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Old 07-12-2012, 11:10   #426
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Ted Nugent, also known as The Motor City Madman, already on record as implying that the united States would be better off "had the South won the Civil War," indicated today he also believes that had Japan won the War in the Pacific, he would still number one on the music charts and playing to sell out shows in Tokyo.
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Old 07-12-2012, 15:17   #427
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Here is a creepy one.

Mark David Chapman (John Lennon's assassin) John Hinkley Jr. (President Reagan's attempted assassin) David Berkowitz, (Son of Sam killer) and Sirhan Sirhan, Robert F. Kennedy's killer, all went to the same school and had the same english teacher who had worked behind enemy lines for the OSS arranging the assassinations of high ranking french officials who cooperated with the Nazis during WWII
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Old 07-12-2012, 17:39   #428
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Here is a creepy one.

Mark David Chapman (John Lennon's assassin) John Hinkley Jr. (President Reagan's attempted assassin) David Berkowitz, (Son of Sam killer) and Sirhan Sirhan, Robert F. Kennedy's killer, all went to the same school and had the same english teacher who had worked behind enemy lines for the OSS arranging the assassinations of high ranking french officials who cooperated with the Nazis during WWII
... and Charles Whitman, the Texas Tower sniper, did all the custodial work in their classroom.
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Old 07-12-2012, 19:50   #429
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Ronald Reagan was the first US president to swim across the English Channel, and he did it without a US Navy escort. When he got to shore in France, he reportedly said, "what the hell is that smell? This place smells like sweaty feet!"
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Old 07-12-2012, 20:29   #430
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Michael Jackson had relations with a female and liked it.
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Old 07-12-2012, 20:31   #431
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Chris Rock has been added to the U.S. power lifting team for the summer games and is reported to be clean and jerking 800lbs right now at his current weight of 122lbs
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Old 07-12-2012, 23:17   #432
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mac66 View Post
Here is a creepy one.

Mark David Chapman (John Lennon's assassin) John Hinkley Jr. (President Reagan's attempted assassin) David Berkowitz, (Son of Sam killer) and Sirhan Sirhan, Robert F. Kennedy's killer, all went to the same school and had the same english teacher who had worked behind enemy lines for the OSS arranging the assassinations of high ranking french officials who cooperated with the Nazis during WWII
John Hinkley's brother, Scott Hinkley, was scheduled to have lunch at the home of Neil Bush, son of then VPOTUS Bush, the day after POTUS Reagan was shot.
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"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
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Last edited by Peace Warrior; 07-13-2012 at 02:50..
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Old 07-13-2012, 02:01   #433
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GT's Huaco Kid, hereafter HK, was today cleared of any wrong doing in the wrongful death suit brought by the surviving family members of Helen Waite.

HK, while shopping in the Pharmacy section of Wal-Mart, was implored by his local SWAT team to assist with a call up due to an armed robbery, at the Old Navy, which was located on the other side of Wal-Mart's parking lot. When the plaintiff's attorney asked about how the SWAT team knew of HK's actual whereabouts, the city attorney vehemently objected to the question while mentioning national security.

At trial it was revealed that after making contact with HK on the toothpaste aisle, the SWAT team advised him they needed some sniper back up and time was of critical essence, so he agreed. After running -x- across the parking lot in the SWAT van, approximately 60 yards, HK found a good covering position behind a concrete planter, which offered a good firing lane near the Old Navy's front entrance. With HK taking this covering position, the SWAT team members then made a dynamic tactical entry on the rear of the store.

During the process of SWAT clearing the store, HK managed to shoot 6 of the 8 suspects that he saw running from the building as well as managing to pick up a couple good deals on some colorful Hawaiian shirts. Unfortunately, by accident he also shot a seventh person, which was not involved in the robbery. This person, 58 year old Helen Waite, whom turned out to be a hospital's spokesperson on vacation from Alaska, was shot as she frantically tried to leave the store.

The jury deliberated for eight days before bringing back a not guilty verdict. The judge, when reading the jury's findings, added that had Mrs. Waite not been carrying a hand bag with a dollar sign on it, which was given to her as a novelty gift by her husband, she would not have been shot by the defendant.
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"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"You gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?" - Josey Wales

Last edited by Peace Warrior; 07-13-2012 at 02:52..
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Old 07-13-2012, 02:22   #434
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Under sworn deposition, the Huaco Kid made the following statement:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Huaco Kid View Post
Once, I was wearing mine at walmart, while trying to decide which toothpaste would make my teeth the whitest, when some SWAT guys grabbed me and said they needed me to cover their backs.

We blasted, code 3, across the parking lot towards the Old Navy. I hunkered down behind the cement petunia planter while they made a tactical entry. I tried to pick off all the guys running out with bags that had dollar signs on them, but I only managed about a 75% kill rate.

Afterwards, they all wanted to pose for pictures with me and we went to the bar and they paid the tab. ...
.....
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"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"You gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?" - Josey Wales

Last edited by Peace Warrior; 07-23-2012 at 20:20..
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Old 07-13-2012, 15:22   #435
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GT's Huaco Kid, hereafter HK, was today cleared of any wrong doing in the wrongful death suit brought by the surviving family members of Helen Waite.

The jury deliberated for eight days before bringing back a not guilty verdict. The judge, when reading the jury's findings, added that had Mrs. Waite not been carrying a hand bag with a dollar sign on it, which was given to her as a novelty gift by her husband, she would not have been shot by the defendant.
The family of the deceased Helen Waite has retained the distinguished attorney Helen Hunt to research possibilities of a possible Federal prosecution as a followup to the local court acquital. In response to journalist's inquiries about such a case being filed, the family quite wisely suggested that anyone with such inquiries should go to Helen Hunt for them.
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Old 07-14-2012, 17:14   #436
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Update:

Upon acquiring additional records after going to Helen Hunt for them, reporters discovered that Mrs. Hunt's federal prosecution has been given a green light by a judicial review board after researching the highlighted autopsy results of Helen Waite, the vacationing 58 year old hospital spokesperson from Alaska who was accidentally killed by a SWAT team during an Old Navy armed robbery.

When reached for comment, Mrs. Hunt advised, "While the six robbers each had a single bullet wound causing their deaths, Mrs. Waite was shot at least three times. We think this needs to be thoroughly investigated on a federal level using all the resources of the government in order to find out the reasons why so many shots were used."
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"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"You gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?" - Josey Wales

Last edited by Peace Warrior; 07-14-2012 at 17:20..
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Old 07-15-2012, 17:03   #437
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When reached for comment, Mrs. Hunt advised, "While the six robbers each had a single bullet wound causing their deaths, Mrs. Waite was shot at least three times. We think this needs to be thoroughly investigated on a federal level using all the resources of the government in order to find out the reasons why so many shots were used."
The number of shots can easily be easily explained. This "engagement" clearly occurred in a 10-round mag limit state, and Mr. Huaco was clearly caught with only a single mag for his weapon, leaving him in a position where he did not wish to expend his last round EXCEPT in the most desperate of circumstances. A tacky purse embroidered with a dollar sign, while boorish in the extreme, would not be considered such an emergency. Rather than being castigated, Mr. Huaco should be commended for his superb tactical technique.
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Old 07-15-2012, 17:44   #438
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he did not wish to expend his last round EXCEPT in the most desperate of circumstances.
I was saving the last round for myself, if it all went horribly wrong.
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Old 07-15-2012, 18:51   #439
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I was saving the last round for myself, if it all went horribly wrong.

The phrase "in the most desperate of circumstances" is a common euphemism for saving the last round for one's self.

Do you wish to be addressed on this forum as Mr. Huaco, or Mr. Kid?
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Old 07-23-2012, 20:22   #440
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delete
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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"You gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?" - Josey Wales

Last edited by Peace Warrior; 07-23-2012 at 21:13..
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Old 07-23-2012, 21:13   #441
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Mrs. Hunt, so as to have it on the trial's official record, read the following statement to have it placed into evidence.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Huaco Kid View Post
Once, I was wearing mine at walmart, while trying to decide which toothpaste would make my teeth the whitest, when some SWAT guys grabbed me and said they needed me to cover their backs.

We blasted, code 3, across the parking lot towards the Old Navy. I hunkered down behind the cement petunia planter while they made a tactical entry. I tried to pick off all the guys running out with bags that had dollar signs on them, but I only managed about a 75% kill rate.

Afterwards, they all wanted to pose for pictures with me and we went to the bar and they paid the tab. ...
After reading the entire transcript of his deposition for the record, Mrs. Hunt also stated that when HK referred to the pronoun -mine,- he was actually speaking about and referring to a "CCW Raid jacket" (i.e., reference highlighted above and with a stock photo below), which he both owned and was actually wearing at the time preceding and during this specific incident.


The Okie Corral

Mrs Hunt then reiterated the composite account of events that was derived from his personal recount, the next morning, to reporters. Mrs. Hunt then requested the presiding judge allow an indeterminate recess in the trial so as to have a private side bar with the defendant's new legal counsel, which his new legal counselor is a time traveling, and or time shifting, and or dimension traveling rabbit, whom wants people to think he hails from Japan.


Here, in its entirety, is the reiterated recount of events that Mrs. Hunt read for the record with regards to HK's personal recount of events, which he made to reporters the morning after the event in question.

Quote:
... while shopping in the Pharmacy section of Wal-Mart, [I] was implored by [my] local SWAT team to assist with a call up due to an armed robbery, at the Old Navy, which was located on the other side of Wal-Mart's parking lot. ...

... after making contact with [me] on the toothpaste aisle, the SWAT team advised [me] they needed some sniper back up and time was of critical essence, so [I] agreed. After running -x- across the parking lot in the SWAT van, approximately 60 yards, [I] found a good covering position behind a concrete planter, which offered a good firing lane near the Old Navy's front entrance. With [me] taking this covering position, the SWAT team members then made a dynamic tactical entry on the rear of the store.

During the process of SWAT clearing the store, [I] managed to shoot 6 of the 8 suspects that [I] saw running from the building as well as managing to pick up a couple good deals on some colorful Hawaiian shirts. Unfortunately, by accident, [I] also shot a seventh person, which was not involved in the robbery. This person, 58 year old Helen Waite, whom turned out to be a hospital's spokesperson on vacation from Alaska, was shot [by me] as she frantically tried to leave the store. ...
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"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
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Old 07-23-2012, 21:18   #442
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Make up a historical fact

Tom Cruise is sane
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Old 07-23-2012, 21:22   #443
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Huaco Kid View Post
I was saving the last round for myself, if it all went horribly wrong.


Psssst: Thanks for playing HK.
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"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"You gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?" - Josey Wales

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Old 07-23-2012, 21:24   #444
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Tom Cruise is sane
Oh no you didunt!!!
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Old 07-23-2012, 21:27   #445
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Quote:
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... Do you wish to be addressed on this forum as Mr. Huaco, or Mr. Kid?
Typical lawyer tactic of kissing the client's bootae.
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Old 07-23-2012, 21:29   #446
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Tom Cruise is sane
This thread solicits historical facts, not historical absurdities!
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Old 07-23-2012, 21:35   #447
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Coffee Trees are not what you think

Rumors have finally been confirmed that coffee doesn't grow on trees.

In a surprising statement from Juan Valdez, Juan admitted that coffee beans are not really beans, instead they are legumes that grow in the ground.

Elaborate tunnels are constructed to harvest the crop every year. The left-over tunnels are then turned into breezeways for cabanas.

Juan firmly denied that the so-called coffee trees seen in advertisements are actually money trees. He says instead they are merely drawings from his child hood.
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Old 07-23-2012, 21:38   #448
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Obama was born in Detroit the son of a hard working father who built muscle cars in Detroit and a mother who worked at American Jeweler And Loan
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Old 07-24-2012, 18:51   #449
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Due to extreme budget cuts, Great Britain's MI6 division has announced that James Bond's Aston Martin will be replaced with a Smart Car.

Sent from my Kindle Fire
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Old 08-23-2012, 22:16   #450
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Hummingbirds can only eat/forage while they are flying or while their wings are beating. If they actually perch or stop to nosh, they won't be able to take off due to building up too much body weight.
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