cuban and all other cigars.
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Old 05-15-2012, 18:04   #159
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Massive Pentagon-leased super computers have detected a trend that between Jan 5, 2007 and July 14, 2009, Okie posted a thread about new food discoveries only on odd-numbered days during months that had R in them.

The pattern was only discovered when seismic shifts in certain commodities buying was revealed to such an extent as to threaten the nation's food supply. The logisticians became concerned and dug deeper when whole supermarket rows of spam and various junk food would periodically be wiped out after certain online internet activity, causing purchasing agents to place such massive replenishment orders as to alter the nation's rail schedules. The demand for corn alone had the USDA sending out "plant heavy" advisories to farmers and even threatened the ethanol supply which spiked the price of oil between harvests when backfill wasn't available.

This was the original reason why the Government started monitoring GT, they originally thought it was terrorists trying to screw with the economy.
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Old 05-15-2012, 18:17   #160
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Benjamin Franklin invented lysergic acid diethylamide.

I actually read that on a Wiki article once. It was hilarious.
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