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Old 06-23-2012, 20:24   #351
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You seek to prevaricate and confuse, clear evidence that your are, indeed, in league with the Coordinator of Chaos ... a title that suspiciously features the letter C!

I remain unconvinced that you are not a minion, sir.
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Old 06-23-2012, 20:50   #352
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Your inability to traverse past the third letter of the alphabet is obviously a symptom of deeper physical, or may I say, psychological problems.
The inability to comprehend the letter “C” is one of the 3 clues we use to identifying the “others”.
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Old 06-23-2012, 21:24   #353
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Oh man! Have we sidetracked this thread! ... Or whot!
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Old 06-23-2012, 21:28   #354
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Oh man! Have we sidetracked this thread! ... Or whot!

That will be for history to decide.
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Old 06-23-2012, 22:05   #355
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That will be for history to decide.
... or the future!
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Old 06-23-2012, 22:19   #356
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... or the future!

That's just history that hasn't happened yet
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Old 06-24-2012, 19:29   #357
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Today is tomorrow's yesterday.
The past is behind us; the future lies ahead.
The less you bet, the more you lose when you win.

Any of these worthy of consideration for the upper echelons of this thread?
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Old 06-24-2012, 21:23   #358
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Mildred L. Culpepper-Smith-Johnson-Williams, the now aged, infamous pen pal of thousands of lonely prison inmates across the united States, officially took the Guinness world record for being the oldest ever living woman. Already the recipient of the oldest living person record, Ms. Culpepper-Smith-Johnson-Williams, today became the oldest person to have ever lived outside of those patriarchs of Biblical times.

Officially 151 years old today, she attributes her good health to two things. One, she would only marry men with a lot of money, two, she only had affairs with time travelers who were part of the 35th dimension and could prove their Japanese lineage.

When asked what she would recommend to other women wanting to live to a ripe old age, she immediately quipped, "Well, like my current boyfriend told me, you should never put off to yesterday what you couldn't have done next week; additionally, never dispense mirth at the expense of the French in front of any Warriors of Peace.

Lastly, after a few bottles of good french wine and in between singing French songs, rabbit, Mildred added that's my pet name for him, rabbit told me, "Today is tomorrow's yesterday. The past is behind us; the future lies ahead. The less you bet, the more you lose when you win." However, Mildred continued, I never understood his wine infused ramblings. So don't ask me what that last one means.
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Old 06-24-2012, 21:38   #359
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After filing for his 17th corporate bankruptcy, , Adam Johnson, former CEO of Widgets, Inc. out of Miami, Fla, told his investors that he was sorry and could not figure out how he failed yet again to make a success out of his latest business venture. Adam, and all the present board of directors, were amazingly surprised at Widgets Inc. of Miami's losses due to the fact that no one else in the history of selling widgets has ever sold as many as Adam was able to do in his short tenure as CEO of the now bankrupt company.

At today's meeting of the board of directors, Adam elaborated that the cost for each unit produced was exactly $5.61, which he then mandated that the company's retail price for each item produced be exactly $5.00. Adam added that he understood he was taking an initial loss on the product, but was adamant that though he lost a little on selling one item, he just knew that he would make up the initial loss by selling a gross amount of products in higher volume than any other competing company.
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Old 06-24-2012, 21:45   #360
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Covert operators in Indonesia have finally been able to ascertain the meaning of the -C- in one Rick C's handle on GT.

The -C-, in Rick C, stands for "cheeky." Untold covert operators' lives were lost garnering this information, and probably many more will lost in finding out why it means cheeky, but one thing is for sure, this thread is now back on track!
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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"You gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?" - Josey Wales

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Old 06-24-2012, 22:17   #361
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Lastly, after a few bottles of good french wine and in between singing French songs, rabbit, that's my pet name for him, told me, "Today is tomorrow's yesterday. The past is behind us; the future lies ahead. The less you bet, the more you lose when you win." However, Mildred continued, I never understood his wine infused ramblings. So don't ask me what that last one means.
Her boyfriend, that rabbit guy, had been heard to observe that, while Millie was a boon companion, that last line demonstrates why he never took her to a casino!
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Old 06-25-2012, 07:17   #362
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The entire fossilized body structure of the mighty Thesaurus, a quadruped dinosaur of the middle to late Grammarian Epoch, has been found by a group of hippies digging a latrine near the Mt. St. Helen's volcano.

Dr. Ken Roget Canoodle, an archeologist brought in from England by the united States' government, advised that recovery of any Thesauri remains had always been a laborious and time consuming undertaking. Given the location and depth of this latest find, he advised that this particular Thesaurus fossil could take as long as 15 years to excavate, primarily due to it being a government project.

He noted that the bulk of the work was inadvertently completed by the hippies themselves. He said he had to trade some fresh apples and a few dollars to win back some of the bones the hippies had kept. Apparently the hippies had used several the smaller bones to make some one-hitter hashish pipes for their commune.
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"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
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Old 06-25-2012, 17:08   #363
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Dr. Roget-Canoodle's work is complicated financially by the government grant authorities internal disagreement on how to pronounce the plural of Thesaurus. The plural form pronunciation of Thesauruses is controversial in the pronunciation of the final syllable: is it "uz" or "eze". Such controversy easily accounts for significant delays in the government coughing up the grant money.
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Old 06-25-2012, 17:38   #364
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May 30, 2068 will mark the 50th "Open Carry Across America" day. This National Holiday encourages the open carrying of privately owned firearms by citizens, and was signed into law on May 25, 2018 by President Condoleezza Rice.

Last year Mayor Bloomberg III of NYC, ordered all police officers in NYC to arrest on sight, any person carrying a firearm on May 30th.

Unfortunately the police took that order quite literately and half of the police force arrested the other half of the police force. . . The remaining officers then spent the rest of the day arresting people who were using salt in public restaurants, and drinking sodas larger than 4 ounces.

Mayor Bloomberg III of NYC was also arrested that day for the illegal carrying of a firearm. The YouTube video of him being arrested while screaming "Not Me You ************ Idiots. . I'm Special. . I'm Special" went viral in 2 hours with 1.3 billion viewings. . .
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Old 06-25-2012, 18:20   #365
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Contrary to popular belief, Dr. Ken Roget Canoodle is not a real person and has never existed. Cannodle's work was actually a collaboration by three elephants, a Siberian tiger, two African lions, seven Australian wombats, 22 time-hopping kangaroos and a woman working as a receptionist in Nyack, New York.

Some people will belive anything, regardless of how flimsy the evidence.

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Old 06-25-2012, 20:43   #366
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Contrary to popular belief, Dr. Ken Roget Canoodle is not a real person and has never existed. Cannodle's work was actually a collaboration by three elephants, a Siberian tiger, two African lions, seven Australian wombats, 22 time-hopping kangaroos and a woman working as a receptionist in Nyack, New York.

Some people will belive anything, regardless of how flimsy the evidence.

Permit me the temerity to question the level of your scholarship.

The woman worked in EAST Nyack, and was the actual ringleader of the illicit publication effort. She financed this action with royalties derived from use of the names of the New York communities containing the word Nyack; when taken in groups of three, they become the classic Three Stooges line "Nyack Nyack Nyack!"
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Old 06-25-2012, 20:48   #367
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Dr. Roget-Canoodle's work is complicated financially by the government grant authorities internal disagreement on how to pronounce the plural of Thesaurus. The plural form pronunciation of Thesauruses is controversial in the pronunciation of the final syllable: is it "uz" or "eze". Such controversy easily accounts for significant delays in the government coughing up the grant money.
Dr. Ken Roget Canooodle finally cleared up the confusion by tweeting the following to the government grant office.

More than one Thesaurus: Thesauruses

A Male Thesaurus: Thesauri

A Female Thesaurus: Thesaurie


Some 35th dimensionalist who work at the grant office simply do not understand French.
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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"You gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?" - Josey Wales

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Old 06-25-2012, 20:49   #368
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May 30, 2068 will mark the 50th "Open Carry Across America" day. This National Holiday encourages the open carrying of privately owned firearms by citizens, and was signed into law on May 25, 2018 by President Condoleezza Rice.

Last year Mayor Bloomberg III of NYC, ordered all police officers in NYC to arrest on sight, any person carrying a firearm on May 30th.

Unfortunately the police took that order quite literately and half of the police force arrested the other half of the police force. . . The remaining officers then spent the rest of the day arresting people who were using salt in public restaurants, and drinking sodas larger than 4 ounces.

Mayor Bloomberg III of NYC was also arrested that day for the illegal carrying of a firearm. The YouTube video of him being arrested while screaming "Not Me You ************ Idiots. . I'm Special. . I'm Special" went viral in 2 hours with 1.3 billion viewings. . .
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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"You gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?" - Josey Wales
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Old 06-25-2012, 20:52   #369
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tous View Post
Contrary to popular belief, Dr. Ken Roget Canoodle is not a real person and has never existed. Cannodle's work was actually a collaboration by three elephants, a Siberian tiger, two African lions, seven Australian wombats, 22 time-hopping kangaroos and a woman working as a receptionist in Nyack, New York.

Some people will belive anything, regardless of how flimsy the evidence.

Unfortunately, it was reported today that Dr. ken Roget Canoodle has been listed as nonexistent due to the proclivities of several time hopping kangaroos hoping to take credit for all the archaeological work he had done in the past. .
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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"You gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?" - Josey Wales

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Old 06-25-2012, 21:19   #370
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Unfortunately, it was reported today that Dr. ken Roget Canoodle has been listed as nonexistent due to the proclivities of several time hopping kangaroos hoping to take credit for all the archaeological work he had done in the past. .
This is Dr. Ken Canoodle. It is correct that I do not actually exist...YET. I am still waiting for my Great, Great....Great Grandfather, Peace Warrior, to have sex with Mila Kunis and consummate my future existance.

PW, if time-flux readings are accurate, you have only 24 hours to find and seduce her or I will never be born. Please hurry.


This message sent from the 35th century using my antique CB radio.
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Old 06-25-2012, 21:32   #371
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This is trick by one of the d*mned lions that remain!!!

Once you are nonexistent due to time traveling vortices equal to or greater than -1.21 jiggawatts^3, there is no coming back.

Blast you infernal d*mned lions!
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"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
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Old 06-25-2012, 21:38   #372
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This is Dr. Ken Canoodle. It is correct that I do not actually exist...YET.
One day I saw upon the stair
a little man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today.
Oh how I wish he'd go away!
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Old 06-26-2012, 16:00   #373
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The Titanic did not sink in the North Atlantic on 15 April 1912. Contrary to a badly-invented story to cover the disappearance, the giant, state-of-the-art passenger steamer is the personal watercraft of Dr. Ken Roget Canoodle and he simply whisked it back to the 29th dimension.

In the wake of the absurdly false tragedy, the Society for the Preservation of Ice Bergs and the Iceberg Antidefamtion League were formed by influential hippie socialist vacationing in the early 20th century. Frankin Delano Roosevelt, Octavian, Wyatt Earp, Ghengis Khan and Jerry Rubin are notable members of these radical left-wing organizations whose motto is 'Ice First!'

As he does not exist, Dr. Ken Roget Canoodle could not be reached for comment.
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Old 06-26-2012, 19:08   #374
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It should also be noted that the left-wing new-age political movements are NEVER heard to acknowledge the indignity and injury inflicted on the ICEBERG by the Titanic. Within a mere season, the iceberg had evaporated down to nothing, with nobody even expressing any notice whatsoever of its passing.
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Old 06-26-2012, 19:19   #375
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A week after the purported sinking incident, a hue and cry of, "Ban assault steamships!" was heard far and wide. Though never proven, it is likely true that a dimension-hopping rabbit was the cataylst for the protest movement.

Within two months of the demand for a comprehensive assault-passenger liner ban, the Attorney General, Ken Roget Canoodle, announced that he would allow some steamships out of port so that his ever-vigilant agents could track them. He dubbed the program, "Avast and Curious." However, history records that once the suspect vessels were twenty-six feet from the dock, the agents lost track of them. Even stranger, the Attorney General vanished and no one could remember that the mysterious Canoodle ever existed.
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