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Old 10-24-2009, 17:39   #941
faawrenchbndr
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Lady_Wolfe,.......

Baby steps,....little by little.
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Old 10-24-2009, 19:37   #942
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Quote:
Originally Posted by silsby View Post
LW
I have been following your progress from the beginning. I have no words of wisdom to impart, but you can rest assured that my prayers go out to help you return to us healed.
Your trials have given a name and face to all of the warriors serving over there. It has given me a complete different view of what our troops are going through.
I will continue to lift you up in my prayers.
silsby, I thank you for the kind words and prayers. I will say though, I really hope what happened with me is not representative of what others are going through. Most people don't react to meds nearly as badly as I did. I wouldn't wish it on my Brothers and Sisters-in-Arms.


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Originally Posted by geofri View Post
Wow,
I feel bad being so late chiming in and all, but this is first time I have seen this thread.


Thanks so much lone wolfe!


Sure hope you continue to hang in there! Prayers sent!
No need to feel bad! Thank YOU for stopping and for the prayers.
And I'm still hanging in.

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Okie Memorial Area
Now that is tooooooo cute!

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Originally Posted by Slobberchops View Post
: wavey:
Hiya Slobberchops!

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Originally Posted by Zombie Steve View Post
Hey there, LW.

Hey Steve, good to see you.


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Originally Posted by Glock26girl View Post
One good thing about this place. We all love and care about you and don't want you to suffer alone. Please remember you are safe here.
Being in here and seeing all of you stopping in is the next best thing to actually having some of you in the room with me. I really don't feel alone when I'm in here.

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Originally Posted by Critias View Post
While I'm glad -- duh -- that the medic in question did his job and got you out of there with a pulse, I'm terribly sorry that he was such a douchebag about it when talking with you today, so much so that he'd admit square to your face that he only did it expecting a medal. Maybe I'm just missing something about the gung-ho medic mindset or something, but to me there's a world of difference between a humble "I was just doing my job, I'm glad you made it" and a jackass "I was just out for points, I can't believe it actually worked."

That said, if that interaction was that it took to break the dam and let you get out some tears, I think it's for the best. There's times that a good bawl is completely called for, and is the only thing that'll do what needs to be done inside your head and heart. Good on you for letting it out. The trick now is to find the valve that'll turn the water back off.

You know, the medic was known for being a jerk, but I think Brown Hawk has a real handle on why he acts that way. Itís got to be hard to work to save someone and believe that they wonít live no matter what you do. Even harder to know that person did die. I hope that he always does remember that he helped me beat the odds.

I think meeting that medic had a part in me finally letting go. I could feel it building up over that past several weeks, so many times I came close, but my fears would stop me. Silent_Runnerís long post almost did it. Thatís why I couldnít answer it, Iíd always start crying and couldnít see to type, but the floodgates never quite broke open. But everything building up then meeting him again seemed to be what I needed. I think the one thing that gets me the most was that shocked look on his face. He didnít expect me to make it, and he should know as well as anyone. Maybe the message finally got through. I still havenít found the off valve yet, although itís been more intermittent today. I know you folks have told me to cry it all out, and I think Iíve almost done that.


I laid down to sleep a couple hours ago and as soon as I fell asleep, even before my usual nightmares could start, I started dreaming that I could barely breathe. The weather changes in the last few days have made breathing painful, but not necessarily difficult. Well I woke up from that rubbed my chest a bit to try to get some relief, then tried rolling on my side to see if that helped. I went back to sleep and right into the same dream. Woke right back up, so I decided to go outside. I walked into an open area and saw 2 bright flashes that looked just like explosions on the horizon to the west of me. My Oh **** meter pegged for a split second and I was about to inhabit a nearby bunker before I realized I was seeing the first lightning of the season. A second after that the thunder told me I was right. It rained just a few minutes later, so at least I know why my chest feels like it does. I just wonder if the dreams were trying to tell me anything elseÖ.

Maybe I'll find out if I manage to get back to sleep tonight.....







DustyJacket, I read your story. Wow, glad it wasn't worse. And I'm a cat person, but I love doggies too. And your's are adorable. As for my day I kinda think it was a "one step back" day. But I haven't given up yet.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
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Old 10-24-2009, 19:48   #943
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Well then, tomorrow should be a "two steps forward" day....
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Old 10-24-2009, 20:52   #944
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LW, I'm still praying for you, specifically for a good night's sleep without nightmares and soon.

And any day one survives is a step forward, never back. It might not be as big a step forward as you want that day, but it is still a step forward.

Mrs.Cicero
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Old 10-24-2009, 22:50   #945
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Last edited by Geeorge; 02-05-2010 at 04:01..
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Old 10-24-2009, 23:06   #946
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Poop!

Your cell phone noes doz haz voice mail :::::pout::::::
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I am slowly falling apart - I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start. You might think it's easy being me ... Sometimes I find myself shaking - In the middle of the night. And then it hits me and I can't - Even believe this is my life
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Old 10-24-2009, 23:12   #947
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No, it doesn't. Nor can it get a connection. It keeps giving me missed calls or dropping the ringing call. Try a text message.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
FREEDOM IS NOT FREE
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Old 10-24-2009, 23:14   #948
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I sent you a text a couple hrs. ago from the 602 number. Dunno if it went through or not?

Tried several times from sister's landlind, Kali area code....... but I either get 7,426 different lanaguages' message that your phone is off or whatever, or it rings between 4 and 6 times and then either hangs up or goes to a 'system busy' type of busy signal.

10:15p here, I'll try again from the Kali land line.

---
Still no luck...... tried the 602 cell just for the hellofit, and call "was lost" about 4 rings into.

So........ I'll just do a few more "redials" on the Kali landline...... poop!
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I am slowly falling apart - I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start. You might think it's easy being me ... Sometimes I find myself shaking - In the middle of the night. And then it hits me and I can't - Even believe this is my life
(The Wreckers; "Stand Still; Look Pretty")

Last edited by MB-G26; 10-24-2009 at 23:18..
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Old 10-24-2009, 23:19   #949
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I still keep getting missed call or having it drop when I try to pick up.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
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Old 10-24-2009, 23:27   #950
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Argh..... I'll keep trying darnit.........now it's a challenge from the OverThereAhStan phone system!

Soon as I'm at a store w/Intl'l calling cards, I'm gonna get one for you and then PM all the magic numbers and stuff off the card
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I am slowly falling apart - I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start. You might think it's easy being me ... Sometimes I find myself shaking - In the middle of the night. And then it hits me and I can't - Even believe this is my life
(The Wreckers; "Stand Still; Look Pretty")
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Old 10-24-2009, 23:30   #951
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Just sent you a test text from my 602/Verizon cell (was Alltel, but Verizon 'ate 'em)....... did it come through?
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I am slowly falling apart - I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start. You might think it's easy being me ... Sometimes I find myself shaking - In the middle of the night. And then it hits me and I can't - Even believe this is my life
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Old 10-24-2009, 23:32   #952
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Now you see what poor Silent_Runner goes through any day I don't email her when she expects me to........



Yep, test from sunny Kali
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
FREEDOM IS NOT FREE

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Old 10-24-2009, 23:40   #953
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You're probably not old enough to remember "Laugh In" but...........One ringie dingie, two ringie dingie........

Okie Memorial Area
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I am slowly falling apart - I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start. You might think it's easy being me ... Sometimes I find myself shaking - In the middle of the night. And then it hits me and I can't - Even believe this is my life
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Old 10-24-2009, 23:47   #954
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Ummmmmmm, I'm crowding 50. I do remember Lily Tomlin...
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
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Old 10-24-2009, 23:51   #955
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ManOhManAhRoooo.......... I just keep redialing and redialing......... and it will ring ~4 or so times and then either go into dead silence phone line pergatory, or disconnect............::whimper::
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I am slowly falling apart - I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start. You might think it's easy being me ... Sometimes I find myself shaking - In the middle of the night. And then it hits me and I can't - Even believe this is my life
(The Wreckers; "Stand Still; Look Pretty")
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Old 10-24-2009, 23:56   #956
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MB-G26 View Post
ManOhManAhRoooo.......... I just keep redialing and redialing......... and it will ring ~4 or so times and then either go into dead silence phone line pergatory, or disconnect............::whimper::
Here it'll ring for a few seconds and when I open the phone it'll drop the call.
It would help if I was outside but I need to stay inside until the pills I took wear off a bit.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
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Old 10-25-2009, 00:04   #957
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I'm looking right now at online-purchasable long distance calling cards............
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I am slowly falling apart - I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start. You might think it's easy being me ... Sometimes I find myself shaking - In the middle of the night. And then it hits me and I can't - Even believe this is my life
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Old 10-25-2009, 05:25   #958
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Let's see. Falling asleep twice and only getting semi-nightmares - and that probably because of the weather. Progress is progress. Sounds more like a baby step forward, but forward is forward.

Will keep praying that the tears keep flowing till you don't need them any more. And that the sleep comes and the nightmares lessen and go away.

Love and prayers,

Hawk
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Old 10-25-2009, 05:34   #959
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Originally Posted by Brown Hawk View Post
Let's see. Falling asleep twice and only getting semi-nightmares - and that probably because of the weather. Progress is progress. Sounds more like a baby step forward, but forward is forward.

Will keep praying that the tears keep flowing till you don't need them any more. And that the sleep comes and the nightmares lessen and go away.

Love and prayers,

Hawk
They happened so fast that I didn't have time to get to my regularly scheduled nightmares, but hey, I'll take a little variety here. I tried and couldn't go back to sleep after that so I didn't get to find out what else was on tap.

You know I've cried a few buckets when 2 nights ago at the hospital they treated me for dehydration at the same time as they knocked me out.

I think it's starting to sink in. At least I don't feel quite so afraid to accept the facts. Althought the reality itself is scary. Does that make any sense?

Thank you for the prayers.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
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Old 10-25-2009, 05:52   #960
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
They happened so fast that I didn't have time to get to my regularly scheduled nightmares, but hey, I'll take a little variety here. I tried and couldn't go back to sleep after that so I didn't get to find out what else was on tap.

You know I've cried a few buckets when 2 nights ago at the hospital they treated me for dehydration at the same time as they knocked me out.

I think it's starting to sink in. At least I don't feel quite so afraid to accept the facts. Althought the reality itself is scary. Does that make any sense?

Thank you for the prayers.
Reality is always scary - if you've got any sense. "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." Once we start accepting, the scary can be controlled, because we're not afraid of being afraid, we are afraid of something tangible. We can always handle the tangible, given time. So not only does it make sense, it's actually very normal.

That's the second time in two days I've called you normal. This could get to be a habit.

Easy? No. Right track? You'd better believe it.

Love and prayers and lots of

Hawk
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