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Old 12-14-2012, 21:17   #626
Peace Warrior
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Huaco Kid View Post
Don't be so superfluous.
Exactly!!!


WB HK!
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Old 12-14-2012, 23:06   #627
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I invented shoelaces.

Back then, I called them "Leather Footwear Retainers".

That Dr. Scholl guy totally ripped me off.
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Old 12-15-2012, 05:50   #628
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Dear Tous,

Anyone, and allow me to first repeat, and again emphasize, and then allow me to both again RE-repeat and reemphasize, that anyone, including yourself Sir, who would first properly use the word, -aplomb-, within an internet posting, and then so recklessly misspell such a common word as is -completely-, is someone whom I will not, I repeat Sir, I will not argue with over such an obviously inconsequential matter as is this subject of one's intellect.

I am innocent of this misspelling, my good sir. A thorough examination of my keyboard by the most distinguished men of science presents undeniable evidence that the Huaco Kid sneaked into my keyboard under darkness of night when no man of good breeding is about and swiped the letter 'l' in question.

A can only conclude that such a craven act was intended to cause the greater public to hold me in ridicule and besmirch, nay, blacken my spotless reputation.

This shall not go unanswered.


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Old 12-15-2012, 10:56   #629
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Tous, I salute your vehemence in declaring that this shall not go unanswered.
.
.
.
.
Do you remember the question?
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Old 12-15-2012, 14:17   #630
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Until further notice, uppity obedient servants will continue to be whipped until morale improves.
Humble is a different topic, altogether.
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Old 12-15-2012, 16:04   #631
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Tous, I salute your vehemence in declaring that this shall not go unanswered.
.
.
.
.
Do you remember the question?
I assure you that my mental faculties are in perfect working order and as sharp, nay, honed to a fine razor's edge, as when I was a mere stripling.

I humbly suggest that you are confusing the insidious larceny of letters from my remarkably cogent writings as a sign of dementia customarily associated with old age.

Now, if you will kindly excuse me, I need prune juice and a nap.

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Old 12-15-2012, 16:21   #632
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tous View Post

Now, if you will kindly excuse me, I need prune juice and a nap.

Let it Loose, Sister.
Exile on Main Street predicted this in the '70's.
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Old 12-16-2012, 12:00   #633
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In 2052, Lindsey Lohan will violate her parole with her obnoxious behavior in reaction to info that displeases her at a Social Security office.
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Old 12-17-2012, 06:25   #634
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Famous Inventors You've Never Heard About...

Marcus "Old Slippery" Splatchcock: While stationed in Alaska, Marcus used his off time invent Moon Tan Oil. He was sure the product would take off in his locale, but he could never get enough interest. He finished a successful, 23 year career in the Air Force.

The Huaco Kid: After the invention of leather footwear, and over a decade of research and development, HK was able to invent a product he called Leather Footwear Retainers. However, prior to HK patenting his invention, Dr. Scholl's introduced a product called Shoelaces to the market place, which Dr Scholl's Shoelaces effectively pulled the rug out from under Leather Footwear Retainers. HK went on to serve an uneventful career as a mercenary sniper, for various law enforcement agencies' SWAT Teams around the US, until the infamous "Old Navy Incident," in which an innocent bystander was mistakenly killed.

Monsieur Tous: This sagacious sage and possessor of a keenly shrewd intellect invented the Anti-Key Theft Computer Keyboard Device. However, Tous' Anti-Key Theft Computer Keyboard Device was so overly complicated to install that only those possessing the talent to finish putting together gas grills in less than an hour could actually install the device. Undeterred, and in order to create a crack Anti-Key Theft Computer Keyboard Device Geek Squad, Monsieur Tous hired a headhunter company to search the country for the finest Lawn & Garden employees Wal-Mart had to offer.

However, due to an unnoticed spellchecker-misspeak in the headhunter's email solicitations, Monsieur Tous' newly formed Anti-Key Theft Computer Keyboard Device company ended up with an overly talented Glee Squad, which was comprised solely of those eternally positive and forever smiling door greeters. A member of the Glee Squad cheerfully pointed out that an easier solution, to stop the rampant -I- key theft going on in the world, would be by first simply removing the -I- key, and then placing a drop of super glue under the key before reinstalling the key.

Currently, Monsieur Tous is a highly sought after public speaker traveling the world giving lectures about the importance of knowing the differences between a case and casing.
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Last edited by Peace Warrior; 12-17-2012 at 06:47..
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Old 12-17-2012, 06:42   #635
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You failed to mention that I am a recognized connoisseur of quadrupedal ruminants of the ovis aries species.

And I suspect, though I cannot conclusively prove at this time, that the Huaco Kid swiped my 'l' from a previous post in order to promote his Leather Footwear Retainer business. Such villainy knows no bounds and shall not go unpunished.

And, may I take this opportunity to direct your attention to my latest invention. Though the details must remain abstruse until politicians have been purchased or rented, consider a system of numbers that is so simple, even one such as Samurai Rabbit can easily perform the most amazing feats of computation without aid of a calculating device.

Coming soon to a WalMart near you.
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Old 12-17-2012, 19:02   #636
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tous View Post


You failed to mention that I am a recognized connoisseur of quadrupedal ruminants of the ovis aries species.

And I suspect, though I cannot conclusively prove at this time, that the Huaco Kid swiped my 'l' from a previous post in order to promote his Leather Footwear Retainer business. Such villainy knows no bounds and shall not go unpunished.

And, may I take this opportunity to direct your attention to my latest invention. Though the details must remain abstruse until politicians have been purchased or rented, consider a system of numbers that is so simple, even one such as Samurai Rabbit can easily perform the most amazing feats of computation without aid of a calculating device.

Coming soon to a WalMart near you.
cannot beg n to fathom the depths at wh ch you would go n order to even a score; however, before one such as yourself goes on your merry l ttle way so as to create a new nvent on, and others would humbly asked that you f rst work out the "bugs" w th regards to your prev ous nvent on.

W th as much hum l ty as can muster,

PW

Post Scr pt: Bes des, no one can nvent anyth ng so s mple as to allow an mmed ate prof c ency of use for such an one as Samura Rabb t.
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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"You gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?" - Josey Wales

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Old 12-17-2012, 20:48   #637
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I'm way ahead of ALL you guys! I get a kickback every time a vowel is used in this thread.
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Old 12-18-2012, 10:28   #638
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cannot beg n to fathom the depths at wh ch you would go n order to even a score; however, before one such as yourself goes on your merry l ttle way so as to create a new nvent on, and others would humbly asked that you f rst work out the "bugs" w th regards to your prev ous nvent on.

W th as much hum l ty as can muster,

PW

Post Scr pt: Bes des, no one can nvent anyth ng so s mple as to allow an mmed ate prof c ency of use for such an one as Samura Rabb t.
I am eager to inform you that due to the success of my many ventures, I am in a position to offer you all of the i you can possibly desire for a most advantageous price.

Please find enclosed a small sample of the quality of my product.

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Awaiting your order and remittance by bank cheque.
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Old 12-18-2012, 10:40   #639
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I'm way ahead of ALL you guys! I get a kickback every time a vowel is used in this thread.
Just who do you imagine is paying you the small pittance that you claim as a kickback? I purchase vowels by the shipload from a manufacturer in China and even after shipping and storage costs and giving you a mere fraction, I still make a 25 kazillion percent profit on each item.

Once I sell the remaining inventory of i to Peace Warrior I shall be in the enviable position of being able to purchase a small island that I have had my eye one for some time. I believe the natives call it Australia.*

Silly Rabbit.

If you would kindly purchase my astounding new mathematics system based on only one number, even one such as you can quickly, easily and accurately calculate the folly of your ways.

May I add a kindly caution to beware the Huaco Kid, for he is known to profit by chicanery and subterfuge and silly rabbits are his most delectable victim.

* Historic footnote. Known as Australia in the ancient world, the land mass known as tousutopia is today known as a refuge for Samurai Rabbits and the meager population represents the last know examples of the species.
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Old 12-18-2012, 10:43   #640
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The United states used to have amendments to it's Constitution, before they had to be removed for the citizens protection.
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Old 12-18-2012, 11:03   #641
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In fact, the(se) United States once had a Constitution...


Posted using Outdoor Hub Campfire
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Old 12-18-2012, 11:33   #642
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* Historic footnote. Known as Australia in the ancient world, the land mass known as tousutopia is today known as a refuge for Samurai Rabbits and the meager population represents the last know examples of the species.
... and we'll take over Tousutopia just like the first rabbit wave did!
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Old 12-18-2012, 11:57   #643
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... and we'll take over Tousutopia just like the first rabbit wave did!
May I congratulate you and your kind, sir, for the most impressive statue of Bugs Bunny you have erected in the capital square.

May I humbly suggest Overture, Curtains, Lights as an anthem?
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Old 12-18-2012, 12:48   #644
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May I congratulate you and your kind, sir, for the most impressive statue of Bugs Bunny you have erected in the capital square.

May I humbly suggest Overture, Curtains, Lights as an anthem?
The strategically placed carrot is a notable statue feature.
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Old 12-20-2012, 10:02   #645
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Attention, fellow scholars.

It has come to my attention that due to my advanced age and enormous store of facts and wisdom that daily threaten to overflow my enviable brain, I may appear, to some, to be absent-minded.

I assure you, my friends, that nothing could be further from the truth -- well, almost nothing. For example, Cincinatti is further from the truth, but I digress. When I leave a room or building, I egress. When I don my clothing each morn, I get dressed, which can be condensed to a simple 'gress.' Thus, digress has a different meaning. 'di' meaning two and 'gress' meaning to don clothing.

You may wonder why am I wearing Don's clothing and why, based on the recently discovered meaning for digress as a perfectly useful substitute for get dressed, if, in my case, I am putting on Don's clothes twice or putting on clothing from two Don's once.

I shall leave the most obvious conclusion to the razor-sharp and ever-reliable ratiocination prevalent amongst the associates of and and contributors to this most excellent thread.

Which brings us to the purpose of this entry: just where is the carrot in the Bugs Bunny statue?

I remain your humble servant.
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Old 12-20-2012, 10:37   #646
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Youse guys crack me up

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Old 12-20-2012, 10:50   #647
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Youse guys crack me up

Duck Tape and Bondo will fix ya right up, amigo.

Which causes one to wonder, if itisbruno can be cracked up, what other vectors are available for the cracking event? Can he be cracked down? Cracked to either side? Perhaps he can be cracked in place with no direction, simply a magnitude.

My fellows, I propose an experiment. We capture itisbruno, place him a controlled enviroment, thoroughly instrument him and attempt to crack him in a direction other than up.

I shall, as always, bring the chili dogs as a break-from-cracking-itisbruno snack. It will likely be a long night. That leaves someone else to bring the SPAM, Fritos and lemonade.
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Old 12-20-2012, 11:03   #648
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hich rings us to the purpose of this entry: just where is the carrot in the Bugs Bunny statue?

I remain your humble servant.
To find the carrot in the statue, you must develop a "feel" for it.
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Old 12-20-2012, 11:33   #649
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May I beg your kind and generous leave to send Peace Warrior in to test this posit?
If there are kersplosions or the sudden appearance of sharp, pointy things I would prefer to observe remotely.
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Old 12-20-2012, 20:54   #650
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May I beg your kind and generous leave to send Peace Warrior in to test this posit?
If there are kersplosions or the sudden appearance of sharp, pointy things I would prefer to observe remotely.
Those things can take your eye out if you're not careful.


Equipped with Craftsman eye protection, and after diligently searching the entire area down under, I was only able to locate a bunch of costumes, which notably had a bunch of rabbit fur inside them, and something that resembled a rose bud, but nary a carrot my good man.

With this unsolved mystery properly divined and now forthwith an unriddle, I must take my leave in order to both squeeze some fresh lemonade and finish my haberdasher work before it gets too dark outside.

.
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