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Old 05-18-2012, 21:46   #221
tous
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The fact that there were samurai rabbits has been proven a hoax.

Not only have there never been nor are there now rabbits, hares or bunnies in Japan with the possible exception of Bugs Bunny, but the strict social order of the culture made it improbable that a cute, fuzzy bunny could rise from woodland creature class into the warrior caste.

There were and are today ninja warrior turtles.
That's an indisputable fact.
I seen it on the TV.

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Old 05-18-2012, 22:32   #222
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The origin of the Tuxedo Cat

My tuxedo cat Gunny just wandered in, gave me a nudge and a wink to remind me to post about his origins.

Most, if not all, people know that cats were worshiped in Ancient Egypt. Archeologists have even found complete tombs with mummified cats in their own little coffins.

What is less well known is the early diplomatic links that Egyptian cats had with their various cousins around the world. Particularly in times of war the Egyptian cats kept in close touch with their counter-parts on the opposing side.

There was such a need for diplomacy, the Order Of The Tuxedo Cat was formed and small tuxes were knitted by the Pharaohs wives. Cats in these early tuxes could easily get through enemy lines posing as waiters and relay messages back and forth.

This is one of the reasons for the long reign of the Egyptian Empire and the Pharaohs. And as time went on the Pharaohs wives carried on the tradition of knitting these small tuxes for the Tuxedo Cat Corp.

The Egyptian Empire would probably still reign today except for an unfortunate accident. Rames III second wife simply could not keep knit-one pearl-two straight and thus the Empire started to disintegrate from lack of diplomatic connections and small tuxes.

The Tuxedo Cat Corp got exceedingly grumpy about the whole mess and took it upon themselves to create their own tuxes using their own hair...and thus the Tuxedo Cat was born.

Today you can still see remnants of the Tuxedo Cat Corp in the regal bearing of all Tuxedo Cats. However they refuse to admit they crossed enemy lines as waiters. Instead they insist they used false passports and posed as Ninja-cats.

This can't be true of course since everyone knows Ninja-cats evolved after Tuxedo cats.
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Old 05-19-2012, 00:15   #223
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People don't know that settlers seeking land and the United States Army didn't conquer the western frontier -- Chuck Norris did, after going through a time loop to Dodge City, Kansas, in 1867.
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Old 05-19-2012, 00:24   #224
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Adolph Hitler suffered from "Pseudoflatulaphobia" an inordinate fear of Whoopie Cushions.
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Old 05-19-2012, 01:11   #225
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The prototype unimog was first used in the Oklahoma land run of 1889. It was used by my Great great grandfather to secure the property that is now downtown Oklahoma City. Also, he cheated, jumped the gun as a "Sooner". You just can't stop a unimog on horseback.
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Old 05-19-2012, 01:15   #226
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The prototype unimog was first used in the Oklahoma land run of 1889. It was used by my Great great grandfather to secure the property that is now downtown Oklahoma City. Also, he cheated, jumped the gun as a "Sooner". You just can't stop a unimog on horseback.

He was punished for cheating by being turned in to an "Okie"
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Old 05-19-2012, 02:48   #227
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He was punished for cheating by being turned in to an "Okie"
Yes. By the Great Depression, dust bowl, and fled to CA, serving time in a granola hell.
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Old 05-19-2012, 06:14   #228
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Quote:
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The fact that there were samurai rabbits has been proven a hoax.

Not only have there never been nor are there now rabbits, hares or bunnies in Japan with the possible exception of Bugs Bunny, but the strict social order of the culture made it improbable that a cute, fuzzy bunny could rise from woodland creature class into the warrior caste.

It is possible that circumstances have produced the makings of this thread's first overt flame war. (Or, phrasing it in the vernacular of the common-rabble proletariat: Bring it on, Cuz!)

Your assertion that Samurai Rabbits are a hoax is the kind of irrational advocacy more worthy of the mainstream media than it is in this distinguished forum. After all, without even putting down my beer, I can bring up the documented coverage of the unfortunate encounter of the Monty Python Knights of the Round Table with what THEY first thought was just some unthreatening cute bunny! If the Knights' logistics crew had fouled up by believing the doctrine you advocate, and thereby leaving the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch in the Ale Vault back at the castle, then that search effort for the Holy Grail would have been stuck up the Yangtze without a sampan!

Only someone with a French-sounding handle and an avatar of a moo-cow that can't see straight because a scrawny tophat has slipped down to block its vision could crank out such philosophical drivel.

I await your pitiful attempt to respond to my criticism.

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Old 05-19-2012, 06:39   #229
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Twilight was based on a true story
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Old 05-19-2012, 06:40   #230
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Obama is the best president ever.
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Old 05-19-2012, 08:19   #231
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Quote:
Originally Posted by samurairabbi View Post
Only someone with a French-sounding handle and an avatar of a moo-cow that can't see straight because a scrawny tophat has slipped down to block its vision could crank out such philosophical drivel.

I await your pitiful attempt to respond to my criticism.

My chapeau is not scrawny and my argument, contrary to being drivel, is simply brilliant!

Regard, if you will, the ground-breaking work of Professor Winton Slumbunder of the famed Whatsamatta University. Dr. Slumbunder has proven time and again that there are no cute fuzzy bunnies in Japan and there were no large floating bunnies in the incident you referred to.

Anyone with the power to observe and logically synthesize knows full well that the dubious repots to the contrary were supplied by simple people fooled by wombats disguised as bunnies.

These incidents, know as The Great Bruno Wombat Deception after its creator, has the goal of making the uninformed believe in rabbits where, of course, none exist.

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Old 05-19-2012, 09:03   #232
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In 2087 I built the first time machine. I came back to 2012 to see the country rejoice in Barak Obama's re-election.

In 2087 Glock fixes the "beaned by brass" problem in Gen 4 through 8 Glocks. Sony announces a new Bravia phone, gas is 20 cents per gallon but nobody can afford cars anyway due to all the safety regulations. George Bush is recognised as a genius.

Unfortunatley I'm stuck here now since the time machine wont be invented for another 75 years. Really sucks, I shoulda thought this out better.
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Old 05-19-2012, 09:16   #233
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The "Supergun" Iraq was building to shell Tel Aviv was actually chambered in 10mm.
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Old 05-19-2012, 09:22   #234
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Quote:
Originally Posted by samurairabbi View Post
It is possible that circumstances have produced the makings of this thread's first overt flame war. (Or, phrasing it in the vernacular of the common-rabble proletariat: Bring it on, Cuz!)

Your assertion that Samurai Rabbits are a hoax is the kind of irrational advocacy more worthy of the mainstream media than it is in this distinguished forum. After all, without even putting down my beer, I can bring up the documented coverage of the unfortunate encounter of the Monty Python Knights of the Round Table with what THEY first thought was just some unthreatening cute bunny! If the Knights' logistics crew had fouled up by believing the doctrine you advocate, and thereby leaving the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch in the Ale Vault back at the castle, then that search effort for the Holy Grail would have been stuck up the Yangtze without a sampan!

Only someone with a French-sounding handle and an avatar of a moo-cow that can't see straight because a scrawny tophat has slipped down to block its vision could crank out such philosophical drivel.

I await your pitiful attempt to respond to my criticism.

touch'e (or is that too french?)
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"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"It's a lot simpler to fool people than it is to convince them they've been fooled."
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Old 05-19-2012, 09:39   #235
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The internet user, known as jambog, was actually only two hours late with being awarded the patent on a new computer word processing program that allow users to select and highlight a single letter, or up to a full page of text, and after a couple of mouse clicks, digitally copy the highlighted text, and then reapply this text (or 'paste' as it is known today), to another open word processor.

One month after formally applying at the patent office, he was advised by certified letter that he was turned down for the patent and then found out that he was only two hours late behind the new patent's actual recipient, his closest friends say that something about him "changed." Ever since he was turned down, he has roamed the internet repeatedly copying and pasting existing threads back into their original internet forums.

This has led to a change in the internet nomenclature when applied to an occurrence of someone accidentally posting an already existing topic as a new thread, today such an occurrence is known as a jambog.
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“I would call my attorney general in and review every single executive order issued by George Bush and overturn those laws or executive decisions that I feel violate the constitution.” - Barry Soetoro
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
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Old 05-19-2012, 09:42   #236
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Nothing can be too French.
Who do you think came up with the idea of cleverly disguised wombats as cute, fuzzy bunnies? The French word for rabbit, lapin, actually translates to 'false bunny.'


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Old 05-19-2012, 09:49   #237
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Due to the top secret nature of their own space program, France has never cared that they did not receive accolades for being the first nation, and not the third, to successfully send a satellite into orbit.


(Serious Tous, France was the third nation to do it. Not bad considering it was Russia and US holding down # 1 and #2 respectively. Vive la France!)
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“I would call my attorney general in and review every single executive order issued by George Bush and overturn those laws or executive decisions that I feel violate the constitution.” - Barry Soetoro
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
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Old 05-19-2012, 11:56   #238
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Most people don't know that the first nuclear war in outer space has already happened. The USA with help from France holding there own against the USSR when an alien ship arrive and explained to everyone involved that the war needs to end now or the aliens would eliminate everyone. We could kill each other as much as we wanted to on earth, but were not allowed to kill anyone in space as it was there territory. This is why the USA has not sent any weapons into space in a long time.
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Old 05-19-2012, 12:18   #239
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Richard Nixon decided to open a "detante" with the Chinese and begin diplomatic relations when Henry Kissinger told him "Look, there are millions of Chinese and they can't all be Wong"
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Old 05-19-2012, 12:20   #240
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Moshe Dyan was the inspiration for John Wayne's character in on of his most famous movies. The original title of the movie was to be "Gefilte Cogburn"
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