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Old 02-23-2013, 20:19   #676
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Zebco stole all its GOOD ideas from Ronco!
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Old 02-23-2013, 21:36   #677
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So the truth will out.
Peace Warrior is older than Dragoon44.

In fact, everyone knows of Zebco's contribution to the manned space program. It is a commonly-known fact that as a contingency if the lunar module engine did not fire, Michael Collins had a Zebco reel on a big ol' pole that he would have used to cast down to the lunar surface, hook the lander and reel them in.

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Old 02-23-2013, 21:39   #678
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See, I didn't know any others who frequent this thread knew the truth about the landers. I thought I could tell the truth in such a manner that it seemed a lie. But I was found out...


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Old 02-23-2013, 22:07   #679
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See, I didn't know any others who frequent this thread knew the truth about the landers. I thought I could tell the truth in such a manner that it seemed a lie. But I was found out...


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It was a worthy effort. Now, if you can tell a lie in such a manner that it seems a truth, you will have hit the perfecta!
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Old 02-23-2013, 23:17   #680
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Scientists predict it will be possible to crossbreed bacon and potatoes by 2017


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Old 02-24-2013, 12:07   #681
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Scientists predict it will be possible to crossbreed bacon and potatoes by 2017


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There is a God.



Speaking of vegetables and tubers, what can we call them little cabbages if they don't come from Brussels? Displaced sprouts? Immigrant sprouts? Little round green refugee thingies?

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Old 02-25-2013, 19:08   #682
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So the truth will out.
Peace Warrior is older than Dragoon44. ...
No sir, no one is that old. I just happen to possess several, shall we say, compromising photographs of a couple of time travelers, which affords me great latitude with respect to the past's future.
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Old 02-25-2013, 19:14   #683
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See, I didn't know any others who frequent this thread knew the truth about the landers. I thought I could tell the truth in such a manner that it seemed a lie. But I was found out...


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Were it not for time traveling marsupials, all of history's future would be a lie.
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Old 02-25-2013, 19:19   #684
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There is a God.



Speaking of vegetables and tubers, what can we call them little cabbages if they don't come from Brussels? Displaced sprouts? Immigrant sprouts? Little round green refugee thingies?

One thing is for sure, Amy Vanderbilt's Complete Book of Etiquette, on page 77, indicates that one should NEVER address mud-bugs as "midget ocean roaches." This terminology is considered crass and disrespectful. The much preferred moniker is "little lobsters."

Page 78 has some great recipes nonetheless.
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Old 02-25-2013, 19:23   #685
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Climb Mount Kurobegorō was naval General Yamamato's first choice when trying to decide on a cryptic message to indicate the attack on Pearl Harbor had caught the island's defenses unaware, but pressure from his staff, due to the difficulty in spelling Kurobegorō, had him ultimately change the message to climb Mount Tinaka.
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Old 02-25-2013, 19:40   #686
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Climb Mount Kurobegorō was naval General Yamamato's first choice when trying to decide on a cryptic message to indicate the attack on Pearl Harbor had caught the island's defenses unaware, but pressure from his staff, due to the difficulty in spelling Kurobegorō, had him ultimately change the message to climb Mount Tinaka.
... and to compound the foulup, a dyslexic crypto clerk preparing the message garbled it down to "Climb Mount Nitaka".

This transformation almost directed the Japanese fleet to attack Coney Island.
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Old 02-25-2013, 20:02   #687
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... and to compound the foulup, a dyslexic crypto clerk preparing the message garbled it down to "Climb Mount Nitaka".

This transformation almost directed the Japanese fleet to attack Coney Island.
Tell the entire truth, ya danged numpty.

The Empire of Japan did indeed attack Coney Island in the spring of 1941.

However, the invasion force was distracted by the Nathan's Famous hot dog stand and as the US Ambassador to Japan had handed out free tickets for a ride on the Wonder Wheel, the entire invasion force was disabled with indigestion and vertigo.

Adding to the difficulty was the blatant rudeness of the native New Yorkers. When informed that they were surrounded and must surrender, most of them, male and female, young and old, grabbed their crotch and challenged, "Surrender this!"

The Imperial Japanese Navy decided to attack Pearl Harbor, Hawaii instead. Admiral Yamamoto's staff concluded that there were no New Yorkers, hot dogs or Ferris wheels on the islands, but the deciding factor was, oddly, the ukulele.

Long-secret documents only recently released indicate that the Japanese had determined that the ukulele and the flowered shirt signalled the end of civilization and the Imperial Navy was determined to stop both before they spread and doomed all humanity.

A sneaky rabbit from the 23rd century was spotted smuggling ukuleles and flowered shirts to Wyoming shortly before the attack.
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Old 02-25-2013, 20:05   #688
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Breaking news........today a liberal listened to reason and thought before speaking
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Old 02-25-2013, 20:05   #689
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Breaking news........today a liberal listened to reason and thought before speaking
Unpossible.
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Old 02-25-2013, 20:16   #690
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One consequence of that little known spring 1941 attack. By an unbelievable coincidence, the attack fell on the very day of the annual Nathan"s hot dog eating contest. Admiral Yamamoto, observing the "carnage", made his famous observation: You cannot invade Americal - there would be a rifle behind every wiener!
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Old 02-25-2013, 20:19   #691
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A Kansas DOT snow-plow driver has found two snowflakes that are exactly alike.
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Old 02-25-2013, 20:23   #692
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Update:

Ed "Catch You On The Flip Flop" Parkins, a 25 year veteran of Kansas' DOT, was reported to have found two snowflakes that were exactly alike; however, after submitting the specimens to a local university, it was discovered that the DOT worker had inadvertently altered the snowflakes himself while standing just off the highway he was plowing in order to conduct a 10-100.

The professors at the college advised they first suspected something was awry upon opening the samples and finding them yellow in color.
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Old 02-26-2013, 14:48   #693
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Tous and PW decided to have a coffee break and met up at the local six bucks (i.e., star bucks) coffee shop in Plain Old, Texas. .

Upon seeing Tous' facial expression, PW inquired, "My good man, I perceive you've had a really long day?" Amazed at how uneducated PW seemed, Tous replied, "No sir, not at all, all my days are 24 hours long."


(Much grass to GT's cybercowboy)
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"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
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Old 02-26-2013, 16:25   #694
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As a scientist and an engineer, I would never have used such a gross approximation.

For the record, my actual response was, "No sir, not at all, all my days, if we are referring to sidereal days, are 23 hours, 56 minutes and 3 seconds long. If we are talking about solar days, that would depend on which hemisphere we're in and what season it is. However, the mean solar day is about 24 hours, so I will stipulate that all my days are 24 hours long."



NB: having coffee with Peace Warrior was even better than sharing a milkshake with Ming the Merciless and Dale Arden. As she is wont to do, Dale escaped from Ming shortly thereafter, but Ming had become pragmatic. He knew that he would have her in his clutches yet again in the next serial. And I did ask him if Darth Vader was really his grandson. His reponse was an enigmatic smile and a nude photograph of Aura.
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Old 02-27-2013, 07:16   #695
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Extended coverage: After a liberal listened to reason and thought before speaking, when he did speak, he sounded exactly like a liberal would sound after listening to reason and thinking liberal thoughts before speaking, which is not too much different than a republican, whom is strikingly similar to a democrat nowadays.

In other news, researchers from several universities here in the united States have found that republicans and democrats are really hardcore independents at heart, but since having watched to much fox, ccn, and msnbc, they are now incapable of thinking for themselves.
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Old 02-27-2013, 08:49   #696
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In related news, several members of Congress were discovered to be completely mute for more than 13 hours on Tuesday. Witnesses were astonished at the condition of the legislators who usually begin speaking from the moment they wake, talk in their sleep and commence a new barrage of rhetoric upon waking. The condition appears to have also spread to the talking heads that frequently appear on news programs. A spokesperson for MSNBC denied that the station was off the air for six hours because none of the on-air personalities could utter a word.

Update: muteness explained. It appears that the Democratic National Committee was late in distributing the list of daily talking points to Democrat members of Congress and their minions. Apparently, without the official copy, no Democrat could think of a thing to say.
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Old 03-05-2013, 18:21   #697
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Hasn't DNC moved its talking points list to the web...yet?


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Old 04-22-2013, 21:07   #698
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Much in similarity as to how the term, jambog, was coined by the members at the website, GlockTalk.com, in the last few years, so too the term, bogart, was coined in the 50's by those who hung around and or knew the GT member, Dragoon44.

The word bogart, as it is known today, refers to an individual of either gender that keeps inhaling the smoke from a marijuana cigarette while at the same time refusing to pass it around to others.

When reached for comment, Draggoon44 said nothing, so it is believed the etymology of "bogart" had an initial derivation around the time when drive-in theaters were popular amongst teenagers and younger adults as was huge buckets of buttered popcorn. It is known that Draggoon44 was working as a drive-in movie theater ticket-taker, was also nicknamed Bogart, and had a HUGE affinity for buckets of buttery popcorn.

Although needing additional citation, it is believed that those individuals whom refused to share the buttery popcorn buckets with other movie goers were known as Bogart's in reference to the actions of Dragoon44.

In his 35 years as a ticket taker at the drive-in theater, it is believed that not one individual was able to make into the theater, for free, by hiding in the trunk.
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Old 04-22-2013, 23:37   #699
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Barack Hussein Obama has been the brightest and best president in the history of the United States and he deserves to be made Emperor of the World.
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Old 04-23-2013, 02:22   #700
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Barack Hussein Obama has been the brightest and best president in the history of the United States and he deserves to be made Emperor of the World.
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