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Old 05-19-2012, 12:32   #241
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GT member, Paul53, a time traveler originally from the year 2087, but now stuck in 2012 (I know, sucks for him ), already knew about the nuclear war in outer space and the arriving aliens who had technologies superior to any on the Earth.

Through his covert Washington DC contact, he was able to get the Pentagon to formally accept his plan about allowing the French Foreign Legion of Intergalactic Space to frontally attack the aliens from France's top secret Mars bases while simultaneously conducting a flanking maneuver on the aliens from French Foreign Legion of Intergalactic Space reserve troops that were strategically located on Pluto in case of such an attack, which he said based upon the future's history, France would overcome the aliens by way of a special weapon only developed in 2038.
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Last edited by Peace Warrior; 05-19-2012 at 12:36..
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Old 05-19-2012, 12:41   #242
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Known only as RonS, a hermit type individual and mass inventor whose only contact with the outside world was an internet connection, in 2038, RonS developed space helmet based on the design of a WWII coal scuttle breathing mask.

This new mask allowed for practically unlimited dexterity and vision during space treks and was also used widely by the secretive French Foreign Legion of Intergalactic Space. The leaders of the French Foreign Legion of Intergalactic Space said it was the one thing that helped them win the war of 2014 with the aliens.
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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
“I would call my attorney general in and review every single executive order issued by George Bush and overturn those laws or executive decisions that I feel violate the constitution.” - Barry Soetoro
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"It's a lot simpler to fool people than it is to convince them they've been fooled."

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Old 05-19-2012, 12:47   #243
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Originally Posted by Peace Warrior View Post
Known only as RonS, a hermit type individual and mass inventor whose only contact with the outside world was an internet connection, in 2038, RonS developed space helmet based on the design of a WWII coal scuttle breathing mask.

This new mask allowed for practically unlimited dexterity and vision during space treks and was also used widely by the secretive French Foreign Legion of Intergalactic Space. The leaders of the French Foreign Legion of Intergalactic Space said it was the one thing that helped them win the war of 2014 with the aliens.
This device took advantage of the ability of the French to survive on recycled anal vapors
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Old 05-19-2012, 12:56   #244
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After banning all persons from bringing guns into their restaurant establishments, except for those persons carrying 1911's, a spokesman was reached for comment and made this statement, "Hey, we felt that we needed to keep our most reliable customers happy. That's how Taco Bell rolls."
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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
“I would call my attorney general in and review every single executive order issued by George Bush and overturn those laws or executive decisions that I feel violate the constitution.” - Barry Soetoro
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"It's a lot simpler to fool people than it is to convince them they've been fooled."

Last edited by Peace Warrior; 05-19-2012 at 12:57..
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Old 05-19-2012, 15:32   #245
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Taco Bell has always bene a front for regional CONTROL offices in their never-ending battle with KAOS. We know this to be true because, on occasion, one can spot a Sunbeam Tiger attempting to navigate the drive through and missing it by that much.
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Old 05-19-2012, 15:45   #246
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Between the years of April of 2007 and January of 2012, the website, known as GlockTalk.com, was flooded with new membership sign ups. It seems that these new members were signing up in order to start threads that typically had a thread starter posting pertinent facts concerning medical symptoms related to either chronic health problems, and or a recent traumatic injury, and then asking other GT members to post medical advice that would help solve the health issue or injury. During the time span mentioned earlier, incredibly, people began experiencing total, full, and unbelievable recoveries when following the advice of complete strangers that had absolutely no medical training whatsoever.
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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
“I would call my attorney general in and review every single executive order issued by George Bush and overturn those laws or executive decisions that I feel violate the constitution.” - Barry Soetoro
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"It's a lot simpler to fool people than it is to convince them they've been fooled."

Last edited by Peace Warrior; 05-21-2012 at 05:44..
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Old 05-19-2012, 15:55   #247
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Regard, if you will, the ground-breaking work of Professor Winton Slumbunder of the famed Whatsamatta University. Dr. Slumbunder has proven time and again that there are no cute fuzzy bunnies in Japan and there were no large floating bunnies in the incident you referred to.

Permit me the temerity to heavily discount Slumbunder's later work, for which you seem overly impressed.

Slumbunder's early work was world-class, but then he began to slip to the point at which he would publish ANYTHING in exchange for a flask of moonshine and a good tee time at his favorite golf course. A tragic fall, of course, but still applicable to our current "disagreement."

And as for Whatsamatta U. ,,, well, most of that university's endowment was funded by organizations that would break my legs if I revealed their contributions.

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Old 05-19-2012, 15:55   #248
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delete
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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
“I would call my attorney general in and review every single executive order issued by George Bush and overturn those laws or executive decisions that I feel violate the constitution.” - Barry Soetoro
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"It's a lot simpler to fool people than it is to convince them they've been fooled."

Last edited by Peace Warrior; 05-19-2012 at 16:31.. Reason: tried to start a new thread
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Old 05-20-2012, 08:07   #249
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Thank you for some great giggles, amigos.

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Old 05-20-2012, 15:09   #250
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During the Renaissance Leonardo daVinci invented many items. Among these were the helicopter, roast beef and GlockTalk.

The helicopter and roast beef are well documented but GlockTalk was lost for centuries until it was rediscovered at a drag strip in New Orleans by a Big Giant Head.

On a side note Grandma Moses is a direct descendant of daVinci.
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Old 05-20-2012, 15:48   #251
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The 9mm has never killed a man and the 45acp is so slow that everyone has outrun the bullet before it could strike them.
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Old 05-20-2012, 17:16   #252
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At 1:54 pm EDT on July 21 1969, when the engine on the (Eagle's) Lunar module Failed to exnight, to lift Armstrong and Aldrin off of the moon surface.
Armstrong opened the lunar modules door and fired his 10 mm toward the moon's surface.
At 4:35 pm they docked with the command service module.
One hour ahead of schedule.
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Old 05-20-2012, 19:26   #253
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Hillary Clinton is hotter then Tracy Lords
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Old 05-21-2012, 05:40   #254
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Astrologist are predicting that by the year 2022, the Earth's moon will stop rotating completely and fly off into space colliding with Pluto in the year 2298.

At the present time, the experts state that they are not really sure as to all the immediate ramifications or effects this will cause for the Earth, or more importantly the Earth's orbital path around the Sun; however, recent data from a super-computer's program, which was created solely to research the phenomena of the Moon's slowing rotation, indicates that the receding of the Moon's rotation began sometime during NASA's Apollo space program.
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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
“I would call my attorney general in and review every single executive order issued by George Bush and overturn those laws or executive decisions that I feel violate the constitution.” - Barry Soetoro
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"It's a lot simpler to fool people than it is to convince them they've been fooled."

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Old 05-21-2012, 06:03   #255
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Jimmyjoe Jimbob Delray, of Ben Fin Easton, TN, which is just outside the suburbs of Bucksnort, TN, has proven conclusively to a local judge and jury of his peers that his claims of being able to catch fish on blades of grass from his lawn were all true. The jury returned not-guilty verdicts, on all 16 counts against him, Friday afternoon.

Mr. Delray had been charged with 16 counts of false advertising after selling lawn clippings from his yard as premium fishing bait. Mr. Delay's attorney, the infamous Jackie Chiles, of New York City, NY, was quoted as saying, "The charges against my client were baseless, groundless, egregious, outrageous and preposterous. They were all clear violations of my client's constitutional rights as a retailer and small business owner. My client was not the person responsible to advise the Sheriff's brother-in-law that he actually had to use hooks when fishing with my client's premium fishing bait."
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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
“I would call my attorney general in and review every single executive order issued by George Bush and overturn those laws or executive decisions that I feel violate the constitution.” - Barry Soetoro
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"It's a lot simpler to fool people than it is to convince them they've been fooled."

Last edited by Peace Warrior; 05-21-2012 at 06:32..
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Old 05-21-2012, 06:22   #256
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Researches from ITT Technical Institute and the Tulsa Welding School have released their preliminary findings from studies they've conducted on re-using the unburned charcoal from a previous BBQ. Although the studies disagree widely on several data points, there are some conclusions shared by both groups of independent testers.

Both the ITT and TWS studies were completed utilizing laboratory rats. Of these, both the ITT and TWS preliminary findings indicate that we should always utilize new charcoal for our BBQ's.

The findings, which again are very preliminary at this point, seem to indicate that the rats fed with food items, which were cooked over new charcoal, were able to cipher complex algebraical functions in less than three months. Conversely, the rats fed with food items, which were cooked over the reused, unburned charcoal from a previous BBQ, were all dead at the end of testing period.

However, the studies were contrary as far as to how good the dead rats tasted when cooked over new charcoal verses those dead rats that were being cooked over the reused, unburned charcoal from a previous BBQ.

At the time of this publication, both ITT and TWS are currently applying for grant monies so as to purchase more rats and charcoal for further, hopefully more conclusive testing results.
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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
“I would call my attorney general in and review every single executive order issued by George Bush and overturn those laws or executive decisions that I feel violate the constitution.” - Barry Soetoro
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"It's a lot simpler to fool people than it is to convince them they've been fooled."

Last edited by Peace Warrior; 05-21-2012 at 06:28..
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Old 05-21-2012, 07:12   #257
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After months of reflection, former Olympic gold medal winner, down hill and alpine ski racer, Picabo [pronounced Peek-a-boo] Street, has turned in her formal resignation as a nurse to the St. Luke's Meridian Medical Center's intensive care unit, which is located in Meridian, Idaho. Ms. Street has decided instead to pursue a career as a 1st grade teacher in her former hometown of Triumph, Idaho.

Ms. Street stated that she just didn't feel as if she was being allowed to contribute to the overall success of the hospital as her supervisors were limiting her work efforts on a daily basis so she decided on a career change.

When reached for comment, the hospital's HR spokesman advised, "The only thing the supervisors asked Ms. Street to do was to allow others on the floor to answer the phone instead of her." The spokesman further added, "We tried to explain that her answering the phone, 'Picabo, I-C-U,' had been starting to give callers the wrong impression about the professionalism of our hospital's care givers."
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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
“I would call my attorney general in and review every single executive order issued by George Bush and overturn those laws or executive decisions that I feel violate the constitution.” - Barry Soetoro
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"It's a lot simpler to fool people than it is to convince them they've been fooled."

Last edited by Peace Warrior; 05-21-2012 at 07:14..
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Old 05-25-2012, 23:44   #258
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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
“I would call my attorney general in and review every single executive order issued by George Bush and overturn those laws or executive decisions that I feel violate the constitution.” - Barry Soetoro
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"It's a lot simpler to fool people than it is to convince them they've been fooled."

Last edited by Peace Warrior; 05-25-2012 at 23:44..
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Old 05-30-2012, 13:50   #259
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After a many years of investigation, the NAACP is now claiming that the Koreans have been keeping the black man down all these years, by opening up small grocery stores in predominately black neighborhoods and offering the residents what they want.
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Old 05-30-2012, 13:55   #260
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Twenty one years ago today Craig Edick managed to whip the infamous Ron Bennett in a fair fight. Craig got off to a bad start when he lost his footing on the basketball court where the brawl took place. Ron was landing body shots and had Craig ready to tap out when he managed to plant an elbow in the side of Rons jaw. Ron had been terrorizing the neighborhood kids for years and his reign is now over. Craig had numerous stitches to his head and face while Ron suffered a broken jaw, requiring his jaw to be wired shut.


The real version had Ron catching me in the bridge of the nose causing me to go night night. I tried...................
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