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Old 06-29-2012, 01:53   #401
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The PUAA, or formally, the people for unnatural acts with alligators, has began a tax free charter and corporation.
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Old 06-29-2012, 11:24   #402
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The term "viral," so popularized on the internet during the early 2000's, was derived from a rare phenomenon of internet users contracting a certain virus simply from signing on and posting to the internet at the same time as the carrier was on the net.

The progenitor of the disease, a certain French, Finnish guy who claimed a domicile in Plano, Texas, had something so bad that the term, "Ajax won't get rid of it" would just not suffice. Due to the virus' virulent nature, in that it could be contracted simply by touching a keyboard while posting to internet threads at the same time as the French Finnish guy, the phrases, "it's viral," or, "it went viral" were invented by a person in Japan.

This same person in Japan, with the help from a time traveling rabbit, invented both a wireless keyboard and a wireless mouse in order to interrupt the spread of the infection. Luckily, the French, Finnish guy who claimed a domicile in Plano, Texas, finally went to sleep one day and this allowed the vast majority of the world's population to procure wireless devices for their computers.

In a related note, Mac laptop users had to pay on average, $1,000 more for each wireless device and hotel stay during the peak of the viral, outbreak epidemic.
Rabits don't time travel, they dimension travel.
Kangaroos time travel, ya galoot.


You owe the samurai rabbit a sincere apology and a box of Whoppers.

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Old 06-29-2012, 12:36   #403
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tous View Post
It's an obvious conspiracy, ...
THERE ARE NO SUCH THINGS AS CONSPIRACIES!!!!!

It has finally been ascertained by the FBI, CIA, MI5, MI6, MI* and every other nations' intelligence agencies in the world that every crime, from the time that Cain slew Able, has only been committed by a single individual each and every time. There has never been any criminal act or collusion by two or more individuals in order to realize a common goal.

Simply put, conspiracies do NOT exist and never have.
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It's an obvious conspiracy, we know who the varlets are, we know where they come from, we know what they want.

The ever-vigilant kangaroos, wombats and sheep shall thwart it!
The dimension-hopping rabbits shall not prevail!

I need a nap!
If there is any scheme afoot, it has been wholly concocted by a single varlet. Do not implicate other varlets with your wild conspiracy theories from the 35th dimension.
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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
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Old 06-29-2012, 12:42   #404
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Originally Posted by tous View Post
Rabits don't time travel, they dimension travel.
Kangaroos time travel, ya galoot.


You owe the samurai rabbit a sincere apology and a box of Whoppers.

As a favor to samurairabbi, I'll go one better than a sincere apology and a box of whoppers; instead, I'll do something I never ever do, which is edit my post.
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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
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Old 06-29-2012, 12:51   #405
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Update:

Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook's founder and CEO, announced some time ago that he was buying the Earth and evicting its tenants; however, due to France, Kuwait, and Panama refusing to accept the offer of $38 an acre, Mark Zuckerberg's attorney's have announced today that anyone desiring not to leave the Earth, in the next 3 days, should relocate to one of these countries as soon as possible.
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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"You gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?" - Josey Wales

Last edited by Peace Warrior; 06-29-2012 at 12:51..
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Old 06-29-2012, 12:52   #406
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Warrior of Peace, you are an honorable man.

That mean samurai rabbit doesn't get the Whoppers?
I can't speak for the feller, but he might could would rather have a box of delicious malted milk balls covered in rich, creamy milk chocolate than a edit.
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Old 06-29-2012, 12:55   #407
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Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook's founder and CEO, announced some time ago that he was buying the Earth and evicting its tenants; however, due to France, Kuwait, and Panama refusing to accept the offer of $38 an acre, Mark Zuckerberg's attorney's have announced today that anyone desiring not to leave the Earth, in the next 3 days, should relocate to one of these countries as soon as possible.
He won't get Finland.
They're used to being invaded and conquered every so often by the Russians, so blood-thirsty hordes of Zuckerbergs won't bother them. They just toss another reindeer on the barbie.
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Old 06-29-2012, 13:02   #408
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Originally Posted by tous View Post
Warrior of Peace, you are an honorable man.

That mean samurai rabbit doesn't get the Whoppers?
I can't speak for the feller, but he might could would rather have a box of delicious malted milk balls covered in rich, creamy milk chocolate than a edit.
Yeah, but every knows I never edit my posts. Ever.
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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"You gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?" - Josey Wales

Last edited by Peace Warrior; 06-29-2012 at 13:02.. Reason: I didn't edit it.
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Old 06-29-2012, 18:17   #409
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THERE ARE NO SUCH THINGS AS CONSPIRACIES!!!!!
...
If there is any scheme afoot, it has been wholly concocted by a single varlet. Do not implicate other varlets with your wild conspiracy theories from the 35th dimension.
If the single conniving varlet outsources ALL the admin work involved in his nefarious plot, and ALL the subordinate varlets receiving the outsourced contract work do NOT comprehend the true purpose of the work they are performing, then does a conspiracy actually exist? Hey, inquiring varlets want to know.

Chocolate-coated malted milk balls are decent, but this varlet really prefers movie theater sno-caps. Keep that in mind when plotting bribery and other suck-up actions directed toward me.
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Old 06-29-2012, 18:48   #410
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You subcontract your varlets?
How's that working for you?
Is there an agency for that?
Do you pay them in Whoppers?
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Old 06-29-2012, 19:27   #411
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"Grow Fins" by Capt. Beefheart was adopted as the inter-galactic anthem.
Chorus:
I'm leavin'
I'm gonna take up with, ah, mermaid
'N' leave you land lubbin' women alone
'N' leave you land-lubbin' women alone
'roos and rabbits sang in harmony (the varlets were off-key), I swear, angels couldn't have done better.
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Old 06-29-2012, 19:34   #412
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"Grow Fins" by Capt. Beefheart was adopted as the inter-galactic anthem.
Chorus:
I'm leavin'
I'm gonna take up with, ah, mermaid
'N' leave you land lubbin' women alone
'N' leave you land-lubbin' women alone
'roos and rabbits sang in harmony (the varlets were off-key), I swear, angels couldn't have done better.
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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
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Old 06-29-2012, 19:42   #413
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Originally Posted by samurairabbi View Post
If the single conniving varlet outsources ALL the admin work involved in his nefarious plot, and ALL the subordinate varlets receiving the outsourced contract work do NOT comprehend the true purpose of the work they are performing, then does a conspiracy actually exist? Hey, inquiring varlets want to know.

Chocolate-coated malted milk balls are decent, but this varlet really prefers movie theater sno-caps. Keep that in mind when plotting bribery and other suck-up actions directed toward me.
You sir rabbit have thrown bruce willis' proverbial, "monkey in the wrench," into my, previous to now, firmly held tenet of a ours being a non-conspiratorial world.

The logic you have expurgated concerning subordinate varlets unwittingly being part of an actual conspiracy seems to support your premise; however, given the objectivity of your proposition, this would legally make them, technically speaking, accessories AFTER the fact.

What say you?
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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"You gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?" - Josey Wales
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Old 06-29-2012, 20:10   #414
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You sir rabbit have thrown bruce willis' proverbial, "monkey in the wrench," into my, previous to now, firmly held tenet of a ours being a non-conspiratorial world.

The logic you have expurgated concerning subordinate varlets unwittingly being part of an actual conspiracy seems to support your premise; however, given the objectivity of your proposition, this would legally make them, technically speaking, accessories AFTER the fact.

What say you?
What say I? Hmmmm ... a worthy conceptual concept. ... Upon reflection, I have formulated my response:

Everyone should believe is something ... I believe I'll have another drink!
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Old 06-29-2012, 20:26   #415
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There are now four countries to move to in order to avoid being evicted from the Earth. Finland's check bounced.
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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
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Old 06-29-2012, 20:37   #416
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There are now four countries to move to in order to avoid being evicted from the Earth. Finland's check bounced.
Hmmm ... So even Zuckerberg is worried about the Euro!
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Old 07-02-2012, 09:58   #417
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The founder of GlockTalk.com, Eric (a.k.a Big Giant head), was found not guilty in civil court today.

A commune of hippies, near the Mount St. Helen's area, had sued Eric due to problems that arose from their participation in a smoking game in relation to a thread titled, "Make up a historical fact." It seems the hippies had comprised a list of words and rules, which if any of the words from the list were found on the thread, then the rules stated that all of the hippies had to take a hit off of their Hooka resembling bong.

Part of the lawsuit was brought by those hippies that were attacked and almost had their faces eaten by those hippies actually participating the smoking game. The other part was brought by those hippies that were upset there was no marijuana left to buy within a 150 miles of their commune.

The following is part of the list that was placed into evidence during the civil trial:
  • prevaricate
  • minion
  • traverse
  • echelon
  • acumen
  • Canoodle
  • time traveling
  • Porshe* (*in play only when mispronounced, or mispelled)
  • rabbit
  • Mirth
  • dimension
  • sausage
  • hippie
  • There once was a man from Nantucket...
  • 10mm
  • time travel
  • casing
  • viral
  • chapeau
  • "intergluteal explosions"
  • some would say...
  • buffalo wings
  • wal-mart
  • Conestogas
  • bullets
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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"You gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?" - Josey Wales

Last edited by Peace Warrior; 07-03-2012 at 08:15..
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Old 07-02-2012, 14:45   #418
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The following is part of the list that was placed into evidence during the civil trial:
  • Porshe* (*in play only when mispronounced)
... or misspelled.
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Old 07-03-2012, 08:14   #419
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The lgbt publicly came out against the spiral cutting of wieners during the up coming 4th of July celebrations. Their spokesperson added the reason for their disapproval was that the spiral cutting of hot-dogs was obviously something only a homophobic individual would do.

When asked for a brief characterization of what a homophobic individual actually was in the eyes of the lgbt organization, the spokesperson advised, "Anything we want them to be when we want to disagree with anything that they say or do."

Then, when pressed to elaborate a little further and clearer on exactly what characterized a homophobe, the spokesperson grinned real big, quickly snapped his fingers twice while emphatically raising his hand above his head, and said, "Not today sugar."
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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"You gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?" - Josey Wales

Last edited by Peace Warrior; 07-03-2012 at 08:35..
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Old 07-03-2012, 08:16   #420
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Quote:
Originally Posted by samurairabbi View Post
... or misspelled.
Fixed it!
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"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
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Old 07-03-2012, 08:33   #421
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Native Alaskans have rejected a request by a private developer to build and run an alligator farm in the town of Fairbanks. The vote to turn down the zoning request came the same day that the permitting office received information that linked the developer to the PUAA. It was later discovered that the developer, a Mr. John "Tail Wiggler" Doe, was actually a board member of the PUAA.

Mr. Doe advised that although he was disappointed with the permitting office's decision, he believed that his company would now have to try to get permits approved in Washington State as, quote, "Them dog gone Alaskans can be so cold to people that simply love Crocodilians."
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"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"You gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?" - Josey Wales

Last edited by Peace Warrior; 07-13-2012 at 02:23..
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Old 07-03-2012, 08:52   #422
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Breaking story:

Thirteen paragliders, with minor but numerous gun shot wounds to their bodies, were admitted to a local hospital in Alaska. The hospital's spokesperson, Helen Waite, stated the following, "All I can tell anyone, including the media, is that right now, thirteen people who were out for a day of paragliding have been admitted for wounds that seem to have been caused by shotguns."

As one victim was released from the hospital, he made the following statement, "Well, we were just paragliding you know? Two of us were hollering back and forth to each other because we thought we were smelling, well, I know it sounds funny, but we thought we could smell like some crabs boiling or something. The next thing I noticed were a bunch of little holes in my paragliding chute. Then, I had this real intense pain in my left shin. Like a bunch bees were stinging me all at once. It was so weird!"
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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"You gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?" - Josey Wales
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Old 07-11-2012, 10:34   #423
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Few are aware that “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” was actually based on the author’s (Robert L. May) own personal experiences during his time in the U.S. Army basic training program. The story is a loose adaptation of May’s constant harassment by fellow soldiers (due to small ***** size) and his eventual acceptance as a worthy peer. The culmination described as “one foggy Christmas Eve” is metaphoric for an evening in which his local knowledge (supplied by a cousin and town local) allowed for the procurement of a prostitute.
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Old 07-12-2012, 10:37   #424
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The US Senate appears to be locked, just shy of a dead heat, as far as pushing through legislation that has come to be known as "The 3 day weekend bill." The measure has pass overwhelmingly in the house by a margin of 416-19, with only the State of Illinois' Representatives unanimously voting against the proposal.

A non-binding, open US Senate floor vote, indicated that if held today, the proposal would fail 49-51, with all fifty-one Democrats voting against the measure.

Specifically, the Democrats are insisting that before they could approve such a bill, they are requiring the Congress to first approve an eight (8) day calendar week be instituted for the united States.

Neither Senate majority leader, harry reid, nor Rep. jesse l. jackson Jr., could be reached for comment.
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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"You gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?" - Josey Wales

Last edited by Peace Warrior; 07-12-2012 at 10:43..
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Old 07-12-2012, 11:05   #425
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The makers of T.V. Dinners, an American staple for decades, have been steadily reducing their portion sizes, while at the same time increasing their prices, for the last few years.

This trend, if continued at the present rate, shows that in the year 2019, it will cost $157.25 for a meal, including dessert, that weighs just 0.8 ounces.
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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"You gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?" - Josey Wales

Last edited by Peace Warrior; 07-12-2012 at 11:06..
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