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Old 09-02-2012, 02:57   #476
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Justin Bieber will play Superman in the next Superman movie
itisbruno will play Lois Lane.
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2.9979E10 cm/sec -- it's not just a good idea; it's the law
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Old 09-02-2012, 03:45   #477
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Early German research into the occult resulted in Adolf Hitler being possessed by a demon.

Years later, on April 30, 1945, Adolf Hitler regained control of his body and decided to end the reign of his possessor with a prototype gun taken from the Austrians.

Glock has since become the weapon of choice for demon hunters.
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Old 09-02-2012, 04:40   #478
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Listen up, numnutz! Get your cover story consistent, and keep it that way! You foul it up, you make life difficult for ALL of us!
Oh yeah, like their going to figure out I had an FOP and was radioing you the coordinates. No way!

BTW- Speaking of which, you know missed by about a half mile.
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Old 09-02-2012, 04:54   #479
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Due to a microphone being left on, tom hanks, the director currently slated to oversee the new superman movie starring justin beiber, could be overheard denigrating one of the actors' bit parts in the film. The following is a transcript of what mr. hanks was caught saying.
"Who is this samamurirabbiT guy?!? I told him he has got the part! The contracts are signed! -unintelligible- It's his role guaranteed! Yet he keeps insisting that he's ready, willing, and available for any casting couch auditions I may desire. What's up with that?!?!?"
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"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"You gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?" - Josey Wales

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Old 09-02-2012, 05:52   #480
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barry soetoro, the current dictator in chief of 'Merica, has today signed executive orders declaring war. The war powers act, or something very much like it, gives the POTUS exclusive authority to commit troops and resources for up to 90 days without intervention from Congress.

A white house press corp staff member, during a press release this morning, stated,
"The president has finally decided to declare a war on calibers, or was it a caliber war, ummm... I can't find my briefing notes just now. Well, one things for sure, this war will be settled once and for all!

Oh, and before anyone asks, no, this is not election year rhetoric or saber rattling from the white house. This is war!"
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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"You gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?" - Josey Wales

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Old 09-02-2012, 18:52   #481
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Glock and Kimber Lady has dedicated herself to turning Idaho into a huge Bed, Bath and Beyond outlet store.
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Old 09-02-2012, 19:07   #482
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Mark Twain's great-granddaughter is Shania Twain.
Did Hal Holbrock know this?
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Old 09-02-2012, 19:20   #483
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At one point in his life, Hal Holbrook faced a momentous decision: to become the next Earth human Green Lantern or a struggling actor.
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Old 09-02-2012, 20:05   #484
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On this date an innocent wanderer from the land of Ox and Alex (Tsunami of Stupid) found herself in a strange and wonderful land. Although she had small hands, she did her best to get a grip. Some said too tightly, others not tight enough. Nonetheless, she disappeared into the vortex of want. If you look closely enough you can see her in the diamond dust.
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Old 09-03-2012, 07:02   #485
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On Labor Day in 1988, after mistakenly reloading casings with 9mm +p+ rounds, and then filling brass cases with ground venison, with both acts ending in tragic consequences and numerous lives being lost, Tous, a GT member hailing from Plain Old, Texas, vowed that for as long as he lived he would stamp out the ignorance of knowing the difference between a case, and casing.

Untold tens of thousands of lives have been saved since the advent of the internet.
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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"You gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?" - Josey Wales

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Old 09-08-2012, 01:06   #486
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People from Kansas, especially from Lawrence, Kansas, are fine upstanding citizens and have been since the 1850's. They get along especially well with their neighbors from Missouri. Their mascot, the Jayhawk, has long been revered as a symbol of integrity, justice, and moral soundness.
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Old 09-08-2012, 04:36   #487
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People from Kansas, especially from Lawrence, Kansas, are fine upstanding citizens and have been since the 1850's. They get along especially well with their neighbors from Missouri. Their mascot, the Jayhawk, has long been revered as a symbol of integrity, justice, and moral soundness.
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Old 09-08-2012, 04:38   #488
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On Labor Day in 1988, after mistakenly reloading casings with 9mm +p+ rounds, and then filling brass cases with ground venison, with both acts ending in tragic consequences and numerous lives being lost, Tous, a GT member hailing from Plain Old, Texas, vowed that for as long as he lived he would stamp out the ignorance of knowing the difference between a case, and casing.

Untold tens of thousands of lives have been saved since the advent of the internet.
If'n ya don't larn 'em, they'll stay ignorant forever.

<--- invented the Perfect Powder Measure disk for ground venison
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Old 09-08-2012, 08:09   #489
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post-hostoric factoid:

In the year 5555
Your arms hangin' limp at your sides
Your legs got nothin' to do
Some machine's doin' that for you


It will be recorded that the machines are powered by Windows 37.

Apple was seized by the government in 2013 and declared a government asset because the hippie socialists ran out of other people's money. Note that Apple's net worth only lasted 13.5 days, but every man, woman and child in America now has an iPad and an iPhone 6.

Tux the penquin was declared an endangered species in 2015 and the last Linux computer was put in the middle of a federal ecology reserve and observed around the clock by Department of Agriculture bureaucrats that found themselves with nothing to do after the EPA managed to ruin the last farm in America.

itisbruno has other things hanging at his side.
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2.9979E10 cm/sec -- it's not just a good idea; it's the law

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Old 09-08-2012, 08:14   #490
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When the stock market crashed, Franklin D. Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed. He said, 'Look, here's what happened"

that is a classic.
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Old 09-08-2012, 09:10   #491
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"Facts on the Internet are notoriously hard to verify"..

Sir Winston Churchill, April 1940.
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Old 09-08-2012, 09:12   #492
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When the stock market crashed, Franklin D. Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed. He said, 'Look, here's what happened"

that is a classic.
They had publically-available television in 1928?

Was Snookie on then?

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Old 09-08-2012, 09:21   #493
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They had publically-available television in 1928?

Was Snookie on then?

for that one? you'd have to ask joe biden.

and, ask who was president at the time.
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Old 09-08-2012, 09:35   #494
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We are here to help.
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Old 09-08-2012, 12:47   #495
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You from da gubmint?
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Old 09-09-2012, 06:36   #496
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Through the ground-breaking work of Felix Gunderson and his dedicated team of tireless researchers, it has been conclusively proven that a rolling Lone_Wolfe gathers no moss.

This astonishing conclusion required over a decade of careful experimentation. It was delayed because Lone_Wolfe was occasionally reluctant to roll down a mossy hill. And then there was the whole, "I won't roll unless my dressing room has exactly 37 red M&Ms at all times."

There were also incidents where Lone_Wolfe insisted on being called lobo solitario and when asked to commence the experiment, growled, "No mas!"

For their work, Gunderson and his team were allowed to keep the M&Ms that weren't red.

Science is hard.
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2.9979E10 cm/sec -- it's not just a good idea; it's the law

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Old 09-09-2012, 07:40   #497
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The residents of Misery, which is Native Floridian jargon for Missouri, who for times untold have had a tradition of doubting consequences or facts until actually seeing them for theirselves, make it seem like a contradiction, or oxymoron, that they would actually be the people that coined and then made famous the phrase, "Here, hold my beer and watch this."
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"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"You gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?" - Josey Wales

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Old 09-09-2012, 07:42   #498
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... And then there was the whole, "I won't roll unless my dressing room has exactly 37 red M&Ms at all times." ...
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"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"You gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?" - Josey Wales
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Old 09-09-2012, 07:51   #499
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Rutherford Birchard Hayes, the 19th POTUS, lost his reelection bid when it was found out that he had his internet connection disconnected for nonpayment of 23 "adult premium channels."

Shortly after having his service disconnected, but before allegations concerning his cable viewing became public, President Hayes and his wife decided to have a Easter Egg roll on the white house lawn.

During the Easter Egg rolling event, the POTUS' wife, who was a fan of late Queen Marie Antoinette, was quoted as saying, "Let them eat red M&M's!"
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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"You gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?" - Josey Wales
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Old 09-09-2012, 07:56   #500
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In the tradition of what George Washington Carver accomplished with peanuts, Felix Gunderson, a researcher and winner of 3 PRO-AM B.A.S.S. fishing tournaments, has been able to synthesize 37 nutritional supplements from ordinary moss.

His most accomplished product, Moss Butter, a creamy spread used on bread with jams and jellies, never really sold too well in Arizona.
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"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"You gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?" - Josey Wales
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