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Old 06-24-2012, 22:17   #361
samurairabbi
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Lastly, after a few bottles of good french wine and in between singing French songs, rabbit, that's my pet name for him, told me, "Today is tomorrow's yesterday. The past is behind us; the future lies ahead. The less you bet, the more you lose when you win." However, Mildred continued, I never understood his wine infused ramblings. So don't ask me what that last one means.
Her boyfriend, that rabbit guy, had been heard to observe that, while Millie was a boon companion, that last line demonstrates why he never took her to a casino!
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Old 06-25-2012, 07:17   #362
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The entire fossilized body structure of the mighty Thesaurus, a quadruped dinosaur of the middle to late Grammarian Epoch, has been found by a group of hippies digging a latrine near the Mt. St. Helen's volcano.

Dr. Ken Roget Canoodle, an archeologist brought in from England by the united States' government, advised that recovery of any Thesauri remains had always been a laborious and time consuming undertaking. Given the location and depth of this latest find, he advised that this particular Thesaurus fossil could take as long as 15 years to excavate, primarily due to it being a government project.

He noted that the bulk of the work was inadvertently completed by the hippies themselves. He said he had to trade some fresh apples and a few dollars to win back some of the bones the hippies had kept. Apparently the hippies had used several the smaller bones to make some one-hitter hashish pipes for their commune.
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Old 06-25-2012, 17:08   #363
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Dr. Roget-Canoodle's work is complicated financially by the government grant authorities internal disagreement on how to pronounce the plural of Thesaurus. The plural form pronunciation of Thesauruses is controversial in the pronunciation of the final syllable: is it "uz" or "eze". Such controversy easily accounts for significant delays in the government coughing up the grant money.
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Old 06-25-2012, 17:38   #364
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May 30, 2068 will mark the 50th "Open Carry Across America" day. This National Holiday encourages the open carrying of privately owned firearms by citizens, and was signed into law on May 25, 2018 by President Condoleezza Rice.

Last year Mayor Bloomberg III of NYC, ordered all police officers in NYC to arrest on sight, any person carrying a firearm on May 30th.

Unfortunately the police took that order quite literately and half of the police force arrested the other half of the police force. . . The remaining officers then spent the rest of the day arresting people who were using salt in public restaurants, and drinking sodas larger than 4 ounces.

Mayor Bloomberg III of NYC was also arrested that day for the illegal carrying of a firearm. The YouTube video of him being arrested while screaming "Not Me You ************ Idiots. . I'm Special. . I'm Special" went viral in 2 hours with 1.3 billion viewings. . .
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Old 06-25-2012, 18:20   #365
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Contrary to popular belief, Dr. Ken Roget Canoodle is not a real person and has never existed. Cannodle's work was actually a collaboration by three elephants, a Siberian tiger, two African lions, seven Australian wombats, 22 time-hopping kangaroos and a woman working as a receptionist in Nyack, New York.

Some people will belive anything, regardless of how flimsy the evidence.

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Old 06-25-2012, 20:43   #366
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Contrary to popular belief, Dr. Ken Roget Canoodle is not a real person and has never existed. Cannodle's work was actually a collaboration by three elephants, a Siberian tiger, two African lions, seven Australian wombats, 22 time-hopping kangaroos and a woman working as a receptionist in Nyack, New York.

Some people will belive anything, regardless of how flimsy the evidence.

Permit me the temerity to question the level of your scholarship.

The woman worked in EAST Nyack, and was the actual ringleader of the illicit publication effort. She financed this action with royalties derived from use of the names of the New York communities containing the word Nyack; when taken in groups of three, they become the classic Three Stooges line "Nyack Nyack Nyack!"
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Old 06-25-2012, 20:48   #367
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Quote:
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Dr. Roget-Canoodle's work is complicated financially by the government grant authorities internal disagreement on how to pronounce the plural of Thesaurus. The plural form pronunciation of Thesauruses is controversial in the pronunciation of the final syllable: is it "uz" or "eze". Such controversy easily accounts for significant delays in the government coughing up the grant money.
Dr. Ken Roget Canooodle finally cleared up the confusion by tweeting the following to the government grant office.

More than one Thesaurus: Thesauruses

A Male Thesaurus: Thesauri

A Female Thesaurus: Thesaurie


Some 35th dimensionalist who work at the grant office simply do not understand French.
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Old 06-25-2012, 20:49   #368
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Originally Posted by wjv View Post
May 30, 2068 will mark the 50th "Open Carry Across America" day. This National Holiday encourages the open carrying of privately owned firearms by citizens, and was signed into law on May 25, 2018 by President Condoleezza Rice.

Last year Mayor Bloomberg III of NYC, ordered all police officers in NYC to arrest on sight, any person carrying a firearm on May 30th.

Unfortunately the police took that order quite literately and half of the police force arrested the other half of the police force. . . The remaining officers then spent the rest of the day arresting people who were using salt in public restaurants, and drinking sodas larger than 4 ounces.

Mayor Bloomberg III of NYC was also arrested that day for the illegal carrying of a firearm. The YouTube video of him being arrested while screaming "Not Me You ************ Idiots. . I'm Special. . I'm Special" went viral in 2 hours with 1.3 billion viewings. . .
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Old 06-25-2012, 20:52   #369
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Contrary to popular belief, Dr. Ken Roget Canoodle is not a real person and has never existed. Cannodle's work was actually a collaboration by three elephants, a Siberian tiger, two African lions, seven Australian wombats, 22 time-hopping kangaroos and a woman working as a receptionist in Nyack, New York.

Some people will belive anything, regardless of how flimsy the evidence.

Unfortunately, it was reported today that Dr. ken Roget Canoodle has been listed as nonexistent due to the proclivities of several time hopping kangaroos hoping to take credit for all the archaeological work he had done in the past. .
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"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
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Old 06-25-2012, 21:19   #370
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Unfortunately, it was reported today that Dr. ken Roget Canoodle has been listed as nonexistent due to the proclivities of several time hopping kangaroos hoping to take credit for all the archaeological work he had done in the past. .
This is Dr. Ken Canoodle. It is correct that I do not actually exist...YET. I am still waiting for my Great, Great....Great Grandfather, Peace Warrior, to have sex with Mila Kunis and consummate my future existance.

PW, if time-flux readings are accurate, you have only 24 hours to find and seduce her or I will never be born. Please hurry.


This message sent from the 35th century using my antique CB radio.
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Old 06-25-2012, 21:32   #371
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This is trick by one of the d*mned lions that remain!!!

Once you are nonexistent due to time traveling vortices equal to or greater than -1.21 jiggawatts^3, there is no coming back.

Blast you infernal d*mned lions!
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"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
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Old 06-25-2012, 21:38   #372
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This is Dr. Ken Canoodle. It is correct that I do not actually exist...YET.
One day I saw upon the stair
a little man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today.
Oh how I wish he'd go away!
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Old 06-26-2012, 16:00   #373
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The Titanic did not sink in the North Atlantic on 15 April 1912. Contrary to a badly-invented story to cover the disappearance, the giant, state-of-the-art passenger steamer is the personal watercraft of Dr. Ken Roget Canoodle and he simply whisked it back to the 29th dimension.

In the wake of the absurdly false tragedy, the Society for the Preservation of Ice Bergs and the Iceberg Antidefamtion League were formed by influential hippie socialist vacationing in the early 20th century. Frankin Delano Roosevelt, Octavian, Wyatt Earp, Ghengis Khan and Jerry Rubin are notable members of these radical left-wing organizations whose motto is 'Ice First!'

As he does not exist, Dr. Ken Roget Canoodle could not be reached for comment.
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Old 06-26-2012, 19:08   #374
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It should also be noted that the left-wing new-age political movements are NEVER heard to acknowledge the indignity and injury inflicted on the ICEBERG by the Titanic. Within a mere season, the iceberg had evaporated down to nothing, with nobody even expressing any notice whatsoever of its passing.
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Old 06-26-2012, 19:19   #375
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A week after the purported sinking incident, a hue and cry of, "Ban assault steamships!" was heard far and wide. Though never proven, it is likely true that a dimension-hopping rabbit was the cataylst for the protest movement.

Within two months of the demand for a comprehensive assault-passenger liner ban, the Attorney General, Ken Roget Canoodle, announced that he would allow some steamships out of port so that his ever-vigilant agents could track them. He dubbed the program, "Avast and Curious." However, history records that once the suspect vessels were twenty-six feet from the dock, the agents lost track of them. Even stranger, the Attorney General vanished and no one could remember that the mysterious Canoodle ever existed.
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Old 06-26-2012, 19:38   #376
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Formally charged with the bombing of 13 Italian Ice refreshment stands on the Seaside Heights, New Jersey boardwalk between 1972 and 1982, Ken Roget Canoodle, Jr, is now being held without bond in an undisclosed federal prison. Though no one was injured by these bombings over a period of ten years, the businesses themselves were destroyed, with some having to be rebuilt.

In an exclusive interview, K. R. Canoodle Jr. spoke openly about his insatiable hatred towards anyone who would enslave, deface, or attack ice of any form in nature. When asked if icebergs would be included in his personal panorama of what should be protected as an ice species, he stated firmly, "You ******* kidding me?!? Are you ******* kidding me?!?!!? Icebergs are at the top of the list for protection! Have you ever heard of a glacier calving? Well, have you?!? Icebergs are the young, precious calves of glaciers! Some in this world hate the killing of baby seals. Well, I hate the people that kill baby iceberg calves!"

When asked if he is protective of the ice that forms in the freezers located in or near the more humid climates, Mr. K. R. Canoodle Jr. simply stated, "Now you're just being a jack*ss. Everyone knows that that stuff is not REAL ice."
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Old 06-26-2012, 19:46   #377
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A week after the purported sinking incident, a hue and cry of, "Ban assault steamships!" was heard far and wide. Though never proven, it is likely true that a dimension-hopping rabbit was the cataylst for the protest movement.

Within two months of the demand for a comprehensive assault-passenger liner ban, the Attorney General, Ken Roget Canoodle, III, announced that he would allow some steamships out of port so that his ever-vigilant agents could track them. He dubbed the program, "Avast and Curious." However, history records that once the suspect vessels were twenty-six feet from the dock, the agents lost track of them. Even stranger, the Attorney General vanished and no one could remember that the mysterious Canoodle ever existed.
Fixed it for ya!
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Old 06-26-2012, 20:04   #378
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Thank you.
I appreciate it and apologize for my poor scholarship.

Little known fact: in the 35th dimension, the leader of a race of dimension-hopping samurai rabbits is called, "The Grand Exalted Canoodle."

Coincidence?
I think not.
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Old 06-26-2012, 20:19   #379
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Thank you.
I appreciate it and apologize for my poor scholarship.

Little known fact: in the 35th dimension, the leader of a race of dimension-hopping samurai rabbits is called, "The Grand Exalted Canoodle."

Coincidence?
I think not.
Actually, the GEC position in the 35th dimension is only a figurehead, established for tax dodge purposes.

Also, Peace Warrior's statement that Roget-Canoodle Jr. is held in extended Federal confinement is true, but it is true because of a hang-up in the evidentiary process. Because of the extended time needed to prepare a case, by the time the calved icebergs are called for witness testimony, they have all melted!
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Old 06-26-2012, 20:31   #380
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... tax dodge purposes.
So you're saying that the conveyance of choice in that demented dimension is a Durango or a Charger?

This just in. Two time-hopping kangaroos attempted to bounce into the same space-time seam at the same time.
Better luck next time.
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