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Old 11-09-2009, 08:41   #1201
Lone_Wolfe
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Another Miller View Post
............
Right on!


Even something so simple as the sunrise,can be an amazing sight after a close call.The silence can be deafening.
..........


I quoted this from another thread because................


well. just because.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
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Old 11-09-2009, 09:35   #1202
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Just another picture for you to enjoy.


Okie Memorial Area
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Old 11-09-2009, 11:16   #1203
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Silent_Runner View Post
Critias that is a wonderful post. I have probably read your story. And I think you never have to worry about Wolfe ever taking another Ambien or Prozac.


Hawk I have known all along that you are a very wise man and you have just given me more proof.

What you are doing for Wolfe is incredible.


Hello everyone. I spoke to Wolfe a little while ago and I think what she said is true. She seems to have finally accepted that she almost died. Of course this would have happened months ago if not for the failed drug therapy but better late than never. She still seems very shaken but now she has hope. Please keep praying but I believe she is finally on the right track.
I agree about Critís post. Iíve probably read it 50 times by now. Thereís several in this thread like that. It really makes a difference when there's a common bond in this case. Thanks again Crit.

Hawk is just one of several people here that I think missed their calling. Iím so lucky that they are doing so much for me.

Are you happy now? I said what you wanted me to say. Yeah, I finally got the message. My nickname doesnít even bother me so much now. Iím still kinda dazed by it, and I got a lot to think about. Prayers are certainly still appreciated and will be for a while I guess.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
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Old 11-09-2009, 22:44   #1204
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Old 11-09-2009, 23:02   #1205
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Old 11-10-2009, 00:10   #1206
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Hi LW, just wanted to drop in and give you a pretty flower. I wish that I could post a photo of my seal point himilayan for you. Her name is Reagan (after Ronald) and she is a pretty cat. The photo must not be the right size, because it won't copy and paste. I've tried everything. If anyone has advice, I would like to learn.
Thanks for the PM. It has been nice reading your responses here. It seems as though a cloud has lifted and you might be feeling more optimistic. Remember, sweet pea, that you can always be completely frank here. We all admire your strength, courage and honesty. And, as we go through this, I am learning with you. I've received some curveballs lately, so the advice others give you and the wisdom you share, helps me too.
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Old 11-10-2009, 00:41   #1207
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May God bless you with a complete recovery and His everlasting peace.

(Sorry, I'm a late arrival to this thread, and haven't read it all, and doubt I will start at 1:30 AM)
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Old 11-10-2009, 04:48   #1208
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
...

Yeah, I finally got the message. My nickname doesnít even bother me so much now. Iím still kinda dazed by it, and I got a lot to think about. Prayers are certainly still appreciated and will be for a while I guess.
Prayers won't stop, nor will the

But you're the one doing the work here when you open up and let us talk, answer and encourage you. Opening up like you have is very hard, and in doing it you have helped yourself and others.

For that matter, tell the doctor that is now working with you that we owe him a beer for straightening out all the drug mess and getting you to where you could heal.

Love, prayers, and gentle

Hawk
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Old 11-10-2009, 08:27   #1209
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Are you happy now? I said what you wanted me to say. Yeah, I finally got the message. My nickname doesnít even bother me so much now. Iím still kinda dazed by it, and I got a lot to think about. Prayers are certainly still appreciated and will be for a while I guess.
Of course Iím happy that you finally understand. Hopefully that means I can put the Louisville Slugger away soon. You just think about it and talk about as long as you need to. Then when you are ready you can deal with everything else you still have on your plate. I see you changed your location in your profile, Cat. I like it. Now be glad or where you are. Or else.
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I mean, Iím mentally ill, not mentally deficient! There's a difference between psycho and stupid.
Rest in Peace Jeff Abshire-1962-2012-aka 23Skidoo
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Old 11-10-2009, 13:36   #1210
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Deadday is that your son? He’s adorable! The pup’s a cutie too.
I have a question for you about your nightmares, what were the “colors” ones like? The reason I ask is I had a nightmare again last night, but not like what I’ve been having. I don’t even remember it all, but I woke up from it like I have been. The good thing is I got about 3 hours sleep before I did. What I do remember about it is really vague, like I was watching a battle scene through frosted glass and all I could really see was the colors, but not the shapes. I could hear the sounds, but they seemed muffled.



GlockerMike was that pic really taken in Oklahoma? Wow, it’s beautiful, I need to visit there someday.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Brown Hawk View Post
Of course I need a shrink. I'm a software engineer. : rofl:

It's just that you need to realize that some of your feelings and attitudes are the same feelings and attitudes of other people who have gone through things the same or similar to what you are experiencing.

Part of the healing process is realizing that other people have gone through the same array of emotions and problems, and that what you are going through is normal for your abnormal situation. (Say that five times fast! : whistling: )

On the other hand, no one has ever cured a software engineer - because we all know that we are the only sane ones in an insane world. I mean all the computers keep telling us that every day. :s upergrin:

Love, prayers and : hugs:

Hawk
If YOU need a shrink then I’m in trouble! You’re most sane that most people I know, including the different shrinks I’ve dealt with over here. Of course who am I to judge. They’ve already told me I’m crazy….. well, it not so many words. Oh, and the computers I work with seem to think I’m nuts too. They sure don’t want to do what I tell them until I get ready to go psycho on them.

But I do think you're doing me more good than the shrink I have now. That goes for a bunch of you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Geeorge View Post
Is this what you want?


Quote:
Originally Posted by wallytoo View Post
May God bless you with a complete recovery and His everlasting peace.

(Sorry, I'm a late arrival to this thread, and haven't read it all, and doubt I will start at 1:30 AM)
Thank you for your prayers wallytoo. Heh, I guess it has gotten a bit long for someone just joining. I'm thinking I should put a readers digest version in one of the page 1 posts...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Silent_Runner View Post
Of course I’m happy that you finally understand. Hopefully that means I can put the Louisville Slugger away soon. You just think about it and talk about as long as you need to. Then when you are ready you can deal with everything else you still have on your plate. I see you changed your location in your profile, Cat. I like it. Now be glad or where you are. Or else.
Give the bat to Brown Hawk or something… It wouldn’t do much good for me to finally accept almost dying just to have you kill me, now would it. I can’t help think about it right now, even though people say not to. I’m sure that won’t last, but right now I’m just still kinda rocked by it. And yes, I can’t help but wonder why. I just hope it’s to do some real good in the world somehow. I know I have other stuff to face, but I don’t want to just yet. I just kind of want to enjoy this little victory. I’m still on the same side of a tombstone that you are.

And just who are you callin’ “Cat”?



Quote:
Originally Posted by Glock26girl View Post
Hi LW, just wanted to drop in and give you a pretty flower. I wish that I could post a photo of my seal point himilayan for you. Her name is Reagan (after Ronald) and she is a pretty cat. The photo must not be the right size, because it won't copy and paste. I've tried everything. If anyone has advice, I would like to learn.
Thanks for the PM. It has been nice reading your responses here. It seems as though a cloud has lifted and you might be feeling more optimistic. Remember, sweet pea, that you can always be completely frank here. We all admire your strength, courage and honesty. And, as we go through this, I am learning with you. I've received some curveballs lately, so the advice others give you and the wisdom you share, helps me too.
I love it when you "drop by". I wish I could see you kitty, I had a few Himis years ago. That’s a pretty Phal, makes me miss the ones I used to have. I’d like to get a few orchids when I get home. Yes, I’m starting to think the light at the end of the tunnel might not be the train. It’s still a ways off, but I’m starting to feel some hope again. I’m starting to realize I didn’t join the Borrowed Time Club just to give up and let the Afghani bastards win now. I still feel like I want to give up sometimes, but not as much and it’s a bit easier to push those thoughts away today than it was yesterday. It really does me some good to think all this is helping someone besides just me. I know I’m getting so much from all of you that I just feel selfish sometimes. But a friend was telling me recently how helping someone like me makes them feel good and he’s right. When I get the chance to do something for someone else I feel like I’m the one who benefits. He was also talking to me about how people need hope and how I’m the “against all odds survivor” and I give them hope. So maybe I’m really not the only one getting something from all this. I’m so glad that you are too.



Night everyone, time for to go get a good night's sleep.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
FREEDOM IS NOT FREE

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Old 11-10-2009, 13:40   #1211
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More kisses for ya sweetheart
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Old 11-10-2009, 13:41   #1212
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Some of theses also
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Old 11-10-2009, 13:43   #1213
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And a
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Old 11-10-2009, 19:00   #1214
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Quote:
Deadday is that your son? He’s adorable! The pup’s a cutie too.
I have a question for you about your nightmares, what were the “colors” ones like? The reason I ask is I had a nightmare again last night, but not like what I’ve been having. I don’t even remember it all, but I woke up from it like I have been. The good thing is I got about 3 hours sleep before I did. What I do remember about it is really vague, like I was watching a battle scene through frosted glass and all I could really see was the colors, but not the shapes. I could hear the sounds, but they seemed muffled.
..that is the grandchild...adorable isn't he?

..the clors were flashes or different brights, then darks...purples, reds, blacks....ever been to a laser light show? Very similar to that..but terrifying for some reason..
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Old 11-10-2009, 19:54   #1215
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Old 11-10-2009, 19:55   #1216
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Old 11-10-2009, 22:26   #1217
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I agree with BH on your dream, and his words of wisdom. Detached determination is a great way to describe what those combat docs have to manage... I don't how they manage to do it, patient after patient... Hard enough when the damage is done by an accident, let alone when every brutalized patient is a kid that someone deliberately bloodied, maimed, or destroyed... God bless them. It may feel cold and detached, but that's the only way I think they can keep from going totally insane with what man is capable of doing to other people's kids...

And yes, I also agree with BH software people can be odd, and I would add that they can smell funny if they stay in the computer lab too long (which they often do, at least in school.) But they *are* emminently logical, and I think that logic is very helpful in wading through & understanding emotional turmoil sometimes. And then there are those times my wife tells me to quit being a GD fixer and just listen... I don't do the "just listen" thing well- Listen-and-fix, Listen-and-fix: That's what I do. "If you don't need your problem fixed, don't tell me about it, cuz ima fix your GD'ed problem, woman!" ;-) But I digress...

The "Borrowed Time Club" is a funny thing. Two-time member myself. Once after being attacked by 8 ****bags, including having my skull cracked by a 2x4 (which explains some things) and when that didn't work, knifed a couple times. But by then my buddies were becoming aware of what was going on, and wading into the fray... And there's something tremendously empowering about coming through the far side of that. In my case, knowing that I held the field of battle, still standing, while they fled... Well, it's hard for anybody to drag me down in the business world now-a-days, because I've been through worse and I'm still ****ing standing.

Take some of that away- You have been on a ride/journey through the deepest, darkest parts of your soul, and are in the process of coming out the other side. Don't expect to ever be the "same" person- To attempt that would be immensely frustrating. But you may find a sort of peace and inner power and dignity that you can hold onto in your core for the rest of your life.

One of the fears my nightmares surfaced was of powerlessness and victimization. Being unable to act as I was surrounded and knifed over and over, in graphic 1st-person detail, was one of them. Part of getting past that was taking control of that fear- Acknowledging it for what it was, and after an appropriate time to make sure I was doing it for the right reasons, getting trained and armed.

In your case, I'm not sure your dream is calling for as much action on your part, as it is acceptance. Perhaps moving through that illusion of total independence/self-sufficiency and into a greater understanding of our inter-conected-ness and inter-dependence, which is a frightening thing. It sort of sounds like that's where you may, in fact, be going now. But, that's just my take based on the snapshot we see a world away, here...

I pray that you may find that place of inner strength and peace where the troubles of the world, and the noise of life, will have a harder time shaking your core, and your foundations remain secure in the knowledge of who you are, and what you are capable of... Lady_Wolfe, Princess_Wolfe, hold your head high- For you, too, are still standing.
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Old 11-10-2009, 22:33   #1218
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Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe
I mean, I’m mentally ill, not mentally deficient! There's a difference between psycho and stupid.


This is absolutely superb...... Thank you.
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Old 11-11-2009, 00:23   #1219
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GlockerMike was that pic really taken in Oklahoma?
Shoot no LW! We got lots of red dirt and open prairies here, unless you go southeast or northeast. That was just one of many graphics I've saved off the web over the years. The caption read this:

"The Wizard of Awe, Wizard Island, Crater Lake National Park, Oregon"

My view is of things more like this:


Okie Memorial Area


and this:


Okie Memorial Area


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Old 11-11-2009, 01:28   #1220
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Okie I can't believe you slipped her the Tongue in public like that

I'm a bad boy
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Old 11-11-2009, 06:50   #1221
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deadday View Post
..that is the grandchild...adorable isn't he?

..the clors were flashes or different brights, then darks...purples, reds, blacks....ever been to a laser light show? Very similar to that..but terrifying for some reason..
Yes, he isÖ
OK, so my dream wasnít the same at all. The colors seems brighter than they should have been, but not flashes or anything like that. Still scary and upsetting although Iím not sure why.


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Some of theses also: hugs:
Thank you okie. back

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Hope you is a little better today,can't do it all at once: wavey:

: hugs:
Trust me if I could do it all at once I would and I would be done with the shrinks, doc, and even thinking about it. And thank you, today is a little better. Something about being knocked out good last night....

Quote:
Originally Posted by janice6 View Post
Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe
I mean, Iím mentally ill, not mentally deficient! There's a difference between psycho and stupid.


This is absolutely superb...... Thank you.
Glad you like it. You know I got sig lined over that remark, donít youÖÖ




Hey Brown Hawk, I told my doc what you said about the beer and he laughed. He likes Guiness. Iíll buy him all the beer he ever wants.
You know, I wonít soon forget what he said when he took over my case in August. Iíd ended up back in the hospital and was kept completely knocked out for a couple days. Then on what I think was my third day there I was allowed to wake up but still pretty sedated. He called my shrink and a couple other docs into the room and said ďI want you all to see this and listen to me. If you people want to kill your patient there are quicker, less painful ways than what youíre doing here. We have a patient who has more problems after a few months on anti-depressants and sleep aids than she ever did before. Iím going to get her off this stuff so she at least has a chance to recover and if I have to strap her to this bed to keep her from killing herself in the mean time I will. Youíve been killing her slowly by not checking her tolerance to these things and apparently not even looking at drug interaction charts. Now this is how itís going to be from now on. No one is going to give her even so much as an aspirin without my approval. Nothing. All of her treatment will be approved through me or it wonít happen!Ē

Heís stuck to that too, and even had me strapped to the bed a couple times.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
FREEDOM IS NOT FREE
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Old 11-11-2009, 09:57   #1222
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Glad you like it. You know I got sig lined over that remark, donít youÖÖ

...


I agree with her deadday. Your grandson is darling.

My dear friend I want to wish you and every veteran reading this a happy Veteran's Day. I know I probably cursed you decision to go over there at least 1000 times including before you got hurt. But I must remember that even computer nerds like yourself are fighting for our freedom and you made the sacrifice to go over there as willingly as anyone else and we still live in a free country because of all of you who have done so.




GlockerMike do you have a smaller copy of that second picture in your last post? Wolfe told me she can't see it and I can see why. It's huge and she is on a slow connection..
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I mean, Iím mentally ill, not mentally deficient! There's a difference between psycho and stupid.
Rest in Peace Jeff Abshire-1962-2012-aka 23Skidoo
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Old 11-11-2009, 10:00   #1223
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I agree with her deadday. Your grandson is darling.
...Mrs Dead and I love the guy to death...unfortunately his parents don't feel the same way...poor guy just got dropped down the wrong chimney...

Okie Memorial Area
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Old 11-11-2009, 12:27   #1224
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My dear friend I want to wish you and every veteran reading this a happy Veteran's Day. I know I probably cursed you decision to go over there at least 1000 times including before you got hurt. ...........
..
deadday I can't believe some wouldn't love a little like him. But it happens every day, all over the world. Hell, my dad would have jumped at the chance to be rid of me when I was that age.



Thank you Silent_Runner. Yes, I've heard all those times you've cursed my choice, my ears are still singed. What can I say, I did what felt right at the time. Whether not I'll think it was worth it remains to be seen. I know I spent barely a month doing what I was sent here to do, but at least I'm still being somewhat productive.

I'd also like to take this time to thank all of you prior and current Military who stop by here for your service. Without your sacrifices we wouldn't have the freedoms and choices we have today, including my own choice to accept or refuse the assignment that brought me over here



I'll write more later, for some reason todays physical therapy hurt even more than usual and now I'm a bit loopy from the pain meds doc gave me.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
FREEDOM IS NOT FREE
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Old 11-11-2009, 12:41   #1225
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If Grand baby Pictures will add any brightness to your day (and any others) here are some of mine.

Okie Memorial Area

Okie Memorial Area

Thank you (and all other veterans) for your service in protecting this little boy...
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angel soldier, breast cancer, chemotherapy, coming home, gtds, kicking cancer's ass, one giant leap!, rip jeff and gloria, whip those demons!
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Nov 11, 2013 at 11:42